Move to US is an option- am I mad?

[Tryingtohelp12]

We’ve had the opportunity to move to the US with my dh job. Are we mad to consider it?
I feel like we are stuck in a bit of a rut and in the future we will regret not taking more risks. we have 2 (about to be 3) children who would be aged 5,2 and newborn.
pros
great for long term career for dh
experience
change
increase standard of living in terms of salary

cons
young children being away from extended family
limit on my ‘career’ as I couldn’t work as we’d have no family support - I’m honestly not super passionate about work
reliant on husband/husbands job

Are we mad for considering it?

Exactly. Just more than a trifle xenophobic to say that a nation has no soul (or history). Of course we have soul and and history. And much of it is shared with various other nations, most notably the United Kingdom, an important event of which we will celebrate tomorrow.

American universities don't need the money from international students thanks to enormous endowments which dwarf those of the vast, vast majority of British universities.

You don't often hear of an American university that apparently doesn't even know exactly what its debts amount to or because the government doesn't value certain academic areas
www.theguardian.com/education/2021/jul/20/funding-cuts-to-go-ahead-for-university-arts-courses-in-england-despite-opposition

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-norfolk-66047712

So you are telling us that education isnt a business in the US (the country whose system is totally based on commercial enterprise in every single thing).

As for UK, the cash deprived universities are looking for any opportunity to make some £££. For this most are happy to lower their educational standards.

https://www.hepi.ac.uk/2021/09/09/international-students-are-worth-28-8-billion-to-the-uk/

Education is not immune from the financial facts of life, correct.

Are you the poster who says she lives in the Chicago area?
Do you by any chance live in Naperville? Because if so, I can see how that might colour your views on the US. (Feeble joke...)

How a place 'feels' is very subjective. There are so many factors that go into our perceptions. Ascribing your feelings or perceptions to the place itself and not your own personal experience of it is a case of projection.

I don’t think 33 days plus bank holidays and 6 months sick leave at full pay is particularly typical in the U.K.

You are completely wrong about the international appeal and international participation in American sports.

Baseball is played in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Venezuela, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Mexico.

What's wrong with sports being variations of other sports? The basic concepts of balls, bats, bouncing, throwing, catching, kicking, running, bases, wickets, end zones, goalposts, etc are common to nearly every sport worldwide - sniffing at sports because they're like other sports in other countries is ridiculous and mealy mouthed.

You mix up subjective opinions and assertions of fact all the time in your posts.

The quality of US universities very much reflects the quality of education in the US. Even if all you can admit about American universities is that they have figured out how to stay afloat financially, that's more than you can say for most British universities, and reflects a practical and forward thinking sort of intelligence, the sort of intelligence that makes paying academics possible and makes liberal arts education an attractive proposition for prospective students. So attractive, in fact, and so obvious the benefits, that some leading British universities are now offering American-style multi-discipline liberal arts degrees.

What is wrong with attracting leading researchers or teachers from other countries? The entire nation is made up of recent immigrants or descendants of previous generations of immigrants. You yourself are an immigrant.

I agree, but it's what would be considered "liberal" here. Quite a lot more than 4 weeks
..

@Tryingtohelp12 we did something very similar to your offer when our DCs were 6 & 8, for 3 years, with similar generous employer package, bit a different state. We had an amazing experience, I'd definitely consider it if I were you.
We travelled to some incredible places in the States, made great friends, family came out to visit, DCs attended amazing schools, DH loved the work he did there. I freelanced with UK orgs and also volunteered at DCs school.
We saw it as an adventure and a chance to live in a totally different culture, with the safety net of a fixed return date, our home to come back to (we rented it out) and excellent support from the employer.

No i am not in Naperville, I am in Oakbrook. As for the the rest of your comment, every observation and experience is subjective. I am just sharing how “I” found it. May be it will be of some help to the OP.

There are also things that are nice about the US.

You seem to be taking it all personal for some reason. Obviously there is nothing wrong about deriving one sports from the other and the rest of the obvious stuff that you ve stated. Good that you like it here..

Oakbrook is just about as 'corporate' as it gets. Luckily there are many other parts of the Chicago area that are far more interesting, both suburban and urban.

Also, if there's nothing wrong with sports being pretty similar the world over, why bring it up?

??? Not sure what you are trying to achieve but i am starting to lose interest.

