The sofa Vs The bookshelf

[NOmeansNO]

the thread for those in a relation. or not really wanting one as they enjoy the single life too much.

bertie-I can ask my mum to babysit now and then but to be honest at the mo id rather save that for girls nights out, unless there is someone i find really interesting

betty - lol @ really interesting giving you a reason.

i have finally heard from eccentric. and only after i text him first.

remember i was complaining about disliking constant attention and checking in with phones.eccentric is extreme opposite.

mr depp has text me to thank me , told him he can crash at mine anytime he's up north again and i dont have dc. this could be a handy bookshelf thing.

where are the sofa ladies. none of them in tonight?

bertie - how long since you split with ex who kept you away from friends?

NmN - decided I was leaving for definite in Sept 09, actually left in the December. So 10.5 months until I got together with DP/bf. Are you thinking it doesn't sound very long on my own? Because I had that thought as well which is why we decided to take things really slowly.

bertie - no, just asking .

but... you i do notice repetition in you asking your dp if he loves you. and being quite centered around this. does it actually matter. if he does it is nice. but afterall.... if he doesn't you CANNOT do anything to make him feel that way.

also i dont think you should never ask someone if they love you in my book. you should appreciate it when they say it. it is nice to hear it from someone.
in all honestly if somoene does have great feelings for you, you will know without being told. if you dont know if they love you, and you need to ask then either they aren't showing the signs of someone who does have serious feeling(i loathe to use the word love), or you are being made very insecure in the relationship. neither of which are really great things in a relationship.

just food for thought. i'm not saying he doesn't love you. but maybe if you weren't so centered around him confirming how he feels, you would really know when he says it, he really means it as its off his own back.

But I agree with all that NmN - I think you have the wrong end of the stick here. I don't know where you have got the idea about repetition, since I only asked him once, and agonised about whether to, and felt awful immediately afterwards. And it didn't really help, because the reason I was asking didn't go away (ie the loss of those little signs which made me sure before, whether he said it or not).

I'm still not really sure what made him withdraw before, because when I mentioned it he was totally surprised that I had connected all these incidents/signs, some of which he thought were completely unrelated, some of which he hadn't even noticed. I expect it probably was something to do with my behaviour/the fact I was stressed out in general, which probably in turn heightened it. But then afterwards we were both glad we'd had the talk and so I feel completely reassured now - like it was before. I really think it was nothing more than an end-of-honeymoon-period blip. :)

Cannot believe my 11 days holiday is nearly up . Had a nice couple of days, drove home last night so nothing wild happening. I do try and avoid wild nowadays!

Will be back at work tomorrow so more time to catch up .

Betty - yes it's me! Am a lot quieter these days.

adamschic - I've been loviing the holidays too. The long weekend has been wonderful, back to work tomorrow, hey ho.

After saying that things had gone quiet on the man front, I was emailed by a nice younger bloke on OKC, been chatting a bit.

He's getting a bit forward (nothing wrong with a pervy chat and a bit flirt but this is a bit previous considering we've just started chatting), which I've pulled him up on, so he's backed off but...am I right to think hmmm?

I suppose what I mean is, AIBU to feel a bit uneasy? It's coming across a bit pushy.

haven't caught up but just to say I have friend requested you nmn
I'm LOVING the bag on your profile pic (you look just like I imagined) I am black and white photo in the hope of appearing less wrinkly
Hi Janos/flip

ah caught up now
go with your instincts flip if it feels weird it probably is
monty sorry did not see you'd pm'd me, but I found nmn
betty I am on monty's, black and white, miserable looking pic but nice hair, friend me?
bertie great advice from dtm and others, hope you feel a bit better now! just remember you're NOT crap!

Hi ninah, how are you?

Am losing track of who's who here, but that's my own fault :)

Mr pushy seems to have 'pushed off' anyway after I asserted myself. It's disappointing of course when someone initially seems like a good sort but no loss.

better they push off at the beginning than 6 months down the line when you start to get keen on them ..
I'm fine thanks! bit gutted the hols are coming to an end tho

Too true ninah. I suspect from some of his comments he had some sort of 'MILF' thing going on and tbh if thats his attitude he can go elsewhere.

