Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

fush after a few incidents last year I concluded that my sister only thinks kids are badly behaved if you are horrible to them. so any huffs and meltdowns are my fault. she used to work in mental heath and said she saw loads of adults screwed up as kids ( which I don't doubt ). but she's taking to the extreme now.

Aww I'm sorry to hear your family is PITA Meglet, just try to ignore them. I have a brother who is a massive Twat and is wife's no better, so much so, we're NC now. Brilliant Though I have two awesome brothers and Sils so its makes up for it!

Its 1am here, DD has a cold, constantly coughing and we now we have neighbours playing loud music. So poor DD just lost it and burst into tears as she so badly wants to go to sleep, now we're up just mucking about on computers.

Hoping the toilet training is going good Fush! I was absolutely hopeless at it.

to you all ladies

Well, your sister is an idiot then Meglet (sorry!).. I do think my brother thinks the same though, hence why I no longer really speak and he hasn't seen my DC for 18 months (I can sadly see a slight trend here!). It's sad though - in both their cases actually - as having no children of their own, they have the opportunity of hoovering up all the best bits by playing favourite aunty/uncle.. Instead, they give it Cats Bum Mouth and snide comments.

Well - their loss and I really believe that.. yes, my DC are no angels but they make me smile every day

Hope DD is feeling better, Thunder - bloody neighbours and combined with one of those coughs that won't quit. . I would probably cry too. Get well soon!!

yes fush, that's spot on. They could be having a whale of a time being super aunts & uncles, but they're doing the opposite because I'm keeping my distance now. I don't stop her taking the dc's out when we're there, we just don't visit as much as I would if she wasn't a twat.

Eventually got to asleep at about 2am and DD not much better.

Its awkward if NC siblings have a lovely adult children but their parents make them cut off every other family member. When I went NC DD asked me if she should chuck out all the stupid presents that NC SIL got her

very practical your DD hear! I would have probably agreed to a car-boot sale to make some bonus ££ for them.

Is she any better now, I'm trying to decide whether to use today or tomorrow, because you are already in tomorrow .

They would probably be worth a few ££ too as they are nice ornament type things like a glass shoe, ooh and there would be the cot she painted when DD was little - SiL always spoiled DD as she had 3 sons and she's the youngest Grandchild by 8 years.

Sigh, still not much better, now on a bloody asthma inhaler for her cough (don't know anyone saw my flaming in AIBU?! - felt very proud) and got an ear infection but still trudging on at school as she has internal assessments due this week. Though she had a massive meltdown (stress, sickness etc) at me the other day for forgetting to buy her a protractor for geography project, ending taping an old one together NZ time difference is such a PITA, though at least one of the first to ring in the New Year!

gosh, I didn't see your flaming!

I only post in aibu when I'm 99% sure I'm nbu

Hi, so glad I came across this post. I've hit a low point, being a lone parent is hard an it's really gotten the upper hand this past week.
I've been studying in college since September an had high hopes for uni In afew months. Now the realisation is setting in that I don't think il be a able to go...I want to study nursing an 50% of the degree is placement (shift patterns) I rely on the 9-5 childcare now for college an there is no one else around for "out of social hours" childcare.
I feel so lost, I wanted to build a great future for me an my DC but now I can't see that happening.
Sorry for the moan

lookfor well done for starting the course! can the collective mn brains come up with a way you can continue to study, maybe something similar that won't require shifts for now? there's got to be away forwards even if you have to take a little detour.

have mn got any nursing / medical career threads?(not had any tea yet so I'm not firing on all cylinders)

I'm thinking about maybe trying to go on another course (stil degree) that's more 9 to 5. I'm not sure if I'm able to given I've already sent my ucas off an received interviews. Just getting the interviews was a big boost in confidence tbh.
Maybe nursing isn't the career route I'm ment to take, I just don't want to look back an think I gave up after the mess he (ex husband) left us in. My DC are 2 and 3 an I've been a single parent since DD was 6months old.
Feeling abit more positive this morning now I've had some food, it's the evenings when they're in bed an your minds' left to worry!!
Thanks for listening

Have to echo Meglet - well done for getting on the course and forging ahead with your career... I know that some units do offer a more stable pattern of shifts ie GUM, blood service etc although I am guessing you need to be proficient in a wide area to qualify..

Perhaps some other medical career ie osteopath, chiropractor etc might be a plan - not sure about the training for these though and they could be completely wrong for you

Life is so hard as a lone parent as this thread really shows at times but you're really showing your DC a fabulous example so even when you're down, you should take heart that you're not letting the bastard ex get you down!

