feeling a bit lonely.

[glitch]

that's it really. just wanted to tell someone before i go to bed and maybe then i won't dwell on it and wake up sad.
better day tomorrow hopefully.

[foslady]

Hi there everyone!
Glad you had a great holiday Glitch.....but I boy do I know the post hol blues! Dd's been at her dads for the full weekend - so have felt a bit iffy all weekend (but at least she's home tonight!). Managed to get myself a few Christmas presents - does anyone else have to do this? The other year my dd noticed that I hardly had any presents and she had loads and got quite upset over it, so now I have to look for (cheap!) things I could do with (replacement clothes, more face cream etc) to wrap up for me!!!!

[foslady]

I also wonder about friends - they're great (the few I have) but their husbands are all friends too and when they go out it's as couples......and I don't like to suggest too many girls nights out as it takes them away from their families.....

[susiedaisy]

Glad you had a good holiday glitch

[JayARC]

Hello all, OKish here. A really nice half term, now kind of flat. We went to visit my dad and stepmother a few hours away, which included their fireworks party. Stepmother was horrified when I told her we hadn't been invited to parties (apart from kids' ones) in years. She advised me to 'host dinner parties' regularly. Hmm. I don't know enough people to host dinner parties for, even if I wanted to. Plus it's an expensive exercise, and I am skint. They live in a different world, really, but she was only trying to help, I suppose. I am however going to the citysocialising drinks thing on the 13th.

Trying to think positively. Tis hard work! Hope you are all faring well.

[glitch]

foslady, I love the idea of giving yourself presents and I shall be buying some and doing that this year.

Jay, I need to know more about this citysocialising thing. Does having friends over for takeaway count as a dinner party?

Had a crap day yesterday, felt very sorry for myself but back on track today. I just need to meet some people and feel like I have someone to do things with and talk to I think. Any ideas?

[foslady]

Well I would have said if any of you are North Lincolnshire way on we could of met up, but if you're doing a citysocialising thing I guess not - lol!!!!! Had my sister and her family over for bonfire night - pizzas, hot dogs and baked potatoes and - ok flame me for it, I've already read the thread on AIBU! - 2 boxes of cheapie fireworks and sparklers - about £25 in total and a fab night (my kind of cheap socialising!!!)

[JayARC]

Thank you, yes, I suppose it doesn't have to be expensive. It must also be in part to do with my attitude - I feel a bit crap about my home, and need to deal with that first, really. It's a perfectly reasonable housing association property, I just haven't forgiven myself for not being able to purchase something marvellous (along with the rest of the fairytale). I had serious health problems on and off for many years, which put paid to a career...so far! Am about to start training to be a PA. I do see that wasn't my fault, objectively, I seem to still be able to give myself a really hard time about it. I am going to try to focus on making it smarter and tidier and better, making the best of what I have and all that.

Glitch, the citysocialising is a website that operates in 50 cities nationwide, it seems. They host (or members do) drinks out, curry nights, ghost walks, cinema trips, lots of stuff, that you RSVP to and if you pay the monthly subscription (minimum £9.99/month, which I think is quite steep tbh) you can attend what you like, and obviously pay on top for the drinks and curries and so on. They do have one free social for each member, and I am going to try their new members drinks night in Guildford this month. It seems to have lots of women, particularly, and apparently often appeals to newly singles, empty nesters, relocators and those who have found that all their friends have got partnered up and started having families. It seems quite young and vibrant. We shall see. Somehow I've got it into my head that it should be pretty non-threatening, though roomfuls of complete strangers have been known to seem pretty threatening to me in the past! Will of course post how it goes. Don't suppose any of you are near Guildford and want to come on the 13th do you? Long shot!

[glitch]

I only ever do cheap socialising (hence my 'split the bill' takeaway dinner parties!!)
I had a quick look at city socialising thing but I'm not particularly close to anywhere they are held (I'm in Bucks) and perhaps pre-children it might have been my thing but looking at it actually made me feel a bit middle-aged and frumpy! I have just turned 40 so have mentally turned into an old person overnight.
I am hoping for a better day today. Too many tears again yesterday.

[JayARC]

Oh dear, Glitch, sorry to hear about the tears. I hope you have a much better day today too.

I think I was born an old person, and it may be that meeting fresh and lively young things (I am 34) makes me feel more so. I am hoping some energy and joie de vivre rubs off on me, I guess. Also trying not to get my hopes up.

What are you up to today? Is there any chance you can feed yourself something particularly nice or try something cheering? I do realise these tricks don't actually solve the problem, and may just make you wish bitterly that someone else was cheering you, but sometimes it's a minor help I think. Yesterday's highlight for me was my food shop delivery [pathetic emoticon]. Hope you are OK.

