Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

Hello floundering (sorry I completely missed you before!) Just like to say you sound like an amazing mother dealing with 2 dc with MH. My DD is 15 so can understand general teenage stuff but unfortunately have no experience in mental health.

Ugh another mental week at work due to difficult colleagues/customers worked 2 hours overtime at work today, so poor DD had to hang around till 6:15pm followed by another hour at home. And I thought things were looking up..

How's everyone else going?

I hope no one minds me coming do late to the party but have read the whole thread over the course of the day and I already feel so at home

I'm a LP to two, DD is 5 going on 15 and DS is just 3 - and I am really struggling at the moment. I want to enjoy my children but it is so so hard - DD is in her own world most of the time so completely ignores me to the point I end up getting angry and DS is pretty feisty at the mo, pushing all the time, 'no' is his favourite word and he copies his sister ad infinitum

I need to do something different as I really hate myself a lot - they deserve so much better. Doesn't help that my stbxh (who left over 2 yrs ago for OW) is always lurking, criticising and portraying himself as Perfect Parent without actually doing any of the day to day job of raising his children! He has been very involved (was the SAHP before he left) but has just checked our over the course of the last 6 months to he point where it is all on me. He has a massive support system, I don't. ..

Anyways - enough of a moan! I think it was Roar mentioned getting a cat. DO IT - best thing I have done in a long time and my gorgeous boy is always up for snuggles and is currently keeping my feet warm in bed!

This thread has really brought it home to me that whilst I feel alone, I'm not really - there are kindred spirits out there so thank you! I think I'll be venting on here a lot

Thunder I always hated unscheduled overtime! so annoying and inconvenient!! hope that side improves greatly for you

Fush come on in! welcome to the anything goes ~ Fed Up Thread! :) sounds like you've had a crap time of it all. I can't say it will get easier; mine are older than yours and it certainly hasn't, it's just got different . Moan, rant, shout on here. Most of us do and yes! it's so good to know it's not just you .

Hello fush just echoing solo you can moan and rant as much as you like on here. You are not alone! So sorry your stbxh has been a PITA. Yes I can't wait for a cat and something to cuddle, we had a dog before and they are lovely but you just can't cuddle them the same as cats. Getting a cat now as a dog is just too hard work as a single parent working ft.

Honestly, it does get easier and harder in different way as my DD is 15 so now independent but harder emotionally and helping with spelling is easier than helping with Pythagorus Theorem

Work has got better, finished at 5pm today!!! It's only one week of the month where I do overtime, so it has massively improved since I started there. The plus side of finishing after 5 is you don't get caught in the 5:00 rush.

Thanks you both so much for the welcome

Massive step forward today I'm that stbxh signed the child arrangement order which means it goes in front of the judge and, fingers crossed, gets stamped off. It's been a long, horrible journey to get here but finally sorted. Also means I get 5 nights a month child free which I know is more than many of you but I can't believe how much of a difference it has already made - knowing there will be one night a week when I can just sleep!!

I am not mad old cat lady yet but if I thought for one minute my lovely boy could handle another cat (he most definitely cannot ), I would have another in a heartbeat. I always thought I was a dog person but turns out I got that totally wrong!

I was working FT until the beginning of the year but have reduced my hours significantly to cope with what the ex has thrown at me recently - I admire you greatly for doing it as it can be such a slog; up, ready for school, school run, work, collect DC, dinner, homework, bed, repeat!

Hope you're all having a great idea day - due to the signing of the order, most definitely having one of the best days I've had in many months

Sorry - shocking number of typos I am literate - honest!

:)

fush enjoy the sleep!

you know when you're so tired that it almost seems preferable to stare into space and go to bed hungry because you don't have the energy to cook. that.

Have finally decided on a jacket spud.

I went to the chippy Meglet - even that was an effort (and the curry sauce was awful!). I was invited to join mt dsis & dbil for a night out, only I went into town this afternoon (bank review then went shopping) so when she rang at 6 tonight I was knackered, so whilst they were getting ready for a night out I was putting my pj's on.

No wonder I'm single on Valentines......!

Oh, and had to make 2nd trip for Dreamies for the cat, we ran out and God help me if she didn't get her fix....

Happy Valentines ladies

My plan is a walk in the forest this afternoon followed by pasta or chicken nuggets with the DC and then an early night! What red blooded male wouldn't want a piece of that!

I am already too tired & am sat on my sofa just staring into space instead of fixing lunch... sigh, best get onto it..

