Move to US is an option- am I mad?

[Tryingtohelp12]

We’ve had the opportunity to move to the US with my dh job. Are we mad to consider it?
I feel like we are stuck in a bit of a rut and in the future we will regret not taking more risks. we have 2 (about to be 3) children who would be aged 5,2 and newborn.
pros
great for long term career for dh
experience
change
increase standard of living in terms of salary

cons
young children being away from extended family
limit on my ‘career’ as I couldn’t work as we’d have no family support - I’m honestly not super passionate about work
reliant on husband/husbands job

Are we mad for considering it?

Maybe we have less days but I don’t think that most people in the US with decent vacation time feel like we are being shortchanged or don’t get enough time off. We also have a different school schedule with more time in the summer and no half term so working parents here have less of a concern about needing to take annual leave to be with the kids on all those breaks, one block over the summer is generally easier to manage with the abundance of camps and holiday programs available

I think you get used to it if it's your norm. But it is a big change if you go from a liberal UK allowance (I have 33 days plus 8 bank holidays) to the US so it's a valid thing to think about and look into

I agree that it is a valid concern if you're coming from the UK to the US. But vacation time is negotiable, just like most other terms of employment in the US.

I would say go for it! Even if it is just an experience for 2 years and then you come back. Don't regret the things you haven't done.

I have a friend who went to the US for work for 3 years and loved it, didn't want to come back and both him and his family - in a similar situation to yours absolutely loved the experience. Absolutely better to try it than not!

And that is what this thread is about so it's a valid thing to raise.

Most things are somewhat negotiable but within limits - both DH and I have transatlantic families and lived in both countries, the #1 thing our American family members envy about our lives in the UK is our annual leave. (The #2 thing for some weird reason is butter.. my American relatives say it tastes a lot better in the UK... I can't tell the difference myself!)

All I will say is that if I asked my two friends from Tennessee if I should relocate there they would both give a firm no. They visit family but would not go back themselves. Drugs (including prescription) and guns are a real issue not a what if.

Personally I wasn’t - I was saying that the PP who claimed Americans “never” take two week holidays was wrong.

is there an issue with that?

Not at all, I wasn't directing it at everyone but some posters definitely were coming much closer to suggesting that Americans do get the same amount of leave.

Butter is definitely better in the UK and in Ireland than in the US. I think it has to do with the difference in the grass that the cows eat. When I lived in the UK, I developed a fondness for bacon sandwiches. It's difficult to get back bacon in the US. When we do find it, we buy Irish butter for our butties. (We can get Irish butter where we live but not any brand of British butter).

(We can get Irish butter where we live but not any brand of British butter)

Same here. I can't comment on British butter but Irish butter is better than anything produced here in the US! A close second would be a small family owned brand from a Vermont creamery that I stumbled upon.

@Everydayitsgettingcloser I am shocked that you can't tell the difference, LOL!
Next you're going to say that you like Guinness ice cold the way it's often served
here😂😂

I think I just don't eat that much butter...😃

I stock up for my relatives.

See, I don't see much of that - I do see a lot of "that's a misconception, I get a liberal amount of leave" from the Americans

Well some certainly do get a liberal amount of leave. The sticking point probably goes back to no government mandated vacation time (beyond federal holidays) so I guess you could say it isn't equitable (?)

I don't believe you're going to find many cashiers in grocery stores who have 30 days vacation (in addition to federal holidays) in the US but an executive level professional probably is somewhere in that neighborhood.

Same here. I can't comment on British butter but Irish butter is better than anything produced here in the US! A close second would be a small family owned brand from a Vermont creamery that I stumbled upon.

Kate's Butter is comparable to Irish butter (think it is made in Vermont or Maine) and is widely available. I notice Kerrygold is in all the supermarkets around me (MA) now. I agree standard american butter is not comparable at all. I can't even use it in mashed potatoes.

