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Original poster

Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 25)

1000 replies

Remotew · 23/09/2010 21:37

Kicking this off.

Hi BeautnotMag, 3rd date sounding promising and can see you are keeping your options open.

OP posts:
mummyilubyou · 07/10/2010 19:00

Kdk, that's quite something Hmm

kdk · 07/10/2010 19:19

What a choice eh? Looneytunes above or the supreme commander of the US Army ... what's a woman to do???

FairyLightsForever · 07/10/2010 20:46

Having looked at your profile, kdk, I still cannot work out what it is that screams "if you're a nutter message me" and yet...
Maybe it's secret code only decipherable by men HmmGrin

Yay for mily and RAF!

lou33 · 07/10/2010 20:52

i have been talking with dp about my impending divorce, and how i will be that little bit more free of the ex

but the only thing that worries me if is something happened to me and he ended up getting custody of the kids, it really upsets me to think of them ending up with him

dp said he agreed, and knowing exh he would make it v hard for him to see the dc's, undoubtedly jealous of how close they are to him

so dp has said if there is a legal way of making him a guardian of them in case of my death, he would definitely do that, as he wouldnt want to lose them as well as me

this man just gets better and better

we will investigate the possibilities at some point in the new year i think

kdk · 07/10/2010 21:11

unfortunately Lou, I think that if your xh is on the birth cert as dcs' dad it it likely that in the event of anything happening he would be treated as their next of kin and ipso facto be awarded custody. I'm in much the same situation - have made my wishes clear via my will and a letter expressing my wishes lodged with my solicitor but have been told that it has no legal weight but could be taken into consideration.

Think much depends on the ages of children and their views/wishes.

Found this on a legal site
"When making the decision to appoint a guardian in your Will, you should have regard to the views of the child, where practicable, and also the views of any other person who has parental rights and responsibilities. You should be aware that the rights of a guardian exist along with the rights of a surviving parent or any other individual with parental rights and responsibilities. And, for any appointment to be effective, it must be in writing and signed by the parent who has parental rights and responsibilities at the time his or her death."

Fucking depresses me sometimes - and scares the shit out of me that my kids could end up with someone they've not actually seen or spent any time with for years.

Original poster
Remotew · 07/10/2010 21:29

Lou, I lodged a will with my solicitor expressing my wishes should anything have happened to me saying whom I wanted to bring DD up, after consulting them, of course. This was before he was named on her birth cert but it would still have carried weight.

He never had parental responsibility anyway all irrelevant to our circs now.

Might be worth looking into it.

OP posts:
lou33 · 07/10/2010 21:35

yeh thats what i thought kdk, depressing isnt it?

he is not on dd1's bc, but she is 18 now

i know the kids wouldnt want to live with him, and ds2 is almost 10, so hopefully their ages would have a certain sway, plus his history of alcohol abuse and lack of contact

i will still investigate it though, as well as live as long as possible of course!

but can i reiterate what a great man dp is for willingly wanting to do such a thing?

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 21:40

Hmmm very complicated with the whole custody thing.

Love how much we all over think.

Carrot been and gone. He brought chocolate (on my orders). He says he would never have his life on the internet Blush. We just sat chatting for the evening. Gah! We really need fireworks?! Confused.

Talking to new bloke on OKC - Let's call him Poet. He seems nice. Very much my type personality-wise, and not a type I have gone for looks-wise but not one I dislike either iyswim.

Thank you for the compliments btw :) Boy has always made it clear that he was attracted to me, but never really said it (apart from two very clear occasions that I can remember him telling me I looked stunning). It just wasn't something he did - not malicious, just wouldn't occur to him iyswim. Carrot has now seen me with no makeup, greasy hair scraped back, and covered in DD2 snot.... if fireworks ever appear I will know he is a keeper Wink.

Um... forgotten what else I meant to say.

Oh - agree - no idea why they seem to think you're after nutters!

