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Lone parents

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Facing pregnancy alone?

999 replies

thedogsrolex · 12/07/2012 18:30

There seem to be quite a few threads lately posted by women facing pregnancy alone for whatever reason. I was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to have one ongoing thread for support and advice...what do you think? I know it would have helped me way back when I had dd? (apologies if there is already one, I haven't come across it).

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xmasevebundle · 19/08/2012 23:13

notgeoff The heat is the devil. I settle down get comfy then and hour later, i wake up in a steam room. Back to sqaure 1.

I said i wanted my hair shaved a days ago its thick and halfway down my back!!

Your bath and book seems lovely :) had a bubble bath earlier with a face mask put it on my bump. He felt left out :)

skye what was this diet Envy

I cant wait until i walk into a shop and buy a size 10 or 12

well done for the weight loss, i love weddings [grins]

skyebluesapphire · 19/08/2012 23:15

It's the twunt diet. It's simple, your H walks out, your appetite vanishes, you exist on a banana a day and the pounds drop off...

See, he did me one favour!

xmasevebundle · 19/08/2012 23:28

SorryBlush

That is a plus!!

skyebluesapphire · 19/08/2012 23:37

LOL. It's the only decent thing to come out of it, apart from me snd DD now being so close.

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 01:15

I wish every women on this fourm could find her charming tomorrow for swaps for the ex's.

I think women are stronger than men in the long run when there 40+ they understand life. While we are like hello we did that 20 or less years ago LOL

I can only think his sperm was the only good thing so should i be pissed of that much with him the answer is still yes

Cant sleep too hot, uncomfy,heartburn, getting kicked and punched. I feel i could scream!!!!!

NotGeoffVader · 20/08/2012 09:52

Xmaseve Gaviscon is your friend here for heartburn. I got it on prescription when I was pregnant. Gaviscon Advance - it worked really well.

I have the fans blasting on full at the moment, and all the windows and internal doors open. Not leaving the front door open as old kitty might decide to make a break for it, or next doors' might try to come in!

Anyway, if you don't lose baby weight immediately, I assure you it'll drop off once they start crawling/walking as you'll be chasing them all over the place.

It's a bit cooler today, so how is everyone?

crackcrackcrak · 20/08/2012 11:07

I dunno how to explain who I was before he he - SBNB. Name change often now because exp liked to stalk me on mn. Like the thought police kind of thing Wink

Booked in to see gp about going on mar leave couple of weeks early - doubt he will say no he was pretty horrified last time I told him what has gone in and it's much worse now Sad
At least I am pg and I can go in leave!
Going to get dd1 to the health visitor this week to get some back up about something exp is axe grinding over-I have a thread in that too. Involves diaper removal (google conscious)

Wish exp would fuck off back to work then I could relax again. Not that this poor baby is going through anything like dd1 did in the womb but still - I would just like to spend the rest of the pg hanging out with my gorgeous child, making the most of her last days as an only child and sorting out baby things. There is that - dd loves choosing things for the baby and chats to anyone about her new sister - so glad she is happy Smile

datingthedevil · 20/08/2012 12:14

Hiya,

How are you all doing today?

Have any of you had any counselling about your situations?
Where are you getting support from?

I have loads of people telling me what a bastard he is and how I should be pleased to be rid of him, but no one seems to recognise that I'm still heartbroken and devastated and feel completely alone.

Thank you all for being there

Do you think we should start a closed facebook group so we can all meet and chat?

Xxxxxxxxxx

NotGeoffVader · 20/08/2012 12:21

Hi Dating - I am not a lone parent but chat on here to Pickles and Skye a fair bit.
I think some folks on here are getting counselling.
The FB group sounds like a good idea as long as but I think you might want to see if you can get some consellors/people who've had successful counselling in it.... to ensure that there is an 'official' type of hand-holding.

Sorry if I skim-read your post but how long is it since your relationship finished? I think it's quite natural to have a 'mourning' period. To think about how things might have been, to be stunned with the enormity of it all...
friends of mine have been there, and, are now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you. :)

Pickles77 · 20/08/2012 12:27

Hi dating i am on antids and have counselling too. It's been nearly 3 months for me and with the help of several threads, this one too I've started turning a corner in the last few weeks.
I mourn occasionally and wobble but I accept now I always will. I'm getting stronger.
It's little baby steps, tiny tiny things. I think aswell you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone.
I now go to a local sure start centre, I walk my dog for hours. I'm starting to rebuild
my life.
It's not easy, but please talk to people Smile I know just how you feel.
Just remember anything is possible Smile

skyebluesapphire · 20/08/2012 12:46

Hi all. pickles glad to hear you feel you have turned a corner - I have been feeling the same too. dating Im not pregnant but STBXH walked out on me right out of the blue. I have been on anti d's and having counselling to come to terms with it all. Just ask away if you have any questions on it.

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 12:59

notgeoff It makes me sick, i cant stomach it!! Its yukky, i did sleep well woke up in a star shape i though Hmm

Its baking where i live dont help my mum has leather sofa's!!!

Was ment to be meeting my friend today, i dont get on with her boyfriend he thinks dead baby jokea are funny? Shes ditched me so fuck it!! Going cinema with my friend wednesday to watch the wedding video, very excited!!!!

dating the devil Ive had no help i try and take in on myself isnt the best idea. I left him so i guess im part to blame but it was over already.

I do have support from my family but we argue alot so i keep myself to myself. I watch alot of T.V programmes :)

It is hard at first, i use to cry all the time!! It was shit to be honest. Even him telling me hes more happier than ever and going for a new career.