There are plenty of low level job in the US with decent amounts of leave between 20-30 days but it's usually based on time spent at the company. I'm an American/Brit senior professional with 35 days leave in the US. None of my friends in similar positions have less than 30. I take 2 weeks in the summer and 2 weeks at Christmas with the rest spread out. "America" is a vast place and the mistake most brits make is trying to generalise. Americans have very diverse geography, climate, employment contracts, schooling options, healthcare etc. There simply is no standard experience.

Common sense (like most other things like integrity, accountability, taking pride in your work, taking genuine interest in helping ppl out etc etc) may be a social construct but it is actually comparable across countries and cultures.

This is reason certain societies, countries etc have certain reputation and associated stereotypes.

I live in Maine and I use Kate's Butter.

I would suggest that’s a poor argument because you haven’t provided any reason why it’s comparable across cultures.

In fact, you acknowledge it’s a social construct, and therein lies why it’s not comparable - because much of its content is culturally specific.

For instance, to an NRA member, it’s “common sense” to own a gun in the interests of personal and societal safety. To many progressives, this is absurd.

The function of common sense: advice, to oneself or to others, that fulfils the essentially conservative role of preserving, as far as possible, the status quo, is common across cultures, but it’s content is not.

Why do you think that its not comparable across various cultures and societies?
After all things that i cited are basic human values, which everyone looks up to.

as for your example abt IRA etc , that a different and contextual thing, which I wasn’t talking about anyway. So i think you may be going a bit on a tangent here.

So yes I have seen Brits come into these threads insisting that everyone only gets 2 weeks, and some of the "but I get XYZ" is a counterpoint.

the issue in the USA is that averages hide a massive variation. The average is pushed down by people who get less than 2 weeks, sometimes none. I would say that if you're being recruited from abroad for a role in the USA it's likely to be executive or at least managerial, and at that level 2 weeks wouldn't be acceptable. If you're 23 and in your first salaried job, then yes, you might well get only 2 weeks (unless it's combined time off, in which case it's more, but also has to cover sick and personal time). So in the context of many of these "should I move to the USA" threads here, it's worth saying that the person in question is likely to get more.

I would say that 1 week holidays are more common than 2. This is also shaped by school holidays. If you want to go away during the school year, you'll rarely get more than a week. (I am not a fan of the American school calendar.) If you want to take more, and you have children, you have to do it in summertime. But again, I know people who take more than that, who have summer homes, etc.

there's also jobs where the paper allowance is high but there's a lot of pressure not to take it, or to stay connected via email/slack, but this varies greatly by job.

As for butter -- I find the American Land O Lakes fine for cooking and baking, but I don't like it for toast. The consistency is fine, but it's not very flavourful. Regular American butter is made from uncultured cream, so it's much more neutral in taste.

Vermont Creamery is my favourite for spreading, and I buy it for baking if I am making something like laminated pastry. I think Kerrygold is a bit overrated to be honest but it has excellent marketing. I love French cultured butter like Beurre d'Isigny but that's too expensive to buy with any regularity.

(I have a few other rules like "always buy the Greek feta" because the American made is usually cows milk and not nearly as good.)

In other words, you choose the qualities you want to judge societies by, and some societies fall short.

Your values are highly subjective, as are your observations.

An analogy might be a vegan judging Inuit peoples of the Arctic north for being meat eaters.

See also the beautiful word "jobsworth".

And also, "I'm alright Jack".

this article answers your questions:

https://epochemagazine.org/58/philosophy-and-common-sense/

You have made the assumption the things you list are the content of common sense across the world. Based purely on your subjective opinion.

Also to be clear - my comments on common sense were is response to a PP claiming Americans had “less” common sense than Brits. You cannot compare the “quantity” of common sense between populations, because its content is situational and culturally specific.

not based on opinion but based on factual observations while living in a place. These are the actions and attitudes of the people you get to interact with. Its a pretty black and white thing tbh.