Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 28)

[ninah]

lilac where are you????!

date is later.:)

ive had an email from dog man asking if i think email correspondance is boring?!?!?!?!? and that he doesnt want me to think he isnt interested in me, or is lazy, but if it would be best if we didnt email until our date.

what do you think of that????

would think it highly odd myself ... married or just incapable of maintaining communication ... or so fucking boring is worried will have nothing more to say on date?

well. the conversation hasnt exacally flowed.

He said he might just be crap at writing, or just impatient to meet.

But he hasnt had a lot to say about himself.

?????????

My gut feeling is i cant be bothered to meet him really.

I'd go with gut feeling ... mind you, I am last person to take advice from as seem to have become a piss poor judge of character and/or male motivation!

well. i kind of think, if hes got nothing to say, its not going to have anymore to say in real life when we meet is he?

surely if he was interested in me, we would be chatting, and it would flow.

I cant hold a one sided conversation with him myself.

Took, I will admit I don't like the thought that I have to keep emailing someone everyday unless I have already met them, like them and we cannot meet for a while. Maybe he feels the same.

I'm not going to go on anymore internet dates, don't get any messages that I want to reply too. Still have the profile on POF but nothing to lose as it's free.

eve - am so with you. Events of the last week or so have made me realise how unsuited I am to the world of dating, internet or otherwise to be completely honest.

I just feel that it is not fair to inflict on my kids the turmoil and pressure that this idiotic search for any sort of emotionally normal and available man puts me under. Think sadly that the vast majority of men on dating sites are arseholes and while I accept that somewhere there are a few decent men, I have proved to myself that I am spectacularly ill suited to attracting one. I wish everyone else the best of luck in their search but I for one am desperately thinking of a new and more exciting hobby - DIY surgery on myself seems preferable!

Re my post above - I've been thinking and feel that one reason I'm feeling so low is that I've slowly come to an awareness that it's not so much a loss I'm coming to terms with but a lack if that makes sense.

I'm fine on my own ... but if I'm totally honest with myself, I will admit there is something missing ... a committed and loving partnership of equals but that is a gap that it has become obvious will not be filled - would have more joy hunting yetis I feel.

So, maybe what i need is to have a ceremony, a funeral maybe for what may have been but won't ... I can't be dealing with the highs and lows of this - the highs of wondering if maybe you may have met a good 'un ... and the lows of the dawning horror that you haven't!

Sorry for banging on - not in a particularly good place atm ... but need to resolve this and get on with the rest of my life.

Mz, sorry you are feeling so down. Cheer up please. The holidays are just about over and we all need to be strong to get through the next couple of months that are to me the worst part of the year. Be kind to yourself and for the 'funeral' can you do something nice.

A couple of my friends are booking Centre Parcs which isn't too far away from me. I quite fancy going if it's in Feb, money is a bit tight. Trouble is DD pulled a face because their girls are younger by a couple of years and I suppose it counts at this age.

If you are on any paid sites I would suggest deleting your profile and spending the money on a real treat. How about a lovely massage/pamper day? If you are on POF then stay on but only check it if you get a message, ignore the bad ones and only reply if you get a pleasant surprise.

I'm going to go out with the ex guy if he gets back in touch, he is far from what I'm looking for but no harm in getting out the house and having a bit of company.

Hello all

Happy Birthday Lou and belated happy birthday asbm/

I will join you as a third cat lady - like you I am really quite disenchanted with the online stuff. In fact I would really like to get a cat but not sure whether we would be allowed to have one but then I think if the ll is refurbing once he's turfed us out then would it really matter.

Got up again at 1pm today and we decided after alot of huffing and blowing to drive to Camden. I had to really force myself to get out of the house. It was rather cold there but quite a trip down memory lane (I used to work there) and a distraction from endless hours in bed or spent in front of the ps3/xbox (by the boys).

Im not back to work till Wed and don't quite know how I am going to get up in the middle of the night at 7.30.