[susiedaisy]

How is everyone this weekend? I'm havin a shitty weekend to be honest, I put my back out last week and its bloody painful and haven't seen a soul yesterday or today just the kids for company and being spaced out on pain killers

[inkonapin]

Hi, can I join the lonely club, please? Newly single, feel bereft and lost. Don't know what to do with myself :(

[susiedaisy]

Hi ink

[toysintheattic]

Hi susie my sympathies, I had an operation last week so am feeling much the same, pretty lonely and isolated. I'm living on the ipad right now, emailing friends and MNing a lot! Hope you're feeling better this week.

[susiedaisy]

Thanks toy, I have been off work with various health probs at the moment and am really missing the interaction with my work colleagues, didn't realise how much until I have been stuck at home on my own for a while, not being very mobile because of my back also means that having a wander around the shops is out as well, so feeling very sorry for myself right now!

Hope everyone is doing ok

[susiedaisy]

Hope you are ok toy, will you have to be at home long recuperating?

[JayARC]

Hello to you all this evening. I went to the citysocialising thing last night, which was nice, actually. Friendly, a real mix of people and ages, and a tonic. I can't really afford to pay the subscription, plus the nights out, babysitter and so on...but I could think about it at some point. And I could have drunk soft drinks last night, but kind of thought sod it, I never go anywhere and I'm damn well going to have a couple of drinks! At least it reminded me that there is a world out there. I do forget that.

How are you doing Glitch? And all the others? Sorry to find so many with the same problem, really. It's horrid.

[glitch]

Hello Ink, how is your week going? Are you managing to get out and talk to people?

Susie, hope your week is a bit better for you. Being a SAHM I know how tough it is to be at home all day, everyday with no-one to talk to. When do you think you can get back to work?

Toy, sounds like you are in a similar situation too. How long are you stuck at home for? Thank goodness for computers

Jay, well done you for getting out to the citysocialising thing. I am now in awe of your braveness

I am having a better week. No tears so far but I have been doing more running which always helps me. I had a busy weekend with DS and I have made plans so my weekend without him is full. Forward planning is my friend I think. I have also booked a few days away with a friend between Christmas and New Year so I have that to look forward to rather than dreading the time when DS is away.

[AmIthatScary]

Jay Am glad you enjoyed the citysocialising thing. Part of my problem is I live in a relatively small town, and the nearest of these things is far enough away to make it difficult for me to go and enjoy.

DD and I went out for lunch today (schools on INSET) which was nice, and we are meeting GPs for lunch tomorrow. Good to have organised something, saves moping around feeling sorry for myself.

Glad others are bearing up, nearly the weekend and we always have MN

[SpiderManMum]

Hi, hope that you don't mind another joining the ranks? I'm 38 with 1 DS. My 'DH' walked out back in March, completely out of the blue so have spent most of this year in a state of shock and utter disbelief.

I still haven't adjusted to the loneliness and just feel a bit lost tbh. Think I've also exhausted the patience and sympathy of my close friends who are just keen for me to move on and get over it. I know I should be getting out and doing 'stuff' it's just I don't know what stuff to do or have lots of money to do it with!

Anyway, it would be lovely to have some online friends who know how it feels. I'm in Herts so anyone near (ish) that fancies a coffee, I'm your girl

[AmIthatScary]

Will have to be a virtual coffee, as I am too far away, but hopefully those of us on this thread still have both patience and sympathy to spare. I would certainly never say to move on and get over it

It's still quite early days for you, so am sure you are still going through the long readjusting phase. It doesn't miraculously become great, but you do eventually start to recognise the few positives as well as the negatives.

I haven't had a drink this week, which has helped me, although have still had a few teary moments. Lots of good ones as well, though

and this is a great thread to come on and vent whenever you need to

[StellaBrillante]

Hi, can I too join your thread? I'm 38 with a 13 yo DS who is away on a school trip until tomorrow. Just me in the house... Ironic that up until 3-4 years ago, when DS was much younger, I still managed to do some dating once in a while even though it was a logistic nightmare to organise childcare (alway exchanging favours with friends). Now that DS is older and I have much more flexibility, there is nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am feeling very sorry for myself as when the trip was organised, it crossed my mind that maybe (just maybe) I'd be seeing somebody by then and wouldn't it be the perfect opportunity to have some uninterrupted adult time?
I don't want to live with anyone and I am not even sure I want a serious relationship, but just like many of you ladies I really miss some adult company and dating... x

[AmIthatScary]

Stella, hello!!!

I am still hoping that my Christmas might have some action

Going on the last 8 years tho, unlikely

[susiedaisy]

Go just dropping in to say hi hope everyone is ok

[toysintheattic]

Hi all, hope the weekend has been OK for everyone. I almost back to normal, back to work next week. In the throes of planning DS' 5th birthday party so that's keeping me busy.

[foslady]

Hi there everyone - me again! Hope you're all ok. My dsis took my dd for the shopping trip. Dsis came back laughing her head off - according to dd I like to wear button up to the neck granny cardi's and 'mum' jewellery whilst I'm doing jigsaws all winter!!!! Thankfully dsis put her right!!!!