Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

I keep dipping into the big David Cameron £23 k benefit cap thread and getting the rage. fucking tories screwing the welfare state and leaving people to fight over the scraps. and fucking daily mail too .

I am now heading back into the office for a calming tea and a snack .

I'm purposely keeping away from that thread Meg - let's just say at times there at 2 kinds of mnetters it seems!

Assessment went well - I've been offered self guiding CBT which is what I was hoping for, and she said due to my high scores (max'd out the anxiety one!) to maybe think about meds, but I keep getting concerned about the idea of them - I went on amitryptalene (sp?) for nerve damage when I had shingles once and couldn't function due to tiredness so it's a big decision. She also said I'd be looking at being on them for a min of 6 months. I think I'll leave that one to another day!

Hey, all. Internet been so slow here, haven't be able to make it onto mums net much. Nothing to report here, apart from DD is finally back at school on monday, can't bloody wait!

solo I would defiantly prefer a dog to a cat but I just don't have the time and energy for another dog at the moment but I am looking forward to having something to cuddle and catch mice

Foslady I did answer your post yesterday, but it's not here! odd!
There are different meds available and if you explain your concerns to your GP, they should be able to offer something else? Have you thought about OTC 'meds' like St Johns Wort or Rhodiola Rosea (see the link for info) Here. I'm thinking of trying this again for my ME. It's a long time since I used it and I don't know why I stopped taking it.

HTTR I know what you mean :) I couldn't invest in a dog either :) but yes, it would be nice to snuggle up with a furry friend! let us know what you get and post pictures if you can so we can appreciate your new family member!

Meglet have you finished backing up your photos? I really must do the same!

Misstired and LadySybil how are you doing?

DancingCrown, warmleatherette, Lushlush, Tardis, smileybadger, howto, TheOriginalNutcracker and anyone else I've missed out, how are you all doing? where are you?! :)

I've done the laptop solo . I need to do my old phone next.

Excellent!

well, the dc's have behaved appalingly this weekend. Constant fights since friday evening, or if it wasn't one having a meltdown it was the other. . 6yo DD dropped off to sleep after a tantrum while I was having a shower so I didn't get to round off the day with a story . 8yo DS is unusually awake (unheard of for him) so I have let him watch Top Gear up in my room while I lurk down stairs.

fos I was prescribed amytriptiline for IBS a couple of years ago, apparently a low dose can calm the bowels. I couldn't even handle half a tablet without feeling wiped out and went back to speak to the GP. His answer....... that I should bear with it for 3 or 4 weeks while I got used to them. The poor bloke had to listen to a stern word from me pointing out that I'm a LP with a job and couldn't afford to do bugger all for 3 weeks while I got used to them. It pisses me off how people have all these wonderful suggestions, then realise that as a LP you are totally screwed when you have to deal with things, all the balls have to be kept up in the air, no one else is going to do it for you. So, after that rant, I don't blame you for not taking them.

Anyway, 2 weeks until half term. I've got that week off. It could go either way.

:( meglet I'm sorry your weekend has been crap. It's sooo hard!!

Mine has been completely wasted as on Saturday I barely got out of bed . Dd is good in that she will happily entertain herself mostly...I feel crap though. Today was a late get up and over to Mums for dinner...had some weepy moments too today...I'm going to dig out the Rhodiola rosea I think. Just hope it doesn't poison me as it's been in the cupboard for a very long time!

Back at the Dr's tomorrow - anxiety it getting up already fgs.....

I feel so stupid - I've always been so strong - now I keep stressing at simple things and manically cleaning.

I feel ok most of the time, but then when I talk about it I go to pieces inside.

It's crap.

Try not to worry about it fos and explain all to doctor. Sometimes our strength runs low and it's hardly surprising is it? what with everything we have to do every day.
I hope you are sleeping well.x

Another 2 weeks off, which I'm relieved about in one sense, but wish I didn't feel the need for them IYSWIM. Means I go back for the Tuesday of half term. I already have the wed/thurs booked off and don't work Fridays so I think I'm going to see if I can manage the Tuesday poss on reduced hours

Thanks Solo - I tend to go to bed at silly o'clock otherwise I just lay there - which is silly and manage about 5-6 hours straight through so it's pretty good (apart from when the cat decides to jump on me and wake me up!).

