Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 30)

[lilacisinlove]

Yay! I did it again!

Tits if he's going to do that then he'll only be able to see the kids out of your house then, won't he... or do you have free access to his home/ computer etc? Fair's fair. for you.

I quite often have convos like that with ex, Flame, but we've been apart for 3 years now, so it's easier to forget the bad bits!

Well, POF has just given me my decision. I was on/off anyway, and he has just asked me to text him a picture of myself. He is on my fb. There are pics up from a week ago. Therefore he either wants something half dressed which ain't happening, or he is just odd. Just look through photos.

Oh yes, it is one of those times when I get the good bits and remember that being apart is good because I now ONLY get those and don't have to deal with the crap of living together/being together.

XH has his own log in for my laptop, he has no password on it as it is MY laptop. Mine is all locked down and I use Carrot's password as I know it is something XH would never guess.

Exactly! I have a password on my login, ex has his own login which I know the password to, but that's because all my computer logins are passworded, as it stops DS's silly mates using the computer without supervision!

I've had to lock my pc with exp still being here.

he's a snooper.

Corsets - are you talking about queens street shops? hellfire , etc. I am a regular . did you know those steel corsets they do for £50 are the ones from corset boulevard on ebay which are about £20-30. plus on ebay you can get bigger sizes. I struggle to get bigger than a 14 in glasgow shops. You can get up to a 22+ online version. boulevard have a sale on now too. freebies if you spend over £45.

beachbum - em.. i choose between him and someone else a long time ago as he was always too busy to have an actual relationship. we have remained friends. but he will no longer meet with me unless in public. he feels it is wrong to sleep with somene unless in relationship. and if we aren't in public.. we end up naked. what is with these guys who have moral

I dunno! Bloody girls the lot of them.

Download is chatting again, which is good. He is lacking in morals.

Can any of you lovely ladies help me out here?

PM has changed his okc. (i know,i know...I'm an anonymous snooper! i shall chastise myself! ) on the bit that says 'the 6 things i could never do without' to.... 'I feel I ought to leave the last three for stuff like oxygen, water and my friend xxx who sent me a copy of .'

NMN, i painted some of the murals in hellfire queens street. I miss lovely mikael and his doggies. :) how annoying that just as i move away from Glasgow, I meet some lovely women on the internets, who have great real life friend potental!

He wont be coming in the house any more, he sees the kids once a week and takes them out, he was coming over every Monday so I could do my amateur dramatics group but my Dad i going to take over so I don;t have to worry. He has become all stalkerish since we split up, one of his colleagues said until I deleted him from my facebook he could obsessively check it every few minutes and I have good reason to believe he was in my underwear draw.

I'm really hoping he moves out the area when his lease is up on his bedsit in July. I hate having to hide everything and constantly worry about covering my tracks.

How long ago did you move, Snape?
Is Hellfire the one with pictures of Beetlejuice etc in it? Sorry, wasn't looking at shop names, more looking in shop windows and going 'yay, shops that cater for meeeee!'

I'm visting down your way next week, but where Dad lives, the transport links are crap and we're not down for very long, otherwise I'd try and arrange to come and meet you. Maybe in the summer holidays?

Sorry lilac, I have no idea, but I'm sorry, it makes me when a parent starts messing their kids around in order to get at their ex. Can't she see that as hard as it is on TLOML, it must be even harder on his DD

Oh Tits that's rubbish, I'm glad you're banning him from the house. I take it you finished with him and he's not really let go? Is he likely to move away? Fingers crossed that he does.

oh god titsalina. glad that your dad can help you out though.

Period pains from hell. Hoping dd2 Will get sleepy soon.

Yes I finished with him and he took it really hard. It is likely that he will move away far enough to be out of my hair but close enough to see the children, his family live about an hour away so he will probably go down there. My Dad is a saint, he is everything a Dad should be I am very lucky to have him. :)

Flame period pains suck, are you on the pill or something that you could change to make them less painful in future? I used to have periods from hell until I had a coil fitted and now I don't have them at all. :o

Lilac I know that to you he the most wonderful thing since sliced bread but to his ex clearly he isn't.

Maybe try mediation before going down the court route?

I can understand her reservations about taking a 2 year old over 200 miles away tbh but don't agree with her restricting access of course and changing plans etc.

It's probably all too fresh for her tbh. What were the circumstances of their split?

Also I know you want to help and support him but it's probably best to take a back seat at first.

Personally I would be quite wary of a man who split when a child was so young.

JMHO

Sorry my post sounded a bit harsh - that wasn't the intention.

I'm rather cynical unfortunately

Tits :( glad your not letting him in the house anymore, bloody awful that he did that but am glad your dad can help you out on mondays. I wish i had someone around who would regulary do that for me, there are several courses id love to do.. but getting anyone to babysit regulary just doesnt happen.