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 21:41

Oh and seriously - I get quote of the week for necrophilia?!!? ShockBlush

mummyilubyou · 07/10/2010 21:48

Lou, dp sounds like 1 of a kind Smile

Original poster
Remotew · 07/10/2010 21:48

Flame, I don't get this carrot, what's wrong with him! Men don't usually spend time with women they don't fancy and whilst it's honourable of him to hold back if he feels he cannot follow through, you want some action, and nothing is guaranteed no matter how honourable ones intentions. He needs a kick up the bum, as does Sponges WM.

KDK, I've no idea how you get the nutters either. I get my fair share of mingers but non of them are nutters, not that I ever find out.

Got a busy weekend planned, going on an open day to look round an institute of learning, then a night out with my lovely Dsis and her workmates!

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:01

I dunno - Boy had a few girl mates (not the ?OW). We talked about how my marriage went tonight. He knows I still have the butterflies for Boy, but we got into the whole thing that I could never live with him again, I have no idea if I would want him if he wanted to come back, and that I have been happier both since he has been gone, and even more since I met Carrot.

It is a strange strange set up. I get the butterflies for the one, but I am much happier spending time with the other. He seems to want to spend his time with me, and yet says that he doesn't feel the thing.

Another friend told me today that we should just do the sex and get it over with. She split with the father of her son for a few years, and then they decided to try to make a go of it again - she said it took a while for them to get the fireworks back. Hmm

I have no idea. Ball is in his court pretty much.

lou33 · 07/10/2010 22:05

maybe you should just shag him and see if it starts the fireworks?

at least that way you would know 100% and not be left wondering what if?

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:07

I'm up for that - just need him to agree!!

Can't this weekend. Maybe the next one? Although that is a trip weekend and he is generally less up for doing anything.

elastamum · 07/10/2010 22:07

Hi all, just catching up. Trying to avoid doing some work on a project we really messed up today Confused

Just been speaking to doc. I cant now do the date I suggested, he cant do the others I thought of. He wants to meet the weekend I havent got the kids but I have said I'm going to see mum. Fortunately he gets this

He is v nice but in the back of my head I still have a question re why he wants to date me when I live so far away?? Also he doesnt seem really interested in chatting for all that long on the phone. Am starting to wonder if there is something here that I'm missing - dont think he is married but always the possibility he could be in a ltr elsewhere???

Though he did offer me a bed at his place for the night - maybe he just wants a shag Shock

elastamum · 07/10/2010 22:08

Im with Lou on this one flame - think you are just going to have to shag him and see what happens next Grin

kdk · 07/10/2010 22:13

Wish I could work it out as it is starting to be a bit beyond a joke now! Have rejigged wording, changed picture to no avail - still get what seems more than my fair share of loons ...

Original poster
Remotew · 07/10/2010 22:13

Flame, agree with trying him out in bed, but it sounds like he is reluctant, if so then NEXT.

Elasta, dig a bit deeper and find out, if you want to move on with him. Nowt wrong with keeping phone calls brief, I do this at first.

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:18

I'm enjoying my time with him regardless so will just look for the sex elsewhere Wink

kdk · 07/10/2010 22:21

Elasta - I agree with eve re brevity of phone calls. I do it as well at least at first - sometimes think it's due to feeling you might run out of things to say so want to keep it for meeting IRL if that makes sense.

And Flame - just get him round, get him drunk and tell him you're feeling really tense and ask for a back rub - it's never failed for me!! Either you get a nice back rub, you get a shag .... or if they run away screaming, you know for sure it ain't EVER going to happen!

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:22

We were discussing the effects of wine on me - red makes me cry, white makes me "frisky" (his dubious choice of word), whiskey makes me chilled... will see what colour he brings on Sunday Wink

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:22

(cry = emotional/arsey)

Flamesparrow · 07/10/2010 22:23

Oh and re phone call length - I hate talking on the phone. My calls are always brief.

kdk · 07/10/2010 22:25

what about rose?

kdk · 07/10/2010 22:26

or brandy??? though probably not at the same time as rose ... or red or white for that matter.

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