On a happier note, I gave DD a copy of Frozen last night (we must've be the last household in Britain without our own copy) and she was so so so happy. Wish I could make her that happy all the time.

Happy Thankgoditsallover Eve!!!!

That sounds a perfect Valentines to me FushandChups - we're (me and dd) having pizza whilst watching Mazerunner that dd's bought with her birthday money!

Sorry - rant alert!

As you probably know I have been off work for 3 weeks with stress/anxiety. I'm due back at the Dr's this afternoon and I'm hoping to go back on reduced hours as of tomorrow (I have wed/thurs booked off and don't work fridays so in effect going in for 1 day!). That 1 day my dd is going to her grandparents. My dd is a mature 12 - not exactly unable to speak/do things. My dm has just called knowing all this

"What will she want for breakfast? We don't have any white bread, could you bring some - and what about supper - I don't want her hungry, and the only juice I have in the house will have gone off, and I have no squash - oh no, oh dear, I don't want her going hungry.....could you do/sort/arrange" all said in a panicky voice.

Well thanks mum. Whilst I'm trying to stay calm today, not let the OCD cleaning take over and relax down you've just got my levels all high again.......

Oh Fos - that does sound hard, especially with it being your mum who I am sure is well aware of how you're feeling at the moment.. I have no advice as luckily my parents don't ever offer and my MIL when she did in the past would rather do things her way anyway - which sounds like a dig but isn't as she's wonderful with my DC.

I really hope the day back goes well though - I know how daunting it can be returning after a long absence but might be even tougher with your work being the cause of the time off too.. sorry, am probably contributing to your stress.

Just know I'm listening if nothing else

Thanks Fush!

I hadn't realised the sick note runs out on Wednesday not tomorrow! Signed off until Sunday and reduced hours from Monday onwards, but I'm going to take my sick note in tomorrow just to show myself I CAN get through the door!!!

I know my mum doesn't realise what she's doing, but honestly, sometimes!!!!

Hope things are going well for you

How's everyone doing?

Such a busy weekend, we were at a croquet tournament on Valentines day that went till 2am, though I didn't get past the heats And then DD was lifeguarding the following day and by the time she got home she was exhausted.

Tbh it's so much easier working FT when DC are teens as DD can come to my work/catch the bus home etc compared to when she was at primary that was a massive struggle! and I can leave early to take DD to sports as I work ridiculous amount of overtime.

I DID IT!!!!!

I went into work to take my sick note. Everyone was lovely. Looking forward to going back - 1st time in ages I've felt like this!

Hooray Am so glad you're looking forward to going back!

Wow! some positivity going on on here ; so good to see!!

I hope you are feeling less tired meglet I know what tiredness is like, so empathies from me.

I am just about getting over the weekend now, so the half term has been almost entirely wasted due to knackeredness!

Well - to balance it out then, I am at the end of my rope with DS and his toilet training 'trained' since October but accidents at least once a day and today was three, exceptionally voluminous wees... everywhere! My kitchen is full of wet trousers & pants that smell and it is every day!

I know he'll get there but is far & away the worst part of parenting for me! He does seem to grasp it at school - and of course at stbxh's if he's to be believed - but at home, nah!

Argh

Watching Emperors New Groove all snuggled on my bed so not all bad but fuck me! It's frustrating as hell!

solo I'm feeling a bit better, we've been in Devon for a few days ( with family ). I've just been for a 5 mile run while the dc's fester in their pj's . I'm just about to try and get them ready so we can wander down the beach before we head home.

Meglet why the face re family? everything ok?
I am soooo about your 5 mile run...wish I could still run. I used to do 2-2.5 miles twice a week years ago and loved it. Sadly, I just can't now.

solo my family are a pita. Mum barely acknowledges me and has turned against me since I got an Asd dx last year. They've decided that dd doesn't have Asd except she has every trait and I've just "screwed her up". sister is bitter she is almost to old to have kids and criticises my parenting at any opportunity. hence the long run so I can get out the house . my step dad is ok, quiet and crap with the kids but he knows the best running routes.

That sounds horrid Meglet - my family are distant and I have also distanced myself from my only sibling but it's not like that.

I'm hoping you just nod & ignore - but must be just so hard with them being family I feel blessed every day to have my DC no matter how hideous they have been so it must smart not to have any if that's what you've wanted. That said, no one should pass judgement on parenting - you never have any idea what's going on, no matter how close you think you are. . and doesn't sound like you're close anyway...

Hope everyone had a good half term and is having a relaxing weekend. Watching Frozen for the 'goodness knows how many times since she was given it last Friday', so happy DC for now