Fed up with not having anyone to share the burdens with.

[Solo]

Bit of a self pitying thread really, but it's taken me a very long time and I can now say with conviction that after being on my own for so long...

I am fed up with the burden of being alone.
I am fed up with struggling on my own.
I am sometimes lonely.
I have no single parent friends or single friends at all and my 'social life' ha! what a joke is visiting my widowed Mum or visiting my Brother.
I miss my Dad terribly.
I can't get a job.
Not one 'friend' has spoken to me so far this summer holiday (except one that lives on cloud fluffyland in her mansion and that really cheers me up because shopping is her passtime!).

I could write a very long list of problems and yes, I know we all have problems, but I just don't want to do it on my own any longer, I don't want to face the problems on my own :( I could cry right now and need a real 'man hug' and I don't care who knows it!

checking in. my car has just cost me £400 (new front tyres and an engine sensor) so I'm grumping about and will have to dip into my savings again. back later.

I'm not too bad - still feel lonely but someone lent me some Ross Nobel DVD's and for the 1st time in ages I've been genuinely really laughing (thanks Ross!).
I had a run in at work last week with another dept, but luckily my manager was as hacked off about it all as I was so at least I got backed up, but the stupid thing is, when I got home, I really could have done with a hug and being told it was ok. But of course there is no one, so I spent the evening feeling crappy when I shouldn't have.
But on the plus side, I get paid again in a few days so I'll be brave enough to log onto my on line banking!

Just got my car back after 3 weeks without. £600+ ouch! not good.

Ooh not good on the car front Meglet and Solo!

I think if we didn't stop and reassess she would probably just stay the same but she's asthmatic too, so I don't really want to risk it. DD won't ditch her friend as her friend really needs the support right now, she is a lovely girl but I don't think she realises how hard it is growing up in a single parent household (our holiday was paid through inheritance).

Fos, I feel your pain on having no one to rant at after long shit day at work. Last week I walked in the door ranting and swearing my head off at DD, which she shouldn't have had to hear. Just want someone to listen!

I felt the rage this week when my best friend who has just separated from her husband who wants shared custody but she won't let him (decent father, probably better than her!) was complaining about hard it was being a single mother. Yet she can afford a cleaner, her mum makes baking/helps with cooking and has just paid for a $7000 holiday for her and to her two DD's, her dad helps with gardening and handy work around the house and her STBXH just lives up the road.

solo we are in car hell aren't we! It's insurance and tax this month too .

fos and where I get huffy with the dc's when I've had a hectic day at work. It's been busier than usual the last few weeks so I start getting anxious and gearing myself up the evening before and don't relax until I'm logging off at the end of my working week. Our office isn't at all chatty so I have to suck it up and don't really have anyone to moan about it with.

I'm just about to back up 2 years of photos my laptop to the hard drive. The internal power connection is buggered and only works when I tape the cable to the table so it doesn't wobble loose. It can be fixed but I daren't hand it over to the repair team until it's backed up.

ten thousand photos you say Mr Laptop.

I think I need to rein in my picture taking.

Meglet I lost over a thousand photos from my phone because I couldn't tx them to my laptop :( never to be repeated photos...:(

Well I've finally said 'enough'.

I've been battling on too long, and after a spectacularly shit day at work I've been to the Dr's. He's signed me off for 2 weeks to review, and referred me for counselling. I'm fed up of being on the verge of tears and all the crap from work. In the end my sister told me to go as I'd stopped functioning properly and used the 'You have to stay healthy for dd's sake' card. I know she was right, but I've tried so hard to not get to this point. I actually feel calm now, and I'm trying to make some plans for me.

So far I have decided to restart yoga again via youtube (and actually get some kit for it), restart the job hunt and not get depressed if/when I can't find anything and have sent for a starter pack for a new hobby (paper cutting).

I felt last night as if I'd failed. I feel as if the fog is beginning to clear a bit now and have started to breathe normally. I'm going to get there.

Foslady (((hugs))) to you.

Clearly it is work that is causing your troubles right now because being signed off for 2 weeks has allowed you to breathe again. I remember all too well the struggle with work and a crap marriage to go home to and finally just...well, breaking :(. It's so important to look after ourselves and yet, we are the last people we care for aren't we?!
I wish you peace and relaxation.

For crying out loud

Some one I was friends with years ago, and works at the same place has called me.

