feeling a bit lonely.

[glitch]

that's it really. just wanted to tell someone before i go to bed and maybe then i won't dwell on it and wake up sad.
better day tomorrow hopefully.

[glitch]

LOL, I can top that Forslady....I hug a toy tiger!! I promise, I am older than 4!!!

[foslady]

I am SOOOOO pleased I found this thread - I'm normal (or at least not as mad as I thought!!!!!!!)
I also have a little plastic model of Indiana Jones by my bed to remind me that the next man that shares my bed has to measure up to Indy (not literally though!!!)......!!!

[SoSweetAndSoCold]

Glad to hear there are other pillow huggers out there! I hate going to bed too schuckleberry, have had awful insomnia since ex-H left and always feel jittery / scared at night, especially when the DC are away with their dad. Going to bed used to be one of my favourite things! I'd also been with ex since I was 18, so it's been a huge adjustment 20 years later to be on my own.

Love your plastic Indiana Jones foslady . I totally recognise that feeling of wanting another adult to be in the house sometimes. You don't sound pathetic at all.

cremeeggthief, sorry you are feeling down. I think it does get harder in some ways once the whole adrenaline rush of the actual break up has subsided. Have a great holiday, hope the weather is glorious!

I don't have wine, but I have eaten an entire chocolate orange tonight .

Having said all this, I also have no desire to be in a relationship ever again because I am just so cynical now. So I can't have it both ways! There are positives to being single and I must embrace them, oh yes! .

[shuckleberryfinn]

Sosweet I don't ever want to live with someone again (or not for a very long time anyway) but I would like some kind of relationship. It'd be nice to have a special friend I guess.

cremeegg I know what you mean about the loneliness. I want to come round to all of your houses, drink tea and give you a hug. but I wont, I'm not a crazy stalker lady

glitch I caved too, no presents are wrapped and I polished off an entire bottle of red after work. It didn't really help, I still slept badly. I used to love my bed, it's 6 foot wide with memory foam and feather pillows and duvet. Now I look upon it as some kind of bedmonster taunting me with all of that space. I just want someone to hold me for ten minutes and then bugger off and leave me in peace.

[doughnutdolly]

Hello ladies, can I join you here on this thread? So glad to have come across so many others describing just the way I have been feeling this weekend........ It's no fun feeling lonely but at least there is some reassurance in the fact I am not the only one feeling like this! It always seems worse at the weekends. Weekdays are so busy that by evening I'm usually quite glad I only have myself to worry about once the dc's are in bed but come sat & sun its a different matter. Do you think we could share some survival tips for those 'downer' weekends? glitch - your toy tiger must give a wee bit of comfort; any more tips? One of mine is to write a list of things that need done then promptly ignore it on the day and watch all my skyplussed corries instead Any other lonely weekend survival tips????

[SoSweetAndSoCold]

Hi doughnutdolly I have just spent the day doing some crafty stuff, making cushions etc. I've not done anything like this for years so it's been really absorbing. I've also found some brilliant crafty blogs which I have been feasting on today! I have 2 days per week without the kids, which in some ways is brilliant, (I have the utmost respect for single mums who have their children full time), but it's also hard dealing with the 48 hours of silence in the house! I tend to keep the radio on or the telly on but on mute so at least I have some 'company' (god I sound like a saddo). So yes, crafty stuff, or gardening if you have one is great. I love my garden, it keeps me sane. Wandering around charity shops in search of a bargain, erm, going for a very long coffee with the Sunday papers, that type of stuff.

Sorry, my punctuation is all over the place, my eyes have gone a bit wonky after all my craftyness today!

shuckleberry, had a good laugh at 'bedmonster', that is exactly how I feel! I spend evenings delaying bed time because The Bed of Doom is waiting for me. It is cold, empty, dark and very very silent when the children aren't here. Maybe I should invest in an electric blanket? Totally agree about the no co-habitation thing again. I just cannot even imagine it and feel quite cross at the thought of having to live with some arse who leaves his pants all over the floor. Grrrr.

