Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 25)

[Remotew]

Kicking this off.

Hi BeautnotMag, 3rd date sounding promising and can see you are keeping your options open.

Strawberry How is your DD today?

Nothing wrong with talking to the boy.Is good to try and rid some frustration

Was supposed to see DG tonight but now he says he is feeling rough.Was ok to go out with his mates last night though.Oh i don't know i don't think i have the patience.

@ BNM - surely that's why he's feeling rough! D'you really want a hungover, probably grumpy and incapable bloke cluttering up your Sunday evening?

Kdk You're right.Has sent me some nice texts.Im such a nightmare that im doing my own head in.

i don't think i can keep doing this. no fireworks but fallen big time and i don't see him changing

Hi Strawb have you seen Carrot tonight then?

mily, sounds like you had a fab weekend, so pleased for you and a bit too.

BNM, watch Bridget Jones on DVD and get a grip!

elasta, kite flying sounds great. Hope your mum had a restful day today.

Personally I'm trying to set a new Where-have-all-the-fit-interesting-and-available-men-gone record for the most dates (with DIFFERENT blokes) in one day - can anyone beat three?

Three dates.Details please.

Have given myself a talking to and getting ready to enjoy the gorgeous David Tennant on the beeb at 9.

Well have had time to respond to texts from cyclist, but still haven't met him yet.

So he doesn't count.

First up was nameless guy, met for coffee in Richmond, then a walk and a chat on a bench by the river on a glorious day. He is seriously cute and we're going to meet again next Saturday.

Next was dancer, could still chat to him for hours but he's not cute at all.

Also managed to fit in rugby guy from my online chat last night, went over to his for a cuppa. Again, a lovely bloke but not my type at all.

Now that's what I call maximising a child-free Sunday

See, you're a braver woman than I Lilac! I wouldn't dare go to a bloke's house who I'd just chatted to online. Never used to be such a wuss but think I used to go back to men's places in my distant and almost-forgotten past ... and just feel that maybe I might not get away scot free these days!

But big-up for three dates in a day! I'd be happy with one a week - or even a month but it's been a long while since I had a message/chatted to anyone I even had a vague yen to meet IRL - most have just made me feel like joining a convent!

i am impressed lilac!

Carrot just gone (he was in loo earlier). The more time i spend with him the harder i fall. We just work so well. I can see him and touch him and nothing churns but at the same time it feels right and I don't want him to leave. He initiates contact just as much as me, has asked to do pub quiz on Weds. my head screams to run as there is no way i am coming out of this well, but my heart says i am not losing anything by keeping seeing him.

He met dd2 tonight and seems as in love as everyone else who meets her.

Fabulous. Now my hair smells of him where we were snuggled and i keep getting a fresh hit when i turn my head.

Dd1 Has bronchitis. . . . .sigh

Lou, noooooo. That's awful for her (and you)

Are you on the mend at all?

Not really, i am coughing loads now too and bed bound. Ds2's sn helper picked him up and took him to school for me
I am watching eddie izzard dvds

Lilac at two dates not being cute at all glad they both had personality at least.A second date with coffee guy sounds promising.

Strawberry Damn the Carrot.What did he say about meeting dd2.You are certainly spending a lot of time together lately which can only be a good thing.

Lou sorry to hear about DD1 and that you aren't feeling much better.I have my two off school today as was up most of the night sick and didn't have the energy to take them this morning.

Hi to everyone else.Supposed to be seeing DG tomorrow and ex has even said may have ds's tomorrow night and i didn't even ask him too

Hi all

nice to see people going on dates.

Sorry to hear about you and your dd Lou. It sucks being ill.

I had a so so weekend - lots of probs with dcs visiting exh. He saw them from lunchtime on sat to sun lunchtime.

He asked me to give them lunch on sat but we got up late and had brunch. When we met him within seconds he was moaning at boys and then said they would be eating their dinner at 5pm. Apparently this was so they could eat with 2 yr old dts 'as a family'. My dcs complained and they were told that they just must co-operate.

Apparently when my ds2 said he was hungry mid afternoon exhs p said well your mummy should have fed you. She also once said similar when I dropped them a bit late - your mummy should have brought you on time. Er no love Iam doing exh a favour by dropping them.

When I challenged exh about this he said ds1 was 'stirring'

I told exh I would be contacting his p direct - because I think she needs to know what our agreement re access is - I don't think he has ever told her. When I said to him you don't ever see the dcs for a full weekend he said of course they can come over on a friday night.

But ever since we split he has always made excuses (even before he met his p) to see them less than our agreement - he denied this yesterday - he is completely manipulative and is trying to do it again.

Basically on his 'weekends' I tend to drop them off and pick them up and he always wants rid of them early Sunday pm.

Because of this the dcs now don't want to go over for a full weekend and hate staying over. They stil do this ultra rigid routine with the dts and my dcs have to fall in with this. What suits a 2 yr old does not suit a 9 and 14 year old. I think my dcs get the raw end of the deal and my exh hasn't got the balls to stand up for them. So I will have to!!

My friend said I should just butt out a bit (re the dropping off etc) and say to him if he wants to see them he should come and get them and drop them off.

Sorry bit of a rant but its very upsetting for me and the dcs - I actually want them to be happy and comfortable when they go there. When they got back yesterday they said they were so happy to be home.

I will email her because I want her to know the situation and I am fed up of the barbed comments when I am doing them a favour. ive held back for three years and can't be this reasonable person any longer.