But its his loss you will see that in a few months, i promise you.

Pickles77 · 20/08/2012 13:05

We all sound like we're doing well today Grin is it the weather?
You feeling better Skye and Geoff?

NotGeoffVader · 20/08/2012 13:35

Xmas you're thinking of the liquid stuff? The 'advance' stuff I got was in chewable tablets. Much easier! :)

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 13:59

Yeah it is liquid. I will go to the doctors!! :)

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 15:50

Sat watching jeremy kyle makes my life seem so much better lol. Got an urge for baileys the drink.. Feel i could cry i can even taste it on my buds ohhhh :(

NotGeoffVader · 20/08/2012 20:06

Ha ha - yes Jeremy Kyle will make you feel much better. I can't understand the people that go on that - I don't understand how they can live the lifestyles they do, how they can all shag each other, let alone fancy each other (have you SEEN their teeth???), and how they can go on TV and humiliate themselves and their families by being there. I would love to seal the doors shut and let a couple of tigers loose.

Thanks to those that asked - had an ok day - back still sore/itchy but painkillers have taken the edge off it.
I managed to get to the library today (didn't go the other day in the end) and popped into the charity shop but nothing useful in there. Just catching up on a couple of threads on here.

Could you try iced coffee, Xmas, I know it's not quite the same but if you made it milky and sweet, it might hit the spot.

Now am sitting here, reading threads, listening to DH chatting to DD, trying to eavesdrop on my neighbours who are chatting outside and wondering whether to have pie or omelette with chips tonight.
Off to the shops tomorrow to get some new cupboards for our lounge to partition a bit off into a study. We can then move the PC out of the bedroom and partition off a bit of the room for DD.

DD has just hit her toy bear over the head with some crayons. Apparently this helps him to stop crying (!). Hopefully she will tire herself out soon. :)

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 20:20

notgeoff Me and my ex yet again was out shopping in bouremouth and i saw a man from the show. I wet myself with laughter :$ then had a fag to calm myself down. He was one with major buck teeth,got black hair, wish i new his name to send you a link.

I might try that, i dont even no where to get ice coffee from expect starbucks and cafe nero? Nero's a tad cheaper :)

I think your in the perfect place at the moment, my next door neighbours are chinese who have an english father. His wife talks cantanse? sorry i cant spell it :$ to her 2 children and he dont understand a word. But every morning its rwyannnnnnnnnn!! Her DS.

Get you with THE study Envy

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 20:22

Type in Youtube. Jeremy kyle- buck teeth. Its the first video. Can you see why i laughed so much??? I looked TWICE.

Pickles77 · 20/08/2012 20:54

Hi all, glad everyone is okay.
That about the teddy bear has really made me smile after a traumatic antenatal class, thank you notgeoffs dd Grin

crackcrackcrak · 20/08/2012 22:17

I had counselling through work for 8 hours but I'm asking gp for that it CBT this week because I am probably going mental and I'm not risking mess.
The work counsellor was v helpful but I feel like I need another 100 hours!

PollyIndia · 20/08/2012 22:27

Thanks xmasevebundle and notgeoffvader. It was green man. It rained non stop until saturday lunchtime then the sun came out but the mud stayed very deep. It was a bit of a challenge in bits just because you couldn't really sit down and it was quite hard to walk in wellies, but I listened to lots of music, had good food, got to dance to metronomy doing my favourite 2 songs of theirs (then got told to take it easy by some elderly onlookers probably worried I was about to faceplant in the mud!), sat by the bonfire and chatted to randoms and got totally stuck in the mud and had to be pushed out. In the car I should add, not in my wellies!
It was loads of fun but I have been knackered today and yesterday. Guess it just takes a bit longer to get over things when you are hugely pregnant.

Pickles, why was the ante-natal class rubbish? I have to confess, I have totally wimped out on ante natal classes. Can't be bothered really and also can't face all the couples. I am being crap I know.
I've done hypnobirthing though and I'll do a breastfeeding class.

Are any other FTMs starting to feel a bit nervous? I am due in 5 weeks, and I've genuinely loved being pregnant, but starting to feel a bit wobbly about being a mum and all the responsibility being with me.

Is that normal??

PollyIndia · 20/08/2012 22:31

Datingthedevil, I am sorry to read how down you still are. My situation is a bit different as my baby's father was an ex already - I didn't expect him to absolutely want nothing to do with us, but that's what's happened.

I have also heard good things about CBT - much better than psychotherapy my sister says - she works in this field.

It's just hard dealing with normal end of relationship grief when you also have pregnancy and the hormones to deal with. But I know we can all do the pregnancy and baby bit, despite the wobbles. In fact, I've been told that in some ways it might be easier to do it alone, as if the relationship isn't the right one, then your partner can be source of additional stress rather than a support. A few friends have told me they are in that position.

xmasevebundle · 20/08/2012 23:30

polly sounds like you had a great time :)

Im worrying now and i have 18 weeks left lol, i guess its sooner the time you start to panic how much you gave up am i even ready to become a mum?

I do that daily, some day i wake up and think im a size 10 but i look into the mirror and it hits me!!

I am hands on person so when hes born he best be ready for some quick nappy changing.

Im sure you will do great :)

mumschat · 21/08/2012 00:44

That is so true u wont have feelings to spare for anyone else just ur little baby. Even tho i was wit my partner at the beginning i only had interest in my baby and u wont have to share them wit anyone else. I did all night feeds and everything by myself and although u wud be exhausted for the first few weeks its all worth as i felt i bonded wit her so much as there was no one else around. Good luck wit ur baby and stay strong :-)