dating and the singleton hints and tips thread

[outofmyleugue]

ok so having not dated since teens and now in late 30s ,i would love you to share your hints and tips avoid me still acting like teenager !thanks all

not long enough.

it isnt so bad being alone you know, i have been separated from xh for 6m which might or might not be long compared to you, but i like it, even with 4 kids, one in a wheelchair.

it's great doing things on my terms, and that includes seeing anyone i may be interested in, because no way am i interested in rushing into anything serious after 17.5 years with the same man

you dont have to do anything you dont want to, and that applies to getting serious with anyone as well

there is nothing wrong with just having some fun, and you sound like you could do with some

I totally agree with Lou. Since splitting with my ex this time last year (we were together for nearly 3 years, not living together and I'd been a single parent for 2 years before that) I've mostly had a great time seeing whomever I want and just having fun. I've only had one occasion where I got hurt and that's because I let my guard down too soon. But it wasn't the end of the world as we weren't seeing each other that long. I'm now seeing someone and things are going very well but it's early days and I certainly don't put all my stock in it working out long term. I've learned to be on my own and I like that freedom.

Give yourself some time and enjoy being single. It's a freedom you miss when you're coupled up.

i know and i liked being single too,but as i said im a pack animal and far too romantic

but if you give yourself too fully too soon it will hurt you and panic them

i know it sounds very cliched, but fall in love with yourself first

you know it is my wedding anniversary today, it would have been 11 years had we still been together, but i dont feel in the slightest bit sad about it, because i know i am cool with being on my own

I still remember my wedding anniversary and that was not with dd's dad. I was married and got divorced and we had no kids. It would have been 16 years this year and I'm only young (honest!). No wonder it didn't work! I don't think there is any harm in remembering dates. For me it serves to remind of where I am now and where I would have been had I stayed. It's good.

just doing washing and found his t shirt i went cold ,i know hes a jerk but damn i miss him ..well do i miss him or him taking up a space in my life the later i think

piss on it and send it back to him with no postage on it

amanda i agree with what you say

And, Lou, I agree with your suggestion!

Lou, are you still seeing that same guy from a few weeks back? Read it on another thread but can remember which one .... old age catching up with me!

only casually, i saw him about a week ago, last

ooh get me! i had been really calm till this morning towards him thinking that i missed him ,any way he sent a text saying "when would be convieniant to pick up last bits " i found a draw with his stuff in !! any way ,i just lost it he had said i had issues ,,any way i sent a real snotty email listing his issues nd telling him i dont want him near the house when my kids are in as he already upset them,pressing sent made me feel so good ....no answer am i surprised cant wait till he turns up for the bag ,no way am i putting it outside he has to face me!

drawer! not draw in case you think id raffle off his "next" boxers lol

get the rant off your chest to him then leave it at that

be bigger than the impression he seems to have of you, there are better people out there who will come along, and in the meantime get to be comfortable with yourself

and never be anything but yourself ever again

(looks sternly over glasses)

thanks lou ,hes coming tonight to pick them up im gonna make sure i look totaly un bothered by him ,

And make sure you look good!!

oh yes, looking 100 times better off without him

oh yes i will and happy no red eys funny first day was in shock 2nd was inconsolable yesterday angry today bring on the next one!! [joking !! i will have a break ]yeah right!

Hello - can i join in on this thread as i'm quite recently unattached but getting out there and going on dates.

I'm eager not to make the same mistakes as I did in choosing ex partner - who cheated on me whilst I was carrying our baby (it gets worse but won't go into it on this thread

I'm 37 and have a date on Tuesday with a seemingly lovely guy (friend of a friends friend!)

Do I... get him to pick me up and drop me off at mine?
Do I... go somewhere where other people know me and I feel comfortable or a place neutral to both of us?
I don't like sit down formal meals (restaurant stylee) but I think it would be too un-date-like not to eat anything... any suggestions?

I'm really hoping he'll like me exactly as I am. Its so easy to gloss over bumpy bits of your life - just so guys don't run a mile but I really want to manage to be 100% honest with this one. He's kind of down to earth and quietly assured - artistic like me but way more successful.

Any hints and tips gladly received

the first time i met the bloke i see casually, was at the house of mutual friends, then we went to my local

the second time he picked me up from mine and dropped me back, and the third time i met him at my local, as exh was staying with me visitng the kids, and i didnt want him causing a scene, but i was dropped back to my door.

there really is no point in being anything other than yourself, imo, let him get to know you as you really are

i'd meet somewhere you can chat easily, and where you feel comfortable, and easy to get home from if you want to leave independently of him

Hi Wabbit-- good luck with your date and well done for getting out there.
If it was me I would make my own way to and from the venue then you don't have any awkward car conversations and also you can leave when you want.
How about meeting in a pub that serves food? Then it's not too formal but you won't be drinking on an empty stomach ( always fatal, IMHO)

pub gardens are always a good bet ,you can talk and its casual and you can also eat if you feel like it ..its scary out there isnt it if you want to compare notes contact me [email protected] have fun x

thanks everyone for your kind words - nice to feel I've got allies out there!

AAA - I'll add you to my contacts, thankyou

So ... update on what has been decided

Tues remember is an England game night! doh neither of us remembered before we made the date.

I've got my arm in a cast so wont be able to drive - had hoped the appt to have it taken off would come through before Tuesday

Options:

stay in my town and walk to fave pub (and be mobbed by people who've not seen me in months)

Go somewhere out of town in his car and watch footie continental (like) with tapas

As I don't like sitty downy meals this second option seems pretty perfect to me...

so we've decided he's coming to mine to pick me up - thanks for warning about uncomfortable silence, been thinking about that.

I'll let you know how it goes