Hope you've all had a good Sunday x

[doughnutdolly]

Thanks for that SoSweetAndSoCold - I quite like crafty things but never seem to have the motivation to do anything about it! Can I make a suggestion to help with the 'bedmonster' issue? Absolutely get an electric blanket - I love mine, and on the nights my dc's are away I go to my cosy bed with a packet of biscuits and huge mug of tea aswell as the remote and watch loads of crap on tv until my eyes just won't stay open. Bliss. Sad, but bliss.
I like cooking and made myself and my 2 dcs a lovely sunday dinner today which I was v proud of but so wish I had a partner to share it all with too. Ahhhhh.... any more tips greatly received!

[SoSweetAndSoCold]

Right, I am going to get an electric blanket then!! That sounds wonderful doughnut. Do you have an under one or an over one? Maybe I need to get a telly in my room too, I haven't had one in there for years, but it may help. Sunday dinner sounds fab, I need to get a bit more into making proper dinners for the kids (like full on roasts etc - I do cook for them!!! ), but things like a proper roast dinner seems silly when it's 'just me and the kids', but that is such a daft outlook, there are 4 of us and I am more than capable of eating 2 adult portions . So well done for making you and your dcs a lovely roast. Hmmm, more top tips... Do you like DIY type stuff? I mean simple things like buying some cheap charity shop frames, painting them all the same colour (using a tester pot or similar) and hanging them? I've found a good blog where she does quite a lot of making shelves / shoe storage etc and it looks great and sounds quite straightforward. I think it really helps to make the house feel like your own, rather than just the house where your ex used to live but now doesn't iykwim. I repainted the living room after separating and I really like it, although it needs more things doing to it .

link here to lovely blog

[AmIthatScary]

Hope everyone's had a good weekend. My bed isn't cold and lonely tonight as DD wanted to sleep in it and she is there at the moment. She often does that, but I don't mind.

Schoolbag is packed, all our clothes are laid out for the morning, so I am having a wind down time, TV on in the background - Cuckoo with Greg Davies, and MN on the laptop.

I go through spells of being up and down. I do try and focus on all the positives, but sometimes it just gets too hard to keep trying that.

But I am not crying, am enjoying surfing the net, and am appreciative of the fact that I have a warm house - shabby yes, but I'm not up to sorting that just yet - and food and clothing, all bought and earned by me, with no help from ExH

[glitch]

I am liking the crafty and decorating ideas. It is still quite early days for me so I need to be a little cautious with money. I think after christmas I may well have things under control and go out and buy paint.

Off on holiday with DS today to the south coast. I might be lonely there but I refuse to let being single stop us / me doing things. (Haven't decided if the tiger should come with me!! )

[susiedaisy]

Well I was freezing in bed last night and so an electric blanket sounds good any recommendations on a nice one?

I can relate to the cooking thing when it was just the dc and I first, I kept thinking oh it's only me and the kids i will just do beans on toast or a bit of pasta I was also very conscious of budgeting, but after a while I thought this is silly we still need proper food even though its just three of us and so now I do cook meals most days, it just means if I do a roast chicken I now have enough left over for packed lunches and a curry.

[susiedaisy]

glitch have a lovely time

[doughnutdolly]

glitch - I am in awe of you going off on your hols just with ds - good on you. So wish I was brave enough to do that. I'm just back from a week's holiday with dc's and my mum. It was fine (kids had fab time) but I kind of resented my mum for being there. That sounds so horrible doesn't it? Will you let us know how you got on? Hope it goes well.

My blanket is an under one which has a setting you can leave on whilst in bed. I always turn it off before I go to sleep (paranoia princess) but it so lovely to crawl in to.

As for cooking, I know what you mean, originally I didn't see the point in cooking for just me and the dc's but that soon changed. I love my grub and like trying new things so I figure the dc's and I are just as entitled to lovely meals as any other family. However I am quite lucky that my dc's aren't too fussy with their food. I made a chicken, bacon and spinach pie today which is big enough for us to have tomorrow too, was yum. (although kids did spend quite a bit of time picking off all the spinach from the chicken )

I feel a bit better today, always do on a Monday although already wondering what to do with myself this coming wkend as dc's with their dad sat and sun. How's everyone else feeling?