'I saw the Dr for stress too, you've been bad for ages......2 weeks off work, thing is you still have to go back, I wouldn't let the Doc sign me off, and I don't think counselling has worked for me at all.......you have to start getting out more, that's your problem........'

I'm actually pretty annoyed about it tbh. It's taken me ages to pluck up courage to see the doc

Hey guys, this is Wherehas1999DissappearedToo, have decided to name change due to being worried about NC Brother and SiL tracking me down..

Well done fos you are doing really well. Just ignore your tactless friend.

Nothing new here, looking at getting a cat.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!!! fos take your 2 weeks off, take more if you need to. Stress and depression and anxiety affect different people in different ways and at different strengths. Maybe she wasn't that bad, but YOU, you need time. End of. Ignore her comments and as for "you have to start getting out more, that's your problem........' " that's a crap thing to say to anyone, let alone a lone Mum that is having a few issues in herself. Like telling someone to 'pull their socks up' that winds me right up! I'm so angry for you.

So yes! IGNORE THE STUPID WOMAN imho.

Hear I love the new name even if you were kind of pushed into it.
I am not a cat lover, but have become more tolerant of them in recent years to the point that I considered getting one. Then I saw my friends leather sofa. My friend being like me and a non cat person that changed her mind and the cat has ruined her furniture!!! so, I won't be getting a cat myself. Let us know if you do it though and how it goes and some pictures too :)

Hi everyone could I join this thread again ?

Ive been having problems with my interet for a while. All fixed now though then I kind of forgot about this thread

I knew I was forgetting/missing something :)

Hello miss no need to ask, just continue!!
How are you?

Bad news for me. Came home in the early hours in a pickup truck as my car is in trouble again :( got to bed at 5:15am!!

fos I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if someone told me to get out more

Thanks Solo and Meglet. She rang back the next day different again! I actually took it as a positive that I realised just what a pile of crap she was talking! The team I work with have been great, telling me to do whatever I need to do to get back to being me. Apparently when they heard I was going to the Doc's they all said that they hoped he'd sign me off and that I started looking to do things for me.

I tried to take my sick note in yesterday but when I woke up that morning felt sick about going into the building - ridiculous I know! - so my niece popped it in for me and then I took her for lunch. I've started paper cutting as a hobby and realised that I've been operating at a stupid speed for ages, feeling guilty when I sit down, always looking for the next job to do (and feeling guilty for the crap state of the house and garden). It took me ages to settle down and concentrate on the beginners page, I kept looking at the practice sheet thinking 'I've got to get through this' - after 5 mins I sat back and asked myself why I felt the need to rush.

The really funny thing is when I'm mentioned it to friends they've all started to tell me how awful their jobs are!!!

Oh no Solo - hope the car isn't too expensive

solo cars are money pits aren't they . Part of me would like to get rid of mine but we'd never be able to go anywhere. Public transport is poor and booking cabs would take ages.

fos enjoy the papercutting and your time away from work . I agree with you about the rushing thing, I'm also permanently thinking and trying to do at 100mph.

Had a nice weekend(ish). We did parkrun yesterday and DD went to a party today, broke it up a bit. Although we've had too many fights and too many "mummmeeeeeeeeee...he/she has......" whining for my liking though.

what would be nice would be not having to be the person who locks and checks the doors every night. especially when I have a tendency to triple check everything.

Hear hear Meglet - I an SOOOO fed up of knackeredly crawling into bed, turning out the light and then turning it on again and dragging myself downstairs again to check the doors when all I want to do is sleep

Hello everyone, how are you all?

The car is fine thanks; an engine mounting bolt had fallen out and has been replaced and it is fine now :).

Went to do Dd's hair today to find something stuck in it at the end of the plait; turns out it's chewing gum . We don't have chewing gum and Dd is not allowed it even if we did! so, someone at school has put gum in her hair and I'm livid. Think I'm going to talk to the school.

Been looking for party shoes and first communion footwear today online. Got a big family do in a few weeks and Dd needs shoes for that.

Peanut butter gets chewing gum out of hair!

Oh - and glad the car wasn't too bad!

Have my telephone assessment at 2 - spent the morning trying to stay calm and getting in a tizz. Emailed a friend who lives abroad and ended up having a good long chat - they've been there too so helped to calm me

Ooh! thanks fos and good luck with the phone thing.x