Talk to me about quality of life. UK vs USA

[ilovemydogandmrobama]

So, DD is 3 and DS is almost 2. I am American, living in the UK, but am thinking of moving back to California. Both DCs have dual citizenship, so no problem with visas etc.

What are the good points living in the USA? What do British people miss about the UK?

My BIL is in Philly. Do you know where you will be living. At least there, you won't feel isolated as you are just a trainride from NY, DC and lots of other places.

I stayed in Philadeplphia once (only for a month) and teh first tv programme I saw when got there was Benny Hill

I liked it though, great city and handy for NYC

Put down the crack pipe, ilove!

You're mad.

The healthcare thing alone is enough to put me off for good.

You really do not want to rely on American TV. It is truly awful. There are commercials every 5 minutes and even these are awful, usually selling prescription medicines.

You need to come up with some alternative diversion at home (internet is good).

That's us!

I'm British in So-Cal, married to an American.

I feel rather torn between the two countries.

On the plus side, in Southern California you have:

• The weather! Winter is mild. No SAD. No dreary days.
• Everything looks golden and shiny.
• Big houses, cars
• Outdoor lifestyle - swimming, tennis etc. available
• The freedom to go places in the US. Disneyland, Seaworld etc. etc.
• Lots of nice universities
• Nice shops
• Big shiny companies to work for if you can actually get a job
• Great food (if you avoid Dennys, IHOP etc.)
• People have a more positive attitude than Brits

On the downside:

• I find people a bit sheeplike and very shallow. There are a few gems, but to most, appearance is everything, the men are cocky and the women spend half their lives in beauty parlours. People act like they want to be your friend then they fob you off. Or they're just rude.
• EVERYONE is on millions of prescription pills, antidepressants etc. Our children's school is pressurising us to give dd2 Ritalin completely unnecessarily.
• We're currently paying $800 a month in health insurance cos dh is unemployed
• The job market SUCKS
• Very few, if any benefits. We'd end up on the streets before the government would help us. They'd just let you rot, really.
• Crime
• I've trained as a doula and childbirth educator but people just aren't interested. Less than 1% of women have home births. Natural birth in hospital is impossible as IVs and nil by mouth are the standard for labouring women. In San Diego, the caesarean rate is close to 50%. Doctors are gods and must not be questioned.
• The puritanical Christian crap. Alcohol and sex are deeply taboo. Wrestling and guns are good though.
• The gay marriage ban
• Homeless people on every street corner.

I'm thinking about moving to Northern California, Las Vegas... or maybe back to the UK. This place makes me feel like I'm going a bit mad sometimes. Even locals tell me how unfriendly San Diego is and they're not wrong

I am considering (and have been for a while now) the move in the opposite direction. I am British living in the US and have done for many years. As Jabberwocky said it really depends on where you live - it is such an huge country so finding the right place for you is vital. I do not recognise the America described in BrokenArm's post but I know it is out there.
I will miss:
The Healthcare system - yes, contentious I know but we are in fortunate place with excellent coverage. The quality of healthcare for my family is second to none.
Parking spaces at the supermarket - in fact space in general.
The shopping - superficial I know!
The fact that being a SAHM is an accepted occupation.
Being able to shield my children from the seedier side of life.
I will not miss:
The driving culture.
The superficial nature of friendships.
The sense of entitlement ( a generalization I know but I do feel it keenly where I live).
Rampant Consumerism (but I really feel this in England to now so maybe it is changing everywhere).
The fact that everyone around here is gorgeous, thin and general fabulous at all hours of the day!

The things that have improved life here are: Britishcornershop.com, Radio 1 on XM and getting a proxy server sorted so I can watch BBC Iplayer

Yes to Radio 1 on XM and the proxy server! Fantastic!

I've noticed several posts about superficial friendships and I have to admit to being somewhat bewildered. I have lived in two different cities/towns in the last 15 years and have had wonderful friends in both. In one, there were 5 of us who got together on a regular basis along with spontaneous girl nights of wine or hanging out in the backyard with the kids, etc. Now I have another group of friends, similar in size. We may not see each other quite as frequently but they have been there for me in many different situations going above and beyond the call of duty - as I hope I have for them.