Have been to pawn my wedding ring today - didn't get much for it but needed the extra cash and tbh what's the pont of keeping it.

scl :( rubbish isnt it the way our exs treat their children? I can offer no more than sympathy - fwiw I think you should speak to his p. I think you have held back for an admirably long time already!

my Ex and his p are no better, DS2 (who is the most amenable, easygoing child) said that she told him off lots for no good reason when they were on hols together, and constantly favoured her own children over him. He hates going to her house, and will only go and see his dad if they're staying at Ex's flat (& she's not there). Meanwhile Ex has said he isnt going to bother having anything more to do with DS1 as he's not 'his' son, and therefore he's mine to deal with . He hasnt told DS1 this, but he's clever enough to work it out. Hence his comfort eating has got worse, and am now experiencing outbursts of screaming/swearing - ie yesterday when he told me I was a f'ing stupid bitch (for asking him to tidy his room). Am finding him a lot to cope with at present, he has no male influence in his life and he is such a boy's boy I feel he really needs one :( Am v worried how he will be at 15 or 16 - 2 years ago he wanted to go to university, now he is asking how soon he can give up school and work on site.

apologies for the hijack...has been a bit of a trying weekend.

Sponge your situation is too. Your poor ds1.

I get the full brunt from ds1 and suspect its due to the anger he has for exh. He doesn't hesitate to call exh selfish though and isn't backwards about expressing his disappointment. Within minutes of meeting them on Sat exh was saying 'I don't know why I bother seeing you' yes they were whinging a bit to him but surely that's not the right thing to say.

Like you I am quite worried about the upcoming years with lack of a suitable male role model.

scl i dont blame you for contacting his p, i think you have been v restrained

and sponge i am on your behalf

dp wants to punch exh esp this week as i am ill

exh actually called the kids (omg i know, it is amazing) on friday evening , he had had some kind of discussion with himself and assumed the kids knew they were going to his on saturday and he had made some food for them in advance

dd1 informed him that she was ill, dd2 had tonsilitis and i was too ill to drive, but he didnt speak to me before he hung up

i sent him a text to say he should have spoken to me about it beforehand, of course no reply

anyway sunday comes round and i feel like death warmed over, and what with dd1's impending bronchitis and dd2's tonsilitis, it was no fun for the boys here

dp was here , tho he is coming down with whatever i have now, and said he could take the boys to exh for a bit to give me a break (dp was trying to do all the housework for me)

so i call exh mid morning to ask him to have them, seeing as he had convinced himself he was seeing them anyway

oh no he says that was the day before and he couldnt possibly have them now as he was tired from being up all night and was going to bed

all i said was it must be lovely to have the choice when he could do that or say no to the kids

and hung up

cue dp ranting on the side to me about what a prick exh was and full of bullshit etc

but we already knew that didnt we?

anyway dd1 has officially got bronchitis now and dd2 has officially got tonsilitis, and i am officially ready for the knackers yard

i hope i can do the school run tomorrow, i dont want to keep asking favours of ds2's sn helper

oh sponge and sin :( What is with these men???

:( for more illness Lou.

Yay for cooperative XH Beaut and seeing dg.

I am trying to limit contact with carrot for a few days and get my head straighter. i refuse to give up a friendship that makes me happy. i can do a crush and get through. i am sure i can.

meanwhile my mum has been doing too much for us despite me saying we're fine and seems borderline breakdown. my dad is stroppy that i didn't get over to see him for his birthday at the weekend. .. very ill baby isn't a valid excuse it seems.

good news though... dd1 had a paed assessment and whilst they are still ignoring aspergers traits it turns out her index finger is hypermobile which is why she can't hold a pen to write properly. .. special pen grips and my baby won't have to struggle anymore!

SCL, Sponge, Lou , , what a load of crap to have to deal with, you poor things

I can't get over the selfishness, thoughtlessness about their children and shear arrogance, it beggars belief. I see all of this in my XH, though he would protest his devotion to his children.

My dsil gave me the lowdown on what Saturday afternoon was like after I left - XH spent much of the afternoon on the phone, so granny and dsil/dbil entertained the dds. He has phoned the dds once in 11 months........

it's all so bloody sad for all our DCs, that's what strikes me.

argh for MILY and Lou too

SCL Would definitely send that email to p.The children are at at such different stages how can she possibly expect them all to be in the same routine.Why don't you ask him to do either the pick up or drop off as there is no reason you should do both.If he wants to see his children then he needs to make an effort.

Sponge Poor ds1 but poor ds2 too as i'm sure he will feel find it strange without his brother about. at ex's.Your ds1 is going through a tough time but just remember that when it passes(and it will) the great young man he is going to be will all be done to your hard work.

Lou Aaarghh at your Exh yes we knew already what a twat he is but didn't think he could get much worse.

Strawberry You are being very sensible about the whole Carrot situation.Glad that you have your head straighter than me
Do you think DD1 has aspergers then?

Now when i said Exp MAY have ds's tomorrow it's highly unlikely.He often says things like this then an hour beforehand lets them down.It's so hard as i have to prepare ds1(ASD) for going and can you imagine the meltdown when i tell him it isn't happening.No matter what elaborate excuse i think of he just doesn't understand So we shall see.

If a man has been a father to a child, then they should continue when they leave, regardless of genetics

:( for you Beaut - that must be a nightmare, I know how DD1 copes with last minute change, and I guess if you just don't mention that he will be seeing him, then the same reaction happens because of that surprise. Yup, we have felt for years that DD1 is on the spectrum, but she is not enough iyswim for a dx.

I am only sensible about Carrot on here . In rl I am moping and confused, plus I am all fine and good with "it'll be fiiiiiiiiiiine" if I am not with him or recently seen him . So by Weds I will be completely stable, it will have been a blip and we are good mates. Then if we do Weds it'll all go wrong again.