Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 29)

[lilacisinlove]

Too good an opportunity to miss!

yeah. i think its just down to luck.
Ive tried both ways, ie meeting quickly. and chatting for a while to see if you really get on. makes no difference.
Plus, its as much about them, and what they want too. People lie, and say they want relationships when the dont really. or are just dating for something to do. or are just dating lots of people becuse its fun or whatever.

Its just down to luck if you happen to meet someone who you like, who likes you back and who wants the same thing you do. then it all clicks into place i think.

congratulations. that is all rather fantastic.

Congratulations SparklyMily

Don't see why you get called shallow and lazy Took for being unsure/tired about going on a date fgs.

I don't think there is any right or wrong as to how soon you meet and chat beforehand. I have chatted loads with someone before I met him but simply didn't fancy him enough in the flesh and I am on date no 3 with someone tomorrow who I met up with quite quickly and I am not too sure there is enough 'spark' there either

well. i think it was lazy becuase i couldnt be bothered to go.
and shallow because i said he looked like rif raf. which he did.
I cant help it if it makes me shallow. but i was not attracted to him in any way shape or form. he also had very bad brown, crooked teeth and one of the front ones was about half the size of the other one.
and odd hair that was about twice the width of his head.

So - im a shallow lazy woman, so sue me!!

I so wish i had said to the taxi man to keep driving. it would have been far less painful.

Wow MILY congrats

Back later - we're running a course this week so Im extra busy. Also dressed in a very demure black dress - very unlike me

I was able to give Monty a RL hug on Sat - dropped into the wine bar for her bday but dcs def not allowed so couldn't stay. She looked fantastic btw.

Aren't we all shallow then really Took, I will always often discount someones message if I don't think I will fancy him from the profile pix

Hi All

Mily Congratulations so happy for you.Have seen the profile picture and you make such a lovely couple.

Took Sorry that the date went so badly.I've said it before but i'll say it again.You have to kiss alot of frogs to find your prince.But he is out there.Don't give up hope yet.

Lilac Wow valentines weekend sounds absolutely fab.I went to westfield last week with my sister and spent a fortune.

Stella ahh i think thats lovely that he is thinking of you.Sounds promising.
Good luck with the teacher by the sounds of it you are doing all the right things.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone.Unfortunately mine is awful.I had an arguement with DG last night over exp and he text today to tell me not to bother looking at a house i had a viewing for near him tomorrow

TK, on that description, you are not shallow, just discerning!

wonder how Snape got on with train man this morning

aslo, what is back story to platonic man? Why does it have to be platonic?

Oh Beaut sorry to hear that. Hope you can sort things out with DG. Is exp being a pain?

PS Lilac very envious of you going up the Shard.

I look at it most days in wonderment. Would love to go up there.

Beaut, so sorry to hear that , really really hope you guys make up, you are so good together

Lilac i am also jealous of your trip.

DG said i should ask exp to have the boys on wednesday so i can have an extra night with him.I said i will ask but that you he knows what he is like and i cant make him.So DG said just tell him and stop making excuses.He gets upset as he thinks i let exp walk all over me.That is probably true but at the same time its hard to explain to anyone what happens after a relationship with someone so abusive and manipulative.I don't know what im supposed to do.

scl, it's a case of who you know! It was only when I saw the Shard from the London Eye that it really hit me just how high I had been. There will be a public viewing gallery on floor 72 when it opens next year, so your turn will come.

Climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the dome of Florence Cathedral and the Eiffel Tower last year so it's becoming a bit of a habit. Next target is the Burj Khalifa in Dubai!!

How much does DG know of what your relationship was like, beaut? TLOML asked me a few questions about respect and my ongoing relationship with exH. When I showed him my UB petition, my reluctance to have anything to do with exH made a lot more sense to TLOML than it had done.

I think you have to have been in an abusive relationship before you can truly understand. DG is a decent guy who wouldn't treat you like that so it's hard for him. Unfortunately, TLOML was emotionally abused by his ex so he understands all too well.

Beaut, fwiw I understand exactly what you mean. irrc DG has no kids? The bit that is hard for non-LPs to understand I think is the complexities of the relationship with XP - in most cases it is not as straightforward as DG suggesting - yes he is right maybe that your XP should help by having the DCs but as we all know on here I think, XPs don't always see it that way. Add in to the mix that your XP has been so abusive and it is not surprising that you are cautious.

Is is possible to have someone else look after the DCs for a bit and get some quality time with DG to chat stuff through? It has been hard for you 2 lately being apart so much and phone is not as good as face to face, text is the worst for proper communication..

