Talk to me about quality of life. UK vs USA

[ilovemydogandmrobama]

So, DD is 3 and DS is almost 2. I am American, living in the UK, but am thinking of moving back to California. Both DCs have dual citizenship, so no problem with visas etc.

What are the good points living in the USA? What do British people miss about the UK?

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I'm pushing for us to move there, mrsasp. I've been told by a lot of SD locals that it's more friendly and more cosmopolitan.

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'Depends entirely on how much money you have.'

That's the sum of it, really.

I've not set foot there in 8 years and the only reason we're going to start visiting now is because my father's health is in decline.

But other than a few things and the odd twinge, I can't say I've missed it much.

Riven, We have a social security system here just like in the uk. There is assistance for the poor and the elderly, people with disabilities,and the mentally ill to name a few. There is health care for the poor and assistance for low income people. The level of assistance here is different than in the uk and the system has a different approach (in theory based on making people self sufficient). In the USA we have a system where the individual is expected to take responsibility for their actions (ie save for their old age, buy health insurance, save for their kids' university). Of course not everyone is good at taking responsibility and we have a safety net to care for those who don't. However that safety net has a different premise than the one in england...it's meant to be a stopgap, not a lifestyle. Personally I prefer having less government in my life...but then again, that's what I'm used to having been brought up in the USA.

Oooh, Sofia, you're a Republican at heart, aincha?

I was also brought up in the US.

And I prefer the UK's version of social security all the way.

Things I missed when I lived in the US (NYC) was:

a decent cup of tea

the BBC (esp Radio 4, although public radio had some good stuff)

people being helpful in places like Post Office, train station, utility companies etc (I know that sounds wierd, but believe me, those workers in NYC were horrid compared to the UK).

Proper bread!

Space - apartments very small and very expensive

Things I loved:

Positive attitude

Interesting culture (it was NYC, so maybe not representative)

Fantastic restaurants

Energy

Proper summers and winters

Meeting all sorts of people from all over the world.

The newness of living in a different country/culture

As someone else said, healthcare not an issue if you have decent insurance, although the way things are run takes a bit of getting used to (very bureaucratic!)

Good luck with your move OP

the lack of plentiful holidays, nope, couldn't go back to that, either.

not for all the restaurants in the world.

that you only qualify for after working in some places for 6 months-1 year.

and that they don't want to take at one time, but it days here and there.

having to decide whether or not you get day after Thanksgiving or day after Xmas, because you can't have both.

being seen as 'Negative Nancy' if you inject an iota of common sense or reality into many things.

materialism. oh, yes. when i got married and everyone was asking about my engagement ring. um, don't have one, deary. still here without it!

i could go on and on.

Another californian in the UK here, and every january I think of moving back. It just takes one picture of someone driving a convertible though a wide palm-lined street to do it. I'm FREEZING here. So I suggest not making a decision in the middle of winter. Things I would miss if I moved back

• the NHS
• public transport
• visiting europe

Get a SAD lamp, it's far cheaper than moving to CA.

ILMD - oh yes, of course I totally miss mexican food - hard to even find proper ingredients here...

But i always figured its not about which place is best - there's always pros and cons. Its about whether you want/need to make a change. Moving country is obviously a big change, but maybe you're at a point in life where that's what you need and if so - go for it and make it happen. food/weather etc are irrelevant.

Riven, I am picturing the forever congested 405 north with the panoramic view of the SF Valley before me, but on a warm sunny day in a convertible, and it still sounds good...

But am staying. feel at home here. And still havent gotten over the novelty of frost crunching underfoot...

I think that's really it in a nutshell- where do you feel at home? For me, it is and always will be Minnesota. If other people it's not the country they were born in.

However...you did say children act "childish" for longer over there? Hmm. May have to jump ship-I hate this trend I'm seeing of 6-7 year olds acting like teenagers.

Brightonpebble, "there's always pros and cons. Its about whether you want/need to make a change. "

Very wise!

Mrsasp, been in San Diego just over a year. Really struggling to find any niche here though and the job market is appalling

I want to try living elsewhere in the US. Not sure SoCal is for me. Am also interested in anyone's opinions on Northern California and San Francisco.

Funnily enough, i think kids get to be kids MORE in the US than in the UK. they start school later, and dd was force fed far less (she's reasonably bright) and learnt far more in her US school than UK. It is accepted that she will be a kid, and fidget & make a noise more BUT she has to be polite to adults (they use 'Miss' or 'Mr' then first name for people like bus driver, dance teacher etc).

I was also gob smacked by the quality of behaviour in ALL the primary schools I visited - and I went to every potential one in our area. In fact when on a holiday to NYC, I saw a school party of high school kids, obviously NOT from the best area in town, and even then I was impressed by their behaviour. Manners just seem to matter more in the US.

I think that, culturally, there are pros & cons on both sides. Financially, it depends on your job, where in the country you are etc. If you feel that the US is the home for you, then that should be your decision.