British parents in France, French parents in GB - what are the best/worst bits about the way the other nationality raises their kids?

[Othersideofthechannel]

This is following on from the snacking debate in Food (sorry, can't make links work) and I do understand that not everyone from the same country chooses the same methods, but there are some cultural tendencies. Which one do you select/reject and why?
Anna8888 are you there?

We had ds in France and I found the experience so negative in terms of the medical side plus lack of childcare options, that we came back to the UK to have our second child (and stayed here!). We absolutely loved France till we had ds - I found the whole system very alienating. There was no proper antenatal support network (i.e. opportunities to meet other expectant Mums, which people seem to use in the UK as the basis for all their pre-school friendships!) - we had one "lecture" type afternoon at the hospital explaining the medical aspects in a huge room with lots of slides and doctor-speak! I came out utterly terrified! I also found the whole breast-feeding thing a nightmare - I had so many problems and tried 3 different GPs to help me but they had no experience of BF at all! They basically said give him formula! Then I couldn't go back to work as I was PT and the creche places were only available to people working full-time. All the registered childminders applied the same principle. My only option was an undeclared cash in hand arrangement which was just a non-starter from every angle. End result I gave up work then couldn't find a full-time job as I had missed the boat for nursery places and childminders lists too long! Plus I really didn't want to work full-time as I wanted to see ds for some of his waking hours! As others have said it really is a country which seems to expect babies to be slotted in to meet the needs of the economy! We miss France so much but know we made the right decision for our family balance by coming back!

We've been thinking of moving to France next year, but the school days just seem brutal, and I will be a SAHM. Would never have made it without mother and toddler group!!!!
Can't believe there is so little to do for young mothers.
Am questioning the decision now!

Otherside - a big part of the reason why young people stay under the parental roof is because so many of them are unemployed! And for those that do find jobs, salaries are often too low to be able to afford a place of their own. But yes, my DH was totally domestically illiterate when we met - his mother had done every last thing for him and his siblings so I had to teach him everything I knew!

A French friend of mine living in the UK was very happy with her 7-year-old son's schooling the last time we spoke - she loves all the non-academic stuff they do though it took her a while to get used to the very different approach.

Thirtysomething - interesting to hear your experience. The nurseries around here sound similar: one only takes children whose parents work odd hours, another has full time places only and the third is a long way out of my way. I don't want to go back to work just yet, but if I did, I'd be having problems.

I think that belgium is much the same as france in terms of totally absent ante natal facilities, groups and suchlike. I've had my two children here and both times i was v happy to go back to work simply to get some adult company (or company full stop actually). I have no family here and all my friends work full time. It can be very lonely being a SAHM here. I don't think that there's a stigma attached to SAHMs here,I think that the vast majority of families here simply need two incomes, and the cost of childcare isn't prohibitive as it can be in the UK so that is the choice that most mothers seem to make.

I'm an Italian mother raising children in the UK and would probably find the french system more similar to the Italian one. In fact I find getting used to the english one extremely difficult.

BandofMothers - how old are your children? Where were you thinking of moving to?

DD1 is 3 yo, dd2 is 7 mths.
In the Brittany area, not sure exactly where.Prob this time-ish next year, if we go.

We're in Brittany, and my DS is 7 months. We could start a mums and toddlers and stay sane!

That would be amazing. So what's it like there. Are you english. Tell me everything.

Think you said already that you're from uk. Got a bit carried away. Completely forgot about question marks!!! LOL
Most importantly can you get normal tv over there. Ie SKY, or similar, with English channels etc??

Ooooo goodie! Should we email? How do you send private messages?

I have MSN, [email protected]

bandofmothers - just butting in to say you can get sky but prob have to do it slightly illicitly (ie order it through a UK home address but use it in France). I did this when I lived in Switzerland and a friend in Normandy does the same. There's probably a healthy trade in contraband sky dishes so you don't need to worry. And yes, access to British TV is essential to your health and wellbeing, French tv being, well, atrocious.

normal tv?

Sorry franca, normal to me being English, Living tv and sky one etc
Yes have heard there might be something like that mandj
Ab so nec for sanity, as was uk channel when living in States!!!

Margo - no need for illicit Sky! BBC and ITV channels are free via satellite. We just bought a dish and a decoder and got a techie friend to set it up and hey presto, decent TV!

Bandofmothers - have emailed!

< I shouldn't say that, as Italian tv is pretty crap, but french tv did seem to me a bit ahem atrocious....>

that's good news.

when I first got to Switzerland the only UK channel I had was BBC Prime and I nearly lost my mind watching very elderly episodes of Bergerac for weeks on end!

Also, you can tune in to British radio on the internet - a lifesaver when you need some sanity and can turn on R4. That's not to say I never listened to French radio - I rather got into Nostalgie which is a bit like Magic but even naffer! I got to like a lot of French pop - especially the old stuff they play on Nostalgie - but I will never, if I live to be 7000 years old, understand the Johnny Halliday phenomenon. I guess, for that one, you've just got to be French.

LOL mandj. BBCAMERICA, is the uk channel in States obv. Was a life saver but was always showing the same shows all the time. Inc, Red Dwarf-good, Blackadder-good, As time goes by-learned to love it, Ground Force-can't watch it now as was on so much over there, same with Changing rooms. But watched just to hear British accents, as got so sick of American one sometimes.
So sorry to all Americans out there, loved living in US, just sometimes needed to hear a British voice, or Scottish, or even Welsh!!!

Satellite has endless radio stations too - all BBC and lots of independent.

I think it is very different here in france to the uk, there dont seem to be any activities for mothers and toddlers at all. I take my dd's to 'friponet' on a monday and that is all there is, its very friendly and fun for the girls but whereas in the UK when you get friendly with other mums you would go out for coffee together or arrange to meet up that doesnt happen here except with other english mums.

The education standards are a lot better and the children seem very polite and respectful, the french seem very family orientated as well

thank god for sky I can still get my crappy daytime programmes

LOLHelen, that is good to know. As long as there is someone to socialise with I don't really care if they're English or French.

"I will never, if I live to be 7000 years old, understand the Johnny Halliday phenomenon. I guess, for that one, you've just got to be French."
DH is French and we have lots of French friends all equally bewildered by the Johnny phenomenon. I'm a bit out of touch with UK popular culture but I'm sure there are plenty of equivalents.