Hark at me the expert but I do believe there is no substitute for a quality conversation. You and DG get on too well to fall out over this

sorry, nit sure that made sense. I meant that it is muchj more complicated dealing with an X when their are children involved.

not
much...

there

Lilac DG knows most of it but he has asked me to hold off on the details as its not nice for anyone to hear.I think its more explaining how i am petrified of Exp and how i have my own way of coping with that fear and therefore treating exp.

Mily No DG doesn't have any children.What you said made perfect sense.Thank you.You are right we need to talk as its obviously more of an issue than i thought it was.Hopefully i can still go up to see him tomorrow if he wants me to.

Do we get any details of the sparkly story then?I need to read something nice

Congrats mily. V pleased to hear your lovely news!

Tookool, ignore stupid people telling you that you are lazy/fussy/doing stuff wrong. It simply isn't true, sometimes it is just luck as Mily said. and your time will come :)

Beaut :( re DG. I do think that if you haven't been there, abusive relationships and the aftermath they leave are hard to imagine. I know that there is no way my Ex, like yours, will do what I ask, or make my life easier. I've also never told men I've been involved with since the whole story with Ex because of the potential repurcussions (sp?). The view I take now with my Ex is that I'm not going to engage at all with him, or get drawn into arguments because that just makes me feel worse and reminds me of the crap he put me through. I think all you can do is be honest with DG about your Ex, and explain that you can't be reasonable with an unreasonable abusive person, it just doesnt work like that. I do hope you two work it out tho.

SCL, missed you by about an hour on Sat! Agree the birthday girl did look lovely :)

Had a bit of a sad dream about a past love last night :( But have reminded myself of the reasons why he wasn't the right one
for me, and there is someone better out there. Just may take me a few more years to find them.......

Hey sponge, about your dream, and sorry I left you off my namecheck earlier - your posts always make me smile and often make me think about things differently.

by the way, about the house . How's WW doing?

Beaut, it was all rather lovely and impromptu. TLM had the ring already but was holding off for a couple ofweeks time when we are childfree. However, my parents were here Friday looking after poorly DD2 and when TLM came home with his dd, he to the opportunity to have a quiet word with them to check they wouldn't object to what he was planning. They were delighted and couldn't hide the 's which immediately made me sniff something was afoot so i then started nagging TLM to tell me.....then my dear old dad said afetr dinner 'he asked me' at which point I was fit to burst and then TLM saw the game was up. So he did wait until M+D had headed off, before lining up DD1 and his DD (who werein on the secret) and came in witha bottle of fizz and a box

down on one knee with 2 giggly girls bouncing up and down on the sofa next to me, think i said 'yes' before he actually asked....

so there you go

ah. that is lovely.
:)

beautician - hope you can sort it out. I think it must be hard for him to understand, esp if he doesnt have children himself, let alone the past abusive relationship. But, hes going to have to learn to understand or be understanding.. ( not saying that to be mean) because your situation isnt going to change.
Horrible to be arguing on valentines day :(

thanks for saying im not shallow ( though i know i can be) but you know, how wrong would it be to just string someone along who you dont fancy? thats worse, and more desperate. well i think so anyway.
Biker has been texting me all day. We were on msn all night friday....

cant decide what to do for tea? pizza hut with my girl? or quick trip to sainsburys for a load of nice nibbly bits anda picnic on the floor?

Sponge Yes it is hard to explain to anyone else especially as Lilac said because DG is so much the opposite its hard for him to even get his head around the fact that someone would even say no to having their children.

Mily Ahh that made me smile.I think its so lovely that he included all the family and that the dds felt part of it all.He sounds great.Do you have any plans together for today.

Took Yes thats what i think as well.Even with a contact order my solicitor told me before that i have to make sure the ds's are available but if Exp cancels there isn't much i can do about it.I feel like i'm getting attacked and that DG is being a little selfish.I don't want the ds's to go to Exp if he doesn't want them as thats not fair on them.

Ooh and i think the picnic sounds like fun.I might have to stael that idea.

Mily, the proposal sounds really sweet

I didn't like to mention that you had left me off your list....

talking of lists, mine is done. Now just to find builders. SW weigh in tonight, though I was drinking at the weekend so losses, if any, are likely to be minimal. However I have not eaten any biscuits, cake or chocolate since 24 January, which of itself is miraculous. however I have to say it does seem a lot longer than 3 weeks!

too many howevers.

I possibly need to expand my vocabulary

Sponge well done at no biscuits,cake or chocolate for 3 weeks.Good luck with the weigh in. I need to shift a stone for my holiday only 12 weeks to go so i had better get shredding.