Anyway the point was that someone moving over in an adult age may find it difficult to get interested in it. If you like them good for you.

As for Oakbrook being corporate not sure if that any longer true. Its affluent but characterless like the most of American suburbs.

Hi OP
i recently relocated from London to nyc (feb) so feel free to reach out.
I assume he would be on a l1, and you on a L2 which means you can work. Pros and cons for working or not working.
I’ve had a wonderful experience so far and I’m happy I did it.

I have no horse in this race, but I think mathanxiety's point was just that. Oak Brook is fairly bland, even by American suburban standards. (An observation, though: I have observed in both the USA and Canada that many areas that look completely cookie cutter and bland are home to surprising diversity. You'll find the biggest surprises in suburban strip malls. To be honest one failure of North American planning is that gentrification in cities has pushed out vibrant enclaves, often in favor of very similar feeling upper middle class neighborhoods.)

one correction, though: American universities aren't all Harvard, and quite a few do recruit internationally for money reasons. International students are often restricted in what financial aid they can get, and are more likely to pay cash tuition. They can also operate different financial aid policies for international students (whether or not they do depends). Public universities can also recruit heavily from out of state or abroad to make up for state funding shortfalls.

I'd also be leery of judging too much based on personal experience. I have several friends who has absolutely miserable times on taught masters programmes in the UK, because they were treated as cash cows for the universities, and so many of the other students were international and the standards were dumbed down to keep customers happy. But I know that's not true for all masters degrees there either.

@BlauVogel - as Knitnerd says, Oak Brook is bland, bland, bland.

If there's no pressing reason for you to live there, and you would prefer diversity, intelligent neighbours, public facilities like pools, tennis courts, libraries, etc thst are heavily used, community groups like excellent orchestras, choirs, charitable organisations, and amenities like sidewalks, quirky restaurants and shops and genuine ethnic shops, eateries, etc, there are definitely other options in the Chicago area. The closer you get to the city the nicer the suburbs get, imo, and there are vibrant city neighborhoods too.

Hmm not sure i fully agree but I could be wrong. For me the most surprising (and difficult to adjust) things were the general low level of intellect/common sense in most people and the laid back, care free attitude.

Not that i am claiming to be Einstein myself but its much different to what i was used to while living in UK and Europe.

How do you define intellect, and common sense?

Go for it. We lived there for 10 years. Loved it and came back when we’d had enough.

I've certainly met anti-intellectual Americans (and there's quite an interesting historical strain here; see Richard Hofstadter's Anti-Intellectualism in American Life), but I could say the same for Britain.

I'm in the DC area though, which is overeducated if anything. But I would expect that in and around any large city, you could find compatible people if you try. I spent a year in Chicago after university and enjoyed it a lot. I was single and living in the city, though.

Coming from someone who has worked in the US and still has to travel there for work, you are spot on.

Labour right is non existent there. You get next to nothing paid leave even if you are senior. When a colleague is ill, or expecting, instead of offering them paid leave, the company would ask everyone to "donate their leave" for this person to take time off for a surgery / spend more time with their newborn.

Healthcare is horrendously bad and expensive.

Guns. Don't get me started. Schools in the US have shooting drill. In the UK, we only get fire alarm drill.

Cat calling is very common in the US and people accept it.

Shop lifting is very common. Pharmacies like CVS lock up shampoo and toothpaste. You have to ring a bell for someone to open the locked cabinet for you.
Securities can be very aggressive in checking bags when you leave a supermarket / pharmacy.

Agree with you on this. There are some very bright Americans. No doubt about that.
It is a very polarised society. The average population can appear to be less intellectual in America.

I work with many American. Even the "educated" American can be climate change denier. They love Fox news. Instead of directing their anger at greedy pharmaceutical and publisher, they think our drugs and textbook are cheaper because generous Americans subsidise the world.
Their geography is America, and the world that is not America. I have stopped explaining to them where I went on holiday. You will be surprised how many of them don't know what Warsaw is. My Bulgarian colleague has stopped introducing himself as Bulgarian. He calls himself European.

Much depends on where you live. The CVS half a mile from me doesn't lock up shampoos etc. The supermarket in that parade doesn't check your bags on the way out.

Sometimes I imagine if Americans talked about the British the way the British talk about Americans...