[susiedaisy]

i have now ordered myself an electric blanket!! on offer from amazon, recommended by Which! cant wait its been bloody cold this last few nights!

[SoSweetAndSoCold]

All these holidays sound lovely, have a great time glitch! I can imagine a holiday with your mum would be a bit tricky dolly, not horrible at all!

I wouldn't leave a blanket on overnight either.

If you can be bothered susie would you mind doing a link to your new purchase?

Hope everyone well, I've had a lovely day doing crafty halloween stuff with the 2 littles while biggie at school. YAY!

[susiedaisy]

Haven't received it yet but reviews seem good so hoping its ok!

[SoSweetAndSoCold]

Oh lovely thanks, will give it a look now!

[susiedaisy]

Sorry link wasn't quite right!

Hope everyone's doing ok today!

[toysintheattic]

So glad I found this thread, am having a hard time lately. STBXH and I separated almost 1 year ago, have one DS who's almost 5. Have been coping reasonably well until recently when the loneliness has started to get to me. It tends to be the little things -- something that's happened at work, sharing a funny TV show with someone. Am going in for an operation next week as well, went in for pre-op today and really hit home how alone I am when they were asking about next of kin and who would be staying with me after the op as I have no family in this country either so really my only next of kin is STBXH. Though I don't hate him I don't like him either and don't like to ask for any help. He is looking after DS for a few days post-op but certainly don't want to ask him to stay with me for 24 hours afterwards!!

I have a dog who's fairly tolerant with cuddles and tears into his fur, and I have a FWB who I see every few weeks usually so that is good though don't want to become dependent on him to alleviate the loneliness as he could be gone anytime IYSWIM. Many up sides to NSA sex, down sides too.

No great words of advice from me obv, just posting to get some of it off my chest, it helps to know I'm not entirely alone in this.

[shuckleberryfinn]

Hey toysintheattic I love your username. Now I have lyrics stuck in my head.

I ended it with my FWB, it got hard. Mainly because he was a really good friend. Stupid huh?

I'm regretting it a little now. He has been a very good an supportive friend to me though and that was the problem, the lines between good friend and fuck were getting a bit blurry.

Right now I'm experiencing a deep and desperate need for a bloody good fuck. That alongside the need for some human contact is just proving too much for me right now. I feel like there's no end in sight, no hope almost. I mean I know that isn't true and it will pass but it's bloody hard. I just cannot face a round of ONS though so I'm obviously not that desperate ;)

[toysintheattic]

Hi shuckleberry -- hope the lyrics stuck in head is a good thing!

Not stupid at all, can totally understand, this FWB thing can be a minefield. Is relatively early days for me so will see how it goes. Am really enjoying the sex and intimacy that was totally missing in my marriage right now though! If you can't face ONS would you consider finding another FWB, just a less friendly one?

glitch best thing I did after STBXH and I separated was book a holiday for DS (and dog) and I, went to Centre Parcs so everything you'd want for a 4 year old was there, but it felt good to know that I could go away with 'us' as a unit without H, and we had a great time - hope you do too!

[AmIthatScary]

Just checking in on a Friday night to say I hope everyone has a good weekend.

[susiedaisy]

Hi, I actually have a rather nice weekend ahead, family are visiting and my dc are spending the night with their dad tonight, so I can actually have an adult evening out without children, first time for months! Am on a pretty tight budget but a night out is a night out

Hope everyone is ok.

[glitch]

Hi all, back from a really lovely holiday. It was great. Swimming most days was the best bit. Ds loved it. Drank too much wine but no-one was there to judge me :-)

Back to earth with a bump though. For the first time I was really sad when Ds went to his dads this weekend and I am in a terribly lonely mood today. I am off to walk the dog then mooch about the shops to lift my mood.

I would just like some company I think. Just someone to call and invite me over for a natter or a meet somewhere. I wonder how many proper friends I do have. Has anyone else found that? Perhaps they really do all think I am fine.