I'm loving the holidays too, not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Have a night out with workmates on Friday tho so looking forward to that. Pub Quiz so should be a good laugh.

bertie - must have got my wires crossed. i thought you had asked for reassurances more than once.

ninah - i was just gonna ask who had invited me as i knew it was one of you lot your really pretty

flip - work night out sounds fun. if mr pushy is being pushy now, imagine how much worse it would get. maybe good he is backing off. and milf is weird. really weird.

oh and tonight i am going to submit a paper for my coursework, then research and purchase my stuff for kiwi's box to send out to afghan. idea welcome! link me to stuff. lol

NMN - I don't mean he was seeing someone else, just that from the way he was talking he had some sort of MILF fantasy in his head. He started going on about what he was going to do to me, at which point I invited him to mind his manners.

Also, what box are you sending to Afghanistan?

i think i said it wrong. i guessed it was you he was thinking was MILF. i think men who have a thing for that a bit weird.
i am sending kiwi (blast from past again) a shoe box of bits and pieces. nothing of great expense. biscuits, pack of cards, etc. type of thing. a friend based box. nothing dodgy. he contacted me again just before he went and asked if i would write to him. he's never had anyone write to him on his tours before(think he's done 7 or 8 in his time). He usually finds it easier to just shut off and keep his head down. but one of his superiors suggested he have someone write to him this time. i offered i would send him a box too. I have sent to ebluey things. no reply. but i am not expecting one. i've just to send a kind of run down of daily stuff. random stories of stubbing toes and daft jokes. just things to distract. I have sent him a picture of me stroking a goat was one of them .

we signed off when he left with him saying he would see me in 6 months to thank me for whatever he receives.

i feel like i am doing my bit for charity/country. lol

blimey, thanks nmn
you are too, in fact you look like a friend of mine from the old days with ex, she was gorgeous and lovely and a really good laugh
nice idea for kiwi, the goat pic is lovely if it's the fb one, will put a smile on his face. Cd you put in a cd compilation maybe? paperback?
I don't get the milf thing, either.

not gonna do cd. as doubtful he will get much chance to access something to play it on. As for books. i was thinking about this comes with paper and all. lol

oh and thanks ninah.

ninah-have sent you a friend request on fb :)

flip-i would go with your gut feeling over that too, im all for a bit of flirty texts but not anything more when you havent met that person before!

adams-end of the nice short weeks here too :( not happy to get back to 5 day weeks again!

Had a lovely day at the beach with a friends and our kids today, and am a bit pink and feeling a little hot. Was quite windy so didnt really feel the heat oops!

And I think I might have a date sat night eek now need to think of a name to give him! Its a new one btw not anyone ive mentioned before

yeah the tops of my thighs are all burnt betty (as well as scratched from gardening in shorts)
will reply fb
and it's only a 4 day week this one at least, hurray!
paper plane book likey

hey all,

how are we doing today?

nmn - ref the box, in DP's latest 2 he's had a packet of 'common dunkers' aka hob knobs and jammy dodgers (from DS) and a packet of 'posh dunkers' ie the tesco finests oat and flap jack cookies for when moral is really down. also sent out peanuts, jelly sweets, erm... oh DS sent him 4 soldiers (2 goddies and 2 badies) as his crew is 4 on the little boat, a car, and a happy toy monkey thingy. (all from the boy I might add so they had something to play with lol) This time thou he's asked for some reading stuff, also sending out 4 little packs of the cereals things as well as he doesn't get the proper food on his little boat. oh and am also sending him a packet of kenko as they do it in pouches so posh coffee to go with his posh dunkers & the lads will be happy for a while - they usually all play swops/shares least his do, so I think all the girls send one each & they mix/match. DP's lucky to get 3/4 boxes from people, did offer one of the other lads as well to send one out but apparently they all have folk sending stuff out. Oh I know - how about a naughty joke book - or a few print outs of naughty jokes?

flip - :o :o milf & mind his manners. lol. good on ya thou, keep him in check, your still a lady after all. oh and keep mr flip at arm's lenght I think. no one likes a pushy one.

bertie - tbh it does sound like the end of the honeymoon blip which is always a tricky time to get around. all will be fine thou i'm sure.

ninah - hey how's you?

adam - bad times about returning to work again.

guess now my cake's out the oven i'd better do some ironing damn the chores that insist on being done. lol.

i never had any days off. just the friday of easter. took the double time.

where did you meet your date betty?

i avoid the sun. i have learnt it doesn't agree with me. i will just keep tights and legging on thenk you very much