40+ Lone parents

[WillIEverBeASizeTen]

I'm 49 and a lone parent (13yo and 20yo) am I in the minority on Mumsnet? It appears alot of the LP's here are a lot younger!

Hi all,

4nomore - my family is also in 2 batches eldest ds 25, dd 23 that marriage broke up (serial cheater) then youngest ds is 3 - I broke up with DP i - but we are all ok. I am 47.

I do agree with you all its the relentless decision making that tires me out at times! I had to make a decision on my car a few days ago do I spend the £400 required to get it fixed or be stuffed without a car. I just thought I really can not make another decision - fortunately by lovely BIL stepped in and sorted everything out for me - how sweet :O).

I need a lovely BIL

How did everyone cope with Christmas and New Year? I hope that for all you LP's out there it ended up being easier than expected.
Thank you gettingeasier for your kind words and sorry that I did not respond before. Christmas was hectic - lots of changes going on with ds starting full-time at school and dd3 starting at nursery.
Back at work only to find out my department is closing and we are all being made redundant. Hey ho! These things happen. Have several months though before axe so networking here I come... would love to hear how others manage with benefits/working etc. Don't want to claim, would prefer to try and struggle through and freelance when I can, but unsure what that will mean for tax credits. If anyone has any advice/experience of this, would really like to hear about it.
I hate bin nights... cleaning everyday... having to make all the decisions myself and feeling that I can't hide and break down (or even watch a film all the way through)...

Hi Pigtails - this was my first Christmas as a LP - it all actually went ok. My sister had us all stay at her (large) house for the whole christmas period. I really found NYE hard - and felt very sad. But its all over now - I have done the first christmas and my birthday without XP - I survived and was happy!!! I was made redundant last year - I was on JSA but after I split with partner I am now on Income Support. I receive Child Tax Credit and Child Benefit. I am in rented house so the majority of the rent is paid by Housing Benefit - also majority of Council Tax is paid. As my eldest son lives with us and works full time - his money is taking into consideration when calculating HB and CT. I do receive a small amount of money from XP - I have to be very carefull with money and would really like to work again - I have always worked full time and really miss it! I agree with you about the bins - and the also being strong - constantly!

Can I join this thread too?

Am 47 with 3DCs 14, 12, 7. Been on my own for nearly 2.5 years. Finding the fact that it ALL falls to me hard.

Biggest issue, dealing with my own feelings while trying to support 3 very distressed children and massively overcompensating for the fact that their dad has changed beyond recognition and has been pretty much emotionally unavailable since the split.

Things to be proud of: getting a job after 16 years out of employment, bought our lovely new home (including managing extensive repair work), found a fantastic psychotherapist and finally making some progress, putting notes through neighbours doors to invite them in for a drink (lots came!), children doing really well at school in spite of what they have gone through.

Work in progress: learning to put my needs higher up on the agenda, learning that I don't have to be nice all the time (especially to ex who just takes the piss advantage), dealing with the resentment, finding a way to relate to 'new' woman who seems to think we can remain friends, finding a way to earn more money as currently living on a quarter of our previous income.

hello..im 47 and been a single parent all the way through...i broke up with her dad before she was born... he had contact with her until she was 11..but he had a son then with a new partner...so he has not wanted much to do with his daughter.. and stopped paying for her...she is now 16

hi, I would love to post on this thread. I'm 46, DS aged 6 and a prat of an ex who is being a f...ing nightmare as we start to go through divorce. Throw in the manipulative OW, the weak ex inlaws, my odd family, strange friends and yes I really could do with some great support here.

I'm on my own this weekend trying to complete tax return and tidy up a bit! Hooray!

hi, im 41 and have a 12 yr old DD. i have an 22 yr old ds in heaven.

Hi- i am back!! I was on here quite alot some time ago when i first split up from my husband- ( early last year). I am a sahm- i am 44 and have 2 dc- dd, 10 and ds, 8. This last year has been very difficult but am now seeing light at the end of the tunnel- divorce is on its way a nd financial stuff is being sorted. My soon to be ex husband is a very difficult man and made life very horrible for me and the children. He is still horrible to me but he does see the children every other weekend and he does pay me some money.
I would love to have some support from you lovely people on here- and likewise, if i can support any of you that would be great too.

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post 2

44, 4 DC 11,10,8,6 (bit squished together) LP for 18 months after domestic abuse and to children too !!!!!!! Still trying to get to the other side of the formalities but soooo much better on my own!

Gosh I fit in really nicely with a similar family too!
Im 41 with 5 DC and a huge gap also... Eldest DC's are 19, 17 and 14 baby is 9 months been a single parent 1 year and really struggling with the hurt and bitterness. Not pretty is it

Can I ask, am I the only one finding lone parenting harder now my eldest is back from Uni and job hunting, then when he was younger. My youngest is off to Uni next month and so he is sorted for the next 3 years. But my eldest is struggling being back home after Uni, hasn't a job and is struggling to find one; learning to drive and once he eventually gets a car this might be easier. He has special needs which doesn't help. But I worry so much for his future and being a very long time LP have no support...I had hoped things would be get easier as they entered adulthood, but it is so hard.
Do others find this?

45 with dcs aged 7 and 4. Currently a 'lonely' parent as I fight through the financial battles... :(

Is this thread still alive - it has Zombie alert!

Just saw this thread.

44 this year. LP with 2 teenagers

Feeling lonely at times although getting rid of exh was best thing I've done in years.

It's an oldish thread, but could be revived hopefully?!

I'm 45, nearly 46 with an 18month old DS. On my own from the start but he's a blessing and luckily (so far) is an easy child.

I find that most single mums in their 40s have older kids than mine. I always feel like an old gimmer at playgroups etc, though I've not been mistaken for his grandmother yet!

41 with 2....DD...11 and DS..5 x

44 with 4 dc ages 19, 15, 3 & 2. Dh left in November 2013. 2nd failed marriage!

53! With dd 16. There is lots of us about. 2nd divorce....can't see me going back for another go...

Just turned 50, with one DD nearly 14. No contact with her father after she was 3 months old. I stayed single till she was 7, was with x partner till 2 weeks ago. Here we go again; think I'll be giving men a miss for a while.

I'm so happy you started this thread, was starting to also think I was the only 'old' lp on mn.
I'm 41 and have two children 18 years and almost 10 months.

Im 53....4 children--youngest nearly 16y ..eldest 30....and going to be a 'Nanny' in September! :))

I am 45, lp of DS 6yrs and DD 10yrs been separated for 18 months and its been a battlefield. Ex FW has OW. Posted on here ages ago whether he was having an affair and amazingly after I called it day on the marriage she came out of the woodwork about 3 months later, I found out from joint bank statements for bills for swanky v expensive hotels that I had been taken to(no imagination have they!!!) So year on from that I still feel like I haven't really moved on although I have accomplished a lot. I know its not the be all but I have no partner and haven't been out on a proper date for a long time. So any tips on survival, how to meet people, money and time saving tips would be grateful as feel like I have no energy left for me, feel guilty about wanting lots of things for me. I would just love to go off somewhere for a week and chill out but would feel awful about leaving DC's behind and actually putting me first for a change. x