Hello, please may I join you?
I am a single parent to DD 11, separated last summer & divorced in October.
I work full time in education and have occasional (very little) help from exh...its soooo tiring!
I'm 41, but 20 something in my head with limited time & money and sometimes find it really, really tough to not have someone to just bounce ideas off, or help lift something with me, or keep an eye on DD so I can pop to the shops etc etc.
I have some lovely friends but no family nearby...closest is over 100 miles away and not in good health/sometimes NC and furthest is about 5,000 miles away!
Very much just me & DD.....wonderful at times, but lonely and restricting at others due to limited help, crazy busy job (and finances)

I hear you Heffalumps - it is wonderful but sometimes I think all I do is complain and moan

Sorry to hear of yet another ex who does the bare minimum - so frustrating! My family are also not local and I do get a little bit to my friends who all have parents who looks after their DC during the week or aunts & uncles who take them for an afternoon out.. ah well, just another thing to suck up!

Sorry - am normally a bit cheerier, honest!

May I join you too. I'm a single mum to 12 and 10 year old DCs, been separated and divorced 2.5 years, but XH was hardly ever here so probably operated as a single mum since DS2 was a baby. I normally cope with everything thrown at me and to be honest life has thrown some real shit at me in the last three years. But my DS1 had a horrendous accident last week, although he's really doing well at getting over it, then DS2 choked on some food and if it wasn't the quick thinking of a friend doing the Heimlich on him that I don't think he'd be here today, and then yesterday XH cancelled his promised visit to the DCs for the second time this year and he hasn't seen them since November last year. Last year he only saw them for three days.

I'm stuck living in France because this was XH's dream (but he always managed to keep his foot in the door in the UK so never properly joined us) my family are brilliant but a long way away. I have no money and now XH is saying he's going to lose his job so I'll lose his maintenance money. I get very little in the way of benefits and I work long hours for very little money. I do have lovely friends here in France although one is buggering off back to the UK in a couple of weeks so I have no idea who is going to be my sounding board now and to be honest I'm just really, really tired of everything.

My DCs are brilliant, they hardly give me any trouble, but to see how sad they were yesterday and how angry DS1 is about his dad - it breaks my heart. XH has always got an excuse and he's a permanent victim. The thing is DS1 asked me not to tell his dad about his accident because he said, if daddy knows and doesn't visit I'll be really sad, but if he doesn't know and just doesn't visit then that's just normal. But I felt I had to tell him, quite simply because if he ever has the DCs again and something serious were to happen to them in his care, he's such a vindictive bastard he'd never tell me. But I'm watching my DCs break their hearts and sometimes I really hate the guy for what he does to them.

Sorry for the moan, just tired and sad I think.

Welcome Heff and Britt to this great thread of support and shoulders. You can moan here all you like. There is usually someone to pat you on the back...

My Dc's don't see their fathers. Ds hasn't seen his for 13 years (no loss) and Dd has seen hers once in about 5 years (I think). He works abroad atm and I wish he'd stay there tbf as I've done all the work anyway without him. My Ds is 16.6 and Dd is 8.2. Both very challenging right now ~ as in challenging me! Ds is at that age and Dd just copies him. Right madam!

OMG! I have no idea how that got there!!

Hi everyone, feeling abit more positive today. My youngest finally had a decent nights sleep in what seems like a lifetime ago! So feel like a new woman today. I was able to have a afew minutes to myself this morning to try an think of the things I've gained being a lone parent, instead of what I've lost...which is what I usually think. When my children are playing together an laughing...it's me that gets to see it, when they come home from nursery with a new sticker and are so proud of themselves...it's me that gets to see their faces. Even the possessions in the house..I bought them, the food that they wolfed down...I made that. We are all doing such an amasing job just getting up in the morning we don't give ourselves enough credit. Having read all these posts I'm proud to be a single mum, they're the strongest most resiliant women I know!! cheers to being fucking wonder women!!

Brittany oh that's a lot on your plate . how is your ds now?

Did your xh never move to France then?

Good for you Rainbows! it's nice to see what you do have, but it can be very difficult to do it :)

Awww massive hugs andfor you, it will happen there's someone out there , he's going to be amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't doubt it, never never underestimate yourself! You've had a baby your body is amazing look at what it did!! Be proud!!

Hello
Thank you for the welcome and hello to Brittany too.
This thread has been a god send this (very long) weekend, I have read it all through a couple of times and I agree with Rainbows - wonder women united!
Have a great week everyone.

:) you too Heff :) we are very strong you know; even when we are feeling weak.