Lilac.. hmm. i dont know. maybe sin is right and its just too fresh for her? esp when you consider the distance and age of the child. My DD was only 3 and her dad didnt see her for a while, and tbh didnt have that great a relationship to start with. He started with day times only, regulary. Until i was comftable with that, and DD was and he was. He was tough.. he had to come to us ( also a distance) and build the relationship and trust up and bit. After about 6 months we moved to one overnight.. and now shes goes 2 nights.. and the occassional week in the holidays. So - maybe its something that needs to be started small?

Of course restricting access and changing plans isnt good at all though.

snape- any TM? and how sweet, abit totally infuriating about what PM put!!

So, i hadnt replied to boatmans texts... he send one quite pornographic one last night.. and i did reply.. ( more a laughing at him thing.. to see what he would say next.. i know, awful) anyway.. he replied saying he 'suddenly likes me a whole lot again'
i said,' what, you didnt like me before'
and he said ' its a grey area. i prefere it when you talk dirty'

yep.
i didnt repsond and have blocked and deleted.. but not before a text requesting me in my underwear came though.. seriously...!!!

rejoined POF, there were a few new poeople on there...

sorry lilac - just re read your thing.
Seems like a set patern needs to be officially set and stuck to.

Seems like because nothing is set in stone both sides are wanting to do things and dont want to budge from their plans.

Before court.. could they not agree a two months schedule.. of weekends when he will have her and weekends where she will stay at home?

My EXH and i do that... and keep planning.. obviously thats subject to change, like with his work.. but its generally stuck to. i plan things for my weekends.. and he plans things for his.

but also, has his DD met you? if i were the mother, i dont think id be happy of her staying at yours for the whole of easter if she hadnt.

JUst a quick response...he was in court supporting his ex when she dragged her exH through the courts. She received a police caution for harassing her exH's new partner. The police wanted her kids put on the at risk register because she was emotionally abusing them. She was also emotionally abusing TLOML and I know I've only heard his side but I have no reason to doubt him. If you knew him as I do, and had heard the background over many months as I have, you would understand. She cannot be trusted to be fair and reasonable and is well known in the court in her home town. She became pregnant with his DD just a few weeks after the court case concluded and he loved her and wanted things to work. He left only when things became unbearable and with deep regrets that he could not be there for his DD as he wanted to. He has a fantastic relationship with his DD and she means the world to him. He has seen her every 2 weeks at least since they split. He has had her overnight at his friend's in her home town.

It's not that he is not a good guy in her eyes, in fact she repeatedly asks him to end it with me and go back to her. She is not coping at all well with him being in a new relationship and that is her motivation for making access difficult, NOT the wellbeing of his DD.

ah - it must be so difficult. I dont know.

if you asked my ex husbands girl friend she might tell you the following;

Im a miserable bitch who made his life hell and never did anything nice for him.
That i stopped him from seeing his child.
That i spent all his money and left him in dept
that im fat and frumpy and he deserved better
that i aways wanted more and he was never good enough
that he wasnt getting any sex
that i was jealous of their new relationship - or that i wanted him back and thats why certain things happened.

These would all be untrue. 100% untrue.

Like i say, it must be really hard.... But if he is seeing her at least every 2 weeks since they split would a court even set up a court order?

God it's difficult. Don't think I am not sympathetic because I am. My exbf is trying to make contact with his adult children. It's heartbreaking because there is every chance that they won't want to know him.

It was an acrimonious split and his partner met someone else and changed their name etc. I'm sure she made it really difficult if not impossible for him to see them. And he gave up (temporarily) -I think he was wrong to do that but can see how it can happen.

Agree TK - Exh's new p clearly thinks I am a crap mum (although Im not of course just not some uptight control freak ) because when I emailed her last year very nicely pointing out to her that exh wasn't keeping to our agreement (she had been making pointed remarks to the dcs about me which indicated she wasn't aware of our agreement) - he said she was composing a reply that would basically be slagging me off and my parenting etc Eventually she never sent it but I know she doesn't think well of me - partially because I allow them to eat chocolate every now and then and sometimes stay up late.

he's happy to sit in the middle manipulating us both doing whatever he can for an easy life!!!

That's the thing...they HAVE agreed a schedule, and she is not sticking to it. She knows her DD has met me and I accept that she may not want her miles from home over Easter weekend, fair enough. However, if she is repeatdly making his DD unavailable for contact then court may be the only option. I haven't spoken to TLOML today but I know contacting a family law solicitor was on his 'to do' list for today.

I'm sure my ex has told everyone I was hell to live with and that he did everything he could. If they read the UB petition, it paints quite a different picture. The thing is though, that we are different in different circumstances and relationships and I know I'm not the same person with TLOML that I was with my exH.