And have fallen off the wagon already - bought a nice bottle of sauvignon blanc to drink.

I sort of feel a bit aimless and unmotivated re everything really. But I know I feel better in a couple of months. I don't feel I have the luxury of planning anything remotely interesting for myself as I am too constrained by finances, dc free time, work and lack of family support (I don't call on my parents often but it seems they are not prepared to visit us except for a day trip). Sorry to sound so self pitying. I will snap out of it.

I've taken the tree and decs down, simply because I'm back at work tomorrow and will probably be too tired for the next couple of nights. Felt good to get the house back to normal. Also went out to lunch today with DD and started talking about the year ahead, driving lessons, my big birthday and providing I go careful we should have something to look forward to.

scl, am feeling the same re lack of motivation/aimlessness, which is not like me normally. I have a party to go to this Friday in Brighton (the one that got cancelled due to snow in December) and at present am not even sure if I can be bothered going, all seems like too much effort

Am hoping going back to work tomorrow and putting some structure in my day will help.....

God we are a right bunch of cheerful charlies (charlottes?) ...

meanwhile i am supposed to be going on a date on Friday but am completely meh - how do I let the guy down in a way that makes it clear it really is me and not him (had to put date off before xmas due to bad weather/sick kid) .... and while not really bothered don't want him thinking that I"m just a time-wasting bitch.

It will prob be good Sponge. Does it involve an overnight stay in hotel. That in itself could be quite nice. Was just thinking today how I would like to have a nice breakfast in a hotel.

Im going to the theatre on wed pm and the panto on Sunday so have got something to look forward to.

Mz hmm not sure what you could say am fairly crap at this type of thing.

Mz, you are not responsible for how he feels, do what you want to. Tell him anything, like your cats ill.

fair point eve - but will have to find one first .... am with sin, absolutely crap at lying - hey ho, maybe my mum can get sick before friday

Hi everybody, Happy New Year! Happy Birthday Lou :)

Well I'm with those whose body clocks are out of synch and have no idea how I'm going to get up in the morning.

Hi Tool - how was date?

Lilac - how was Dubai (if you're back yet).

Well, I'm still off the marital sofa and I'm already ahead of the others who see their future as the mad cat lady because I've already got two

I'm going to at least undo the Christmas table so I don't have to look at it when I'm going out to work in the morning, if I have any energy the tree will come down too. The vacuum cleaner is in my front room, it can hope lol.

Mz it's a horrible time of year for singlies, things might look up in the next couple of months eh?

I loathe winter. I was just thinking to myself today 'twelve weeks Monty, and all will seem better'. Don't know who I think I'm kidding but there's no harm in trying.

We do need to cheer up here.

Sod it, just read that post back.

Right, that's it the decs are getting dececrated.

Bye bye Christmas, hello New Year, here I come

its true Monty there is usually a weekend in March where you can sense Spring and then it all feels better.

Hello you lovely lot...and a belated happy birthday to you asbm!

A lot of people I know seem to have the January blues at the moment. Lots of man trouble about as well.

Ninah - your ex's bro sounds a charmless wanker, pardon my French. Plenty of men don't think that way though.

hi

Thought id pop in with post date feedback.

Think it went really well. Ended up in pub for 3 hours. He is good looking, i do fancy him, he seems nice, and normal, and is funny, and id like to see him again.

He walked me to my car, and i said it was nice meeting him, and he said yeah, it had been really nice, and we would talk soon and then he said he never knew what to say.
I gave him a kiss on the cheek and left.

Sorry some of you are feeling a bit down. ive been there too. its very very difficult to feel positive the whole time. Ive been online dating a while, then gave it up for 6 months and now jumped back in again.

nice one took, glad it went well
Ah, got the cat thing now, was a bit pissedconfused

Took, glad you had a nice afternoon and hope he gets back in touch.

Glad it went well tookool :)