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Original poster

Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

1000 replies

Remotew · 12/08/2010 20:45

Hello!

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elastamum · 19/08/2010 21:20

10 months is nothing mummy - Not had a wiff of anything apart from the odd snog since my ex left 2 years ago. Just as well meeting for lunch not in evening, god knows what I might do to the poor man Blush

mummyilubyou · 19/08/2010 21:28

rofl

know what you mean

this is why I have taken the plunge even though not through divorce etc yet, but am screaming for some male company

this is what is doing my head in about the online dating - I am messaging the ones I fancy, and I mean fancy, and not a thing in return

sorry, will put cavewoman back in her box Blush

lou33 · 19/08/2010 21:29

i went longer than 10 months at times in my marriage lol

GreenDemon · 19/08/2010 21:31

Oh god, I get scared when people say things like 2 years or more!

DD2 is 10 months. She used to go down lovely but then we had a week in and out of hospital and she has decided that she should be held to sleep at ALL TIMES.

Score with the hobbit! He's only away for the day on Saturday it seems (or he was being creative with truth?!), but either way - wants to meet Saturday evening :o

kdk · 19/08/2010 21:32

Anybody doing better than - oh my fucking god - five years of celibacy?

Just me then? Maybe I'm just too darn picky!

elastamum · 19/08/2010 21:34

Nothing wrong with a bit of cavewoman. Makes you realise you have still got it Grin

When sailor kissed me on our first date I thought bloody hell, there was such an obvious spark I caught my breath.
Made me realise what I had been missing, if we had been somewhere private I wouldnt have stopped there Blush

mummyilubyou · 19/08/2010 21:36

kdk you fill me with fear, yet at the same time I know what you mean about picky, just can't help it

personally, I would just like a date please.....Confused

mummyilubyou · 19/08/2010 21:37

oh god elasta, byt the time I finally do get a snog I'll probably spontaneously combust Wink

kdk · 19/08/2010 21:42

Like I've said before - it's not that I don't want to - it's just the slight problem of with whom. As my ex is not around, I would have to arrange something with my mum to be able to spend night away as I'm not prepared to bring a stranger back to mine - and so far I've not come even near across someone who is worth the hassle of doing that ...

Not entirely lost hope though - just dwindling Sad

mummyilubyou · 19/08/2010 21:47

I can totally see that, especially the bit about when/where - same situation for me, not anight off in 10 months and not likely to change any time soom for that matter. And I can also see how the time goes almost without realising - the last 10 months seems to have flown by

hey ho, no, let's not lose hope Grin

kdk · 19/08/2010 21:55

If anyone had told me pre-kids that I would be celibate for five years I would have laughed my head off - I used to be, shall we say, not exactly a shrinking violet in that respect - but there you go. Life changes and all that! Maybe I just used up all my goes!

Original poster
Remotew · 19/08/2010 22:05

I went a year once of self imposed celibacy.

Elasta, sounding great. Nothing worse than kissing someone and it feels like kissing a wet fish. Grin

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lou33 · 19/08/2010 22:06

iirc i think i waited about 5 months after splitting with exh before i got back in the saddle, so to speak

i was quite happy to not have anything serious though, so maybe that made it easier for me Grin

it was with a friend of a friend as well, i bump into him about twice a year still, usually in the supermarket

and weirdly last weekend he sent me some (in hindsight) rather odd messages and called me out of the blue

i didnt think much about it at the time, but then he called with some rather long winded explanation about his messages and it sounded odd

having discussed it with dp and the mutual friend we have, we all think it was strange, especially because he has been with his gf for about 3 yrs now

i was amazed he still had my number tbh, it must be about 4 yrs since we had our flingette, i havent had his stored in my phone for ages and ages now

i am pleased to say that since splitting with the exh i have not gone without for as long as i was with him

GreenDemon · 19/08/2010 22:07

That's the annoying thing - our life was bloody good in that aspect! I am a bit concerned, I was with him since I was 18, he was my only "one" - what if I have been doing it wrong?!

lou33 · 19/08/2010 22:12

if it worked for you then it was not wrong!

i dont think you should worry about stuff like that, though easier said than done i know

but i really think women worry far too much about the what ifs

Original poster
Remotew · 19/08/2010 22:13

Oh GD, I'm sure you weren't doing it wrong. You will find that out in time when you meet someone else.

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GreenDemon · 19/08/2010 22:17

I have been in therapy for worrying about the what ifs Wink Thinking of that I need to book the next session.

I have always figured I must be doing something right as I have always been baffled by those threads that say they would rather have a cuppa and a book than sex as a general rule. I mean, yes, occasionally I would go with that, but generally no.

elastamum · 19/08/2010 22:21

I think the lack of time off can be a real problem for lone parents. After Sunday I have 2 whole weeks without a night to myself. Not great if you are trying to dae anyone.

Fortunately, I have an au pair who is desperate for me to get out there and meet a man, as she thinks it will make me more settled up here. So she will babysit pretty much anytime she is free. but even so i dont like bringing anyone home or near the kids unless i think they may be a permanant fixture

Original poster
Remotew · 19/08/2010 22:21

I can remember feeling like you when I split up many moons ago. Met a very self assured, worldly guy very soon after the split who couldn't get enough of me which gave me my answer. Unfortunatley he was a bastard of the finer variety. God rest his soul.

OP posts:
lou33 · 19/08/2010 22:22

yep gd i am with you there!

Original poster
Remotew · 19/08/2010 22:22

Just to clarify, I didn't s--g him to death he met with a terrible accident some years later.

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GreenDemon · 19/08/2010 22:27

:o good way to go though!

I am very lucky that DH has been so good w/r having his children etc, and my mum is lovely and supportive so she babysits too. I don't know how she will feel about me going on dates though so want to leave it until I have to tell her.

Original poster
Remotew · 19/08/2010 22:32

Must admit I'd rather have a nice cup of tea nowadays, never thought I'd say that.

I'm supposed to be going out with the girls tomorrow night. It's been ages. Also go a message of POF from someone local. Sent a quick reply but not heard back. Didn't float my boat looks wise but might be worth nipping out to costa to get a second opinion.

OP posts:
Monty100 · 19/08/2010 22:34

Eve - Grin omg that made me rofl. (God rest his soul)

Well, by the look of it Elasta is going to get dating crown of the week.

Lou - glad to hear puppy has settled.

I have fallen out with dp, and exh all in one night Blush. All dc orientated Confused.

Might be back on line very soon so am lurking with interest lol.

lou33 · 19/08/2010 22:34

gd i was going to say the same to eve

as for dating with kids, well exh has never been about and i have no family to help out, and i still managed it, though admittedly dd1 was old enough to babysit for a couple of hours

i have never found having kids has been an issue with anyone i have dated either, though 90% of the time they didnt meet them, and aside from dp there were only one or 2 who were introduced as anything other than friends if they did

most of them didnt have kids themselves either

dp doesnt have any (tried with exw but found out he couldnt) but is bloody fantastic with mine, so the kids/no kids thing doesnt have to be an issue either

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