Another thing I struggle with here is there is no sense of entrepreneurialism. Big business has a strangehold on everything and whatever you try to do, you find that you need a license or a certificate to do it. Selling more than 3 of anything in a year technically requires a seller's license. Selling homecooked food is illegal as you need a commercial kitchen. etc. etc.

Jabberwocky, I think the superficiality is a So-Cal thing. I've been elsewhere in the US and found people more friendly.

Also though, you're American so I expect it's a little easier for you to make friends. I find it very hard to get people to see me as anything other than a novelty and a cute accent.

Depends entirely on how much money you have.

You need a LOT of money to cover a lifetime of unknown health possibilities. Many many conditions are not covered by insurance so unless you're wedged up you're stuffed if you get sick...

Yes, I can see it being that way more in CA. Also the entrepreneur thing maybe much more that way there. Where I live there are many small businesses (I'm one of them!) and I hear all of the time of people deciding to start up their own thing after being downsized.

Never lived in CA but lived in New York state, working in education with women and young girls. I am glad that my little girl will escape the overwhelming and unrelenting pressure to conform that I found in the states but sad that she will miss out on the positivity and energy, the can-do attitude of the people I met in the states. Loved the valuing of education, the search for opportunity, the fact that good grades mean something.
It took me years to adjust to this country when I got back, the acceptance of mediocrity, of things not working properly, of people in power being, well, shabby.
However, I am proud of the tolerance of the UK, the acceptance of the eccentric and the appreciation of the wierd.
So if you are from US and have lived here, have no doubt that whatever you decide, your children will benefit from the best of both worlds!

"We found the US much more superficial in terms of friendships, and life to be more materialistic. We find that it is less materialistic in the UK and that friendships are more important."

This is sadly so true. And so is everything CarmenTinsel said (CarmenTinselPalmTreesSanD... Mon 04-Jan-10 00:03:35.) People are not interested in what you say; they prick up their ears at your accent and make kind remarks about it, but what you say, in your accent, doesn't register.

And you will really miss the sense of humour and the feeling of community. There is no real feeling of being in it together in the US.

And the healthcare thing is horrendous.

Hmm. Really depends where you live - as several people have said, America is a big place.

I grew up in the mid-West, went to Uni in Boston, medical school in Philly, and trained in San Francisco. I go back for the entire summer back to where I grew up because of the things missing in my sons' lives here in London.

Great things:

1. SPACE! My parents live in a large house with acres of land for DSs to roam around in.
2. Freedom. Because the neighborhood is very safe (last time there was a burglary was decades ago, and people leave their doors unlocked when they go out), I let DS1 wander around to his friends' houses unsupervised, and have no fear in doing so. One sees kids riding bikes down streets and walking without parents to their neighbours' houses as young as 5-6 years old. This is considered normal.
3. Great summer activities. The local university (a top 10 school) has a variety of science programs for preschoolers and up during the summer. Some are one day, and some are several weeks. The Science Center offers additional camps, and the local museum has art and natural history camps.
4. Amazing local state school. The secondary school has its own running track, tennis courts, movie theatre, swimming pool, 2 sports pitches and constantly renovated facilities. This is a state school.
5. Great service most places

Don't like:

1. The food. Yes, there is a Whole Foods which makes things bearable, but in general food quality is poor and quantity is ridiculous.
2. The insular nature of most people. Most people in the area don't see the point of travelling beyond the tri-state area, and definitely don't get going abroad.
3. The car-centric culture
4. The obscenely large houses. It has happened over the past 5 years, and came as a huge shock to me how enormous the houses have become. The average size house in the area has balooned to way over 10,000 square feet. Who needs all of that space and why?
5. Lack of cultural variety and variety in everything (way people dress, political viewpoints, etc)

I love many things about the States, and some areas I would be happy to move back to (Northern Cal and the suburbs of Philly being two of those places).

SofaQueen - the area you describe sounds just like where I live. Is the University you describe NorthWestern?

No - Carnegie Mellon University.