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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

dating and the singleton hints and tips thread

234 replies

outofmyleugue · 20/05/2006 19:57

ok so having not dated since teens and now in late 30s ,i would love you to share your hints and tips avoid me still acting like teenager !thanks all

OP posts:

nikkie · 20/05/2006 20:41

Have you met someone?
I have no advice but am interested as I have no idea how to meet men and get a date

stripeybumpsmum · 20/05/2006 21:31

Sorry, married hijacking thread. Internet dating is my recommendation! Met my DH thru' Match.com. Initially looked at site as a bet. But, if you were looking for a house, you wouldn't just wait for someone to say 'Hey I'm for sale' or just knock on a front door and ask if they were interested would you ? You'd go to an estate agent - internet dating kind of the same. You can have a look online, decide which to get the specification for, weed out the timewasters and go to see the ones that are really special. And you know what you are getting as you can specify everything from age to height to religion to geographical area to whether they have their own kids, want them etc.
Was very sceptical at first but have happy ending - kind of fell in love through email for a few weeks before we decided to meet.

But be sensible about safety.

Good luck

fattiemumma · 21/05/2006 11:13

im in the same boat OOML

i have no idea where you go to meetpeople and i am terrified of actually going on date.
I have looked at a couple of those website dating things but i am scared to join in case soeone tries to contact me lol

singledadofthree · 21/05/2006 20:01

can i cheat as i'm also in same boat - although sitting on the other side - and could do with some inside knowledge...has been so long my boat looks like the ark.
am a long term single parent with only a couple of interludes along the way.

lou33 · 21/05/2006 20:14

all i seem to get is married men hitting on me or stupid fools who think their idea of getting my attention is to walk up behind me and start thrusting their c*ck into my thigh

someone who falls between those examples would be nice

hoolagirl · 21/05/2006 21:45

Hmm, started dating again about 6 months ago after a few years on my own and I still acted like a teenager ! As did he I might add ! Don't think the initial embarassment of it ever leaves you until you get to know someone quite well no matter how old you are!
In fact we're still acting like teenagers

nutcracker · 21/05/2006 21:47

Am watching this thread closely. Have only been single for about 4mths now, but a date now and again would be nice.

singledadofthree · 21/05/2006 23:37

pmsl at that lou,
i sure arent married - ex did a runner - and should beable to refrain from the randy puppy routine so theres hope for me yet :o

rickman · 21/05/2006 23:48

I've been single for 2 years now and I haven't dated at all. I'm amazed that some of you that have only recently become single, are so keen to meet someone else.

I have browsed on internet dating sites, but haven't the nerve to do anything more. Not sure I'd get any offers anyway. Would be nice to have someone to flirt with though, I need the practice.

fattiemumma · 21/05/2006 23:58

thats the thing rickman. im desperate to get out there and be "ME" again rather than mummy, cabbie and maid.
the thing is even if some blind deaf lunatic eventually did take an interest i would be absolutly terrified. i wouldnt have aclue what to do, say, where, go anything.

and if it progressed to the bedroom.....OMG that is just the stuff from nightmares! i think i have become a born again virgin.

lou33 · 22/05/2006 00:08

careful singledad, i might start stalking you

lou33 · 22/05/2006 00:11

i had a fling when i was last in thailand, but it would be nice not to have to travel 6000 miles to do it again

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 10:01

I remember my first date after breaking up with dd's dad. I was sooooo nervous, almost shaking...
I drank quite a lot and ended up slagging off my ex quite a bit ( such a no no)
Still I dont' think I put him off as we ended up going out for 18 months!

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 12:07

Ps one thing I regret is when he asked me on date 2 if I had dated many people since splitting up with my ex. I was trying to be all nonchalant and sophisticated (and not wanting him to think i was still hung-up on ex)
and said 'oh yes, loads'. As the relationship progressed he asked more and more questions truthfully . Next time will be honest from the start!

nikkie · 22/05/2006 13:49

I have been single for nearly 5 years now, occaisionally I think someone is nice but not met anyone to 'date'

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 14:03

Hi Nikkie
Sorry to hear it's been five years! You never know what's round the corner...
How often do you get out? Have you thought about internet dating etc ( never done it myself but considering it...)

nikkie · 22/05/2006 14:24

Don't get out ,thats part of the problem!

Have looked at internet dating but live in quite an insulated area , even went speed dating once but left before it started as the men were all 40+

I'm not that bothered but it would be nice occaisionally

singledadofthree · 22/05/2006 14:40

ouchh...and i'm 39 and have been single for ages...sounds like i'm doomed to be a born again 40 year old virgin - not very funny...altho yes, i suppose it is :o

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 14:55

You've got to get out there, both of you! What's stopping you?

nikkie · 22/05/2006 14:59

time, money, inclination

singledadofthree · 22/05/2006 15:00

ditto :o

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 15:02

Gosh you two sound like you are in same boat-- perhaps you should date each other??

bluejelly · 22/05/2006 15:16

Oh dear a deafening silence
sorry if I embarassed either of you..

But seriously you should get out more. I know it's hard to organise, and expensive, but IME it does you so much good... I didn't go out for nearly 2 years when I first had dd and used to think it would be impossible to juggle single motherhood and a new relationship.

But once I started going out again I almost kicked myself for not doing it sooner!

singledadofthree · 22/05/2006 15:18

you make it sound easy. have met a couple of mners - just about my only female contact :( - and i still behave like a teenager :o

suejonez · 22/05/2006 15:21

Perhaos they're busy swopping email addresses behind the scenes Bluejelly.

I'm 41 single and not dating, can't be arsed. Will probably change my mind in 6 months though when the novelty wears off

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