Sorry to hear about the crap weekends you and Meglet have had - hope it gets beter for both of you this week x

Oh, and no meds from the Dr so taking that as a positive - also hoping that 1st counselling appointment comes through before sick note runs out (but if it doesn't not to worry) - hoping I can take some strength from it

Thank you so much for being there - you really are helping letting me get this all out xx

glad you've got more time fos . only having one day back before another break could work well. Did you find the time and head space to do your art & craft?

Glad you have more time fos.

Yes I have Meglet! I've put the pics on Facebook, I'll see if I can get a couple to load on here - I'm actually really chuffed with them! I did the bird pic 1st, the background is a picture my dd took and the lace is offcuts from many many years ago when I made her christening gown, the Twinkle picture has already been claimed!!!
They are templates from a company Paper Panda who have asked that they be credited if we publish them

May I join very late in the day please?

I could do with someone to share stuff with sometimes like you've all said, I actually am Ok on my own mostly but it does make it hard when there is no one to share the shit times & just bounce ideas off or discuss worries/ plans with.

Oh & I'm fed up with fighting for money all the friggin time, tax credits people etc just wish I could afford to say stuff it, I don;t need it.

Oh I'm such a happy soul really!!!

Welcome aboard Floundering - this is the home for you! Feel free it let it out here, that's what we're all here for. (although I'm about to hit the hay - went back to bed this morning once dd had gone to bed and woke up at 11 - oops!)

Fos they are gorgeous!!!

Floundering, yes, come on in!! :) post away. I admit though, that I too am about to go to bed. Will read and reply tomorrow though :)

Thanks all, will catch up properly tomorrow or over the w/e trying to have an early night as have had a shite day arguing with HMRC & crying alternately.

:(

hope you're feeling better tomorrow floundering.

Hope you are going to have a better weekend this week, kids at that age can be so ratty. Fingers crossed your IBS improves.

I have nothing to report apart from DD being back at school and she already tired and it was a short week due to a public today Though it was bucketing down today and I was hoping to get some outside painting down. Oh well there was always the rest of the weekend..

Thanks for the welcome & thanks meglet

Struggling ATM to be honest, fed up with the constant responsibility & burden of being a LP.
My 2 are older than most of yours, I suspect and have always been good kids, still are but have both have had serious MH issues over the last few years, ironically just when things were looking up for me & I had come out of a bad bout of depression. Feeling overwhelmed a lot of the time and being socially isolated doesn't help. I have some good friends but because we don't live nearby we have to make plans to meet up no dropping by for coffee which I'd love.

ANYHOO.....not a very positive introduction to the group, apologies, hope you are all having a good w/e, and the sun is shining with you.

:) don't worry about feeling less than positive on here! I think we all do that :) it can really help to just let it out to someone!
How old are your Dc's? mine are 8 and 16. I've always been on my own with them, but it's really hard at times even though I'm used to it .

I've had severe depression before too, though the last big episode was when pg with Ds and a bit afterwards. Ds has been depressed too. Dd is ok so far. It's really hard to know what to do for and how to deal with children that are depressed. It does seem to run in our family though (my Mum mostly).
Sooo, don't worry about feeling a bit negative here; at least it's a safe place to let off steam :)

Thunder I hope your Dd is ok.
How is everyone else doing?

Hello everyone! Was dd's 12 birthday this weekend so stressed myself stupid on Saturday - no one ever comes to my house and it was going to be full of family and friends....but I got there and ended up with stress induced chest pains that only left this morning and throwing up!, but she enjoyed it all so that was the main.

I'm beginning to get a bit fed up with xh's partner. She has no children, is 12 years younger than me and keeps passing judgement on my child raising skills. Gems previously have included my daftness of going to a London museum at a weekend (we live no where near London so couldn't go during the week plus there's the small matter of attending school.... and this was part of an organised bus trip!), dd having 'too much technology and not believing her when she told her that she had bought the majority of it herself (which he had) and now the latest judgement? Her TV viewing is 'inappropriate'. The program in question? The Big Bang Theory. Oh and she questioned xh on the suitability of Topgear......

Hope everyones had a good weekend, and I really hope your HMRC issues are getting sorted Floundering

Hi fos! well done on getting through the birthday festivities! I don't have anyone visit me either (my choice), so I can understand the anxiety of then having a house full of people!!
Have you spoken to your exh about his partners comments? I'd want to shout at her! so well done in being so self controlled. She has no clue does she!!! . She'd have a field day with what my Dd watches on TV! silly woman! I hate people like that!