Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 26)

[BlackFLAMECandle]

Oooh brand new thread!

Lol Lou :o

why does he say that sponge? Does he lack confidence or does he not want to?? IMO it makes a big difference to what might happen

elasta - love the halloween name by the way :) - from what I know it's not that he actively wants to be on his own. It's more a combination of total pessimism (he never thinks anything good will happen to him) plus a lack of confidence in relation to his current financial situation. Up to a few years ago he always earned a good wage and had his own house, flash car etc - now he's scraping by and back living with parents etc. So he doesn't have the money to go out much, and doesnt think he will attract anyone without money (bearing in mind that he has always been a bit of a WAG magnet in the past....). I don't think he wants to be on his own, but just doesnt see his situation changing. I do understand because I feel the same most of the time, albeit for entirely different reasons!

From what you say sponge, maybe he doesnt want to ask as he fears you might say no, rather than he is a player.

Only thing is, if you do go for it and it doesnt work out you can just move on, but at least you would no for sure which is always better than not knowing.

Dont let what happened to me befall you. My long term crush took me out for dinner and proceeded to tell me about his new gf that he had just met. Then he offered to take me and the kids out. I think he thought I was one of his mates

elasta - he's not a player. Not interested in me quite possibly, but not a player definitely. He's far too down on himself for that.

As to the friends thing, i have been down the mates route before a few years ago (actually on both sides of it at different times) and that thought has occurred, especially as I'm not his usual girlfriend material. He has said though that he's never had a girlfriend clever enough for him before which at least is one box I'm fairly sure I can tick :)

Sponge, he does sound a bit shallow, as though he doesn't consider himself a catch unless he has money. Saying that it's a stereotype but men go for looks and women for money. Bad thinking but true. Shame he cannot see that someone genuinely likes him for himself. i.e. you.

my head has only just stopped hurting. He had better be feeling as rough as me as it was his bright idea to drink so much. I think it was nerves. He's not normally much of a drinker.

Flame let's hope it goes better next time.

I did have a theory a few threads back as IME some of the men on dating sites are challenged in that area but everyone else on here shot me down.

will let you know later tonight :o

Def no issues!

Did have a huge outpouring though. Finally got to the bottom of the last couple of months. Long long story with much stuff but the long or the short of it is that he is emotionally where I was about 6 months ago. I knew there was more to it (despite what I was saying here - I kept wondering if he was married). Now it has all come out it is so much easier. He has always seemed the boy version of me, and now even more so. Poor bloke - I know what being me is like :o

So, anyway, nothing is changing from as it currently stands. Right people, wrong time pretty much, so carrying on with friends, fun and shenanigans. No idea what the future holds, but this year has taught me that you never know what the future holds, so just live for the moment.

Oh, I cried afterwards . He was lovely about it. Sudden rush of emotions. This time last year I was in labour, with the man I loved (who loved me) holding my hand. Tonight I have been in bed with someone else, and during it I couldn't have picked XH out of a line up. So much has happened this year, and I have only just begun to deal with it.

This last few months with Carrot I have learnt that I can feel something for someone other than XH. Ok, I don't know what it is, all I know is that he makes me happy. I feel myself, and comfortable and alive around him. I feel cared about.

Ohh flame how lovely for you!! Sleep well

I am feeling this absolutely insane mix of emotions, but really at peace at the same time - although that is probably oxytocin isn't it? :o

Flame, am so pleased for you and at the same time (((((())))) re this time last year. I am soooo happy carrot makes you feel card for , that is a big thing. Think kdk said a while back about how hard it is to let someone be nice to us after the crap we've been through. It is a wonderful feeling to let someone in

The 'anniversary' of xh leaving on 2nd Nov.....will be glad when that milestone is passed

No sign of BNM after her weekend with DG

All day team time waste meeting today , but RAF back from couple of days off-site this eve, he is coming round to meet the girls and introduce them to the mad springer

I woke up on my vaby's first birthday without her father. The year has hit me in a rush. :(

Hi All

So much to catch up on

Lilac Congratulations on the new job.

Sponge So pleased that you text WM however,i don't thin you should be reading that text as a no to the date.Men don't read into things like we do and i think WM just needs a kick in the behind.

Flame So pleased for you and Carrot.He opened up to you at last which is great.

Mily Yay for RAF and buying you a dress.The dress sounds gorgeous.

I have had a wonderful weekend.Saturday night we both got a little tipsy although not that much as it was the beginning of the night and we had a big heart to heart on our way from one pub to another.Standing in the cold with my face in his hands and him looking into my eyes.DG said he felt i was pushing him away sometimes and so i poured my heart out and told him all about ex.He was great and said that he knew it was soon but that he loves me.You know what i never ever thought i would say that again to someone but i said it back and meant it.

He stayed sunday night and last night too.Has met the boys and adores them and they seem to like him to.I'm so happy.

Flame Ahh big hugs for you.

Aww yay Beaut!

Think me n carrot are meant to help each other heal. may never end up "together" but right now we are what we both need. Pixie lott broken arrow sums us both up, alas we're both the injured ones though!

Flame Ahh you never know what will happen with Carrot but right now it does sound like you need him as he does you.

I have an infection on my chin.It is so so sore and painful.Just went to the doctor to get some cream.Ah well the kissing has been worth it.

Bloody hell you lot have done well. Just been reading on another thread about all these people who have met on the dating sites sometimes the first one they ever met from the internet.

Guess I'm just unlucky, ugly or fussy. not sure which one.

Flame, has he just split up or is he still with someone? Sorry if I didn't read it right. Maybe you are both on the rebound but hopefully not. Sure sounds promising to me.

just split up. Sort of. She has been doing an off and on thing and gradually killing every bit of self esteem He was worried I would be pissed off that there has been so much more going on with him, but i know my own conflicts of feelings with XH so it doesn't actually bother me. (apart from wanting to cause her much pain for making him doubt himself so much)

There isn't enough of a relationship to be rebound tbh. A v good friendship with the odd bit of nakedness.

Yes Beaut. It is very much that we need each other. We will get through our things, heal, and then either move on to new people and stop the naked part of the friendship, or be in a place to want to give it a go together.

PML - anyone who has access to dating for parents or girls date for free - check out bbtell53 - he has just sent me a message with the subject 'meet' and the text 'love'. This is not a man looking for love, this is a man who lurvesssssssss himself! Check out the pix - you know you want to ....

i want him!

sold to the lady with the light!

:o

Kdk those pics are great there is clearly something wrong when we don't find fine specimens like that attractive

I know - it' s the tache I think - just too sexxxy for me