Cyber Glühwein und Lebkuchen - the German and Austrian advent thread

[admylin]

A thread for anyone living in Germany or Austria, or anyone else who fancies a chat.

Happy first Advent to everyone!

Previous thread: here

Great news outnumbered so please for you all! Hope you are having a good time at the IL's. Agree with whoever else said it's good to know how long is long enough for you.
Although was reading some funny threads on here about people having relatives staying over Christmas and I've heard it before but the comment I loved was
"house guests, like fish, start to go off (or was it smell?) after 3 days"

Hope everyone else is well. Still no baby... Last nights full moon obviously of no use to me. The only thing that has developed is a cold DP now thinks the bean is a girl, because like me she is late and doesn't seem to care

how are you all feeling today grinch? Hope there is some improvement.

ploom did you get your shopping day with dd in today? I hope your fil is better. Not a nice way to end the day.

how did the drive to outnumbered? did the dc sleep lots? Hope so!

Good to hear you are having a good time in London linzer. enjoy the rest of it.

advent we only had to go to the local Zielpunkt (the austrian name for Plus) to get some basics. and we made it round quickly because ds's friend's mother rang to say friend was ready to be picked up. has your dd planned your spread yet? she sounds very sweet! I guess they stay up at new years? good to hear there is still a chance to get a marble run....how many days till next christmas??!?

Thanks for the responses about dd's sore breast. She hasn't complained about it for 2 days, but will watch carefully, and decide what to do next week. all our drs are friendly and female so she would not be embarrassed.

We have spent the morning in a local workshop making Glücksbringer. It was only us and one other little boy and his mum so was quite cosy. Now ds is asleep (he's 5 and still has a nap most days if we are at home ), and the dds are reading- it won't last, but I am enjoying it while it does....

and the sun is shining , finally.

Hello! Another quick post as I am a) sooo tired and b) FIL can't remember the WLAN password. We had the same on our last visit- it took him 2 days to find it. Unfortunately he seems to have changed it since the . Lets are how long it takes him this time.

The drive itself was ok. I did the first leg of the journey, dh the second. Not much traffic, not too much rain. BUT the boys only sleep for 2 hours! it took them 3 hrs to go back to sleep after we left home, and then all woke up after two hours. Even though it was still pitch black outside. And now everyone is obviously very tired and grumpy platanos here it's only ds3 (2) who still naps unfortunately.

Right. Better go. grinch hope you are all better. And nutella hope your cold doesn't get to bad and leaved you alone again quickly!!

Wow Plantanos your 5 year old still naps? :) Lovely :) Mine all stop napping between 18 months and 2, though occasionally my 5 year old flakes out at 5pm (once or twice every 2-3 weeks) but then that's him out for the night and I have to carry his rather solid not so little self up to bed - which is less easy now he has a mid sleeper :) . I think his body just does it to compensate for the fact he's always up at 5am! DD could go 5am to 8pm from 18 months old and still be cheerful! Its a struggle to get our 20 month old to nap and he skips some days despite the very broken nights, but he does nap most days, I don't know how much longer that will last though, I just don't have sleepers! Glad your DD seems to be OK.

My kids did that on our drive to the UK outnumbered though we did the overnight on the ferry so it had to be a day drive - still we hoped they'd sleep, but DD didn't at all and the boys only did for a couple of hours. We have in-car DVD players though, I recommend them if you do the drive regularly :) Hope the boys are cheerful tomorrow and FIL finds the password!

Nutella I was going to say only my girl was late, but then my boys didn't have any choice as they were planned c-sections :) So I don't think that's much to go on! Further from Christmas is surely better though, birthday wise?

Thanks for asking we are all healthy now apart from DH, who still says he is feverish. He spent today sleeping and watching TV on the sofa... I took the older kids and a friend to the cinema but left DS2 with DH. I'd recommend 'Die Hüter des Lichts' for 5-9 year olds or so (its officially a 6 here but a PG in the UK and DS1, who isn't the bravest child, wasn't at all scared - he was also most excited about lying about his age and highly unimpressed that he wasn't asked - he pushed in front of me at the ticket desk and pointed out to the cashier that one ticket was for him, and she just gave him a forced smile - he definitely wanted her to ask his age :o )

Linzer DD is asking about your DD2 and refusing to believe you are still in the UK despite me saying you are!

grinch you word your dc's sleep habits in such a funny and humorous way, but you must be absolutely knackered. There's a German expression I used to describe myself when I was alone during the week with 3 lo's, one who'd wake up screaming several times a night, one who'd fight going to sleep and then got up at 5am every day, and a newborn who wanted to be fed every couple of hours: Ich krieche auf dem Zahnfleisch!

What does your ds1 do when he gets up that early? Does he entertain himself? I seriously am eternally grateful to the gro company as it is only with the Gro clock we have managed to stretch ds1 and then also ds3s to 6.30am instead if 5am. Actually tonight dh has set it to 7am...I can't see it happening though..

Yes we do have DVD player for the car and use it on journeys during the day. But at 1.30am we really just wanted them to go to sleep. We have pretty much decided that on the way home we'll leave after lunch instead. Ds2 can have his nap, and the DVDs will be on. Hopefully traffic won't be too bad.

nutella I like the comparison of house visitors and fish . My pil are just incredibly different to us. And they tend to take over the house. When they are at ours, we are no longer in charge of the remote control. And it has happened on several occasions that they just rearranged furniture or cupboard contents without consulting us. Or FIL thought we needed an additional ceiling light in the kitchen so went out and bought a hidious one and put it up. He did not understand why I wasn't too happy.

FIL has found the password but I've been too lazy to get my net book out.

What are everyone's plans for New Years?

outnumbered I don't think I "get" that phrase - I understand it as "I crawl on my gums" which I would guess might be like "living on your nerves" but there must be something I'm missing! Sleep deprivation is more like a fog to me, I feel numb a lot, sometimes I lose my temper with the kids, but its more often a faint hazy feeling of dislocation and disconnection... sometimes it isn't unpleasant, sometimes I get tearful and fed-up privately , but I don't feel anything very intense, rather the opposite. I do have aches and pains almost all the time which I assume are sleep deprivation related, as surely I am not that old yet! But then again I seem to fight off the viruses and bugs much better than DH, who never gets up in the night, so who knows.

DS1 is mostly good with his early waking - he used to just get up and play in his room - we had a rule that he is not allowed to disturb anyone til he hears the shower (DH gets up for work at 5.45 so that's when he'D hear the shower, and I find that an acceptable time to get up esp as DD has to get up at 6.15 in order to catch the school bus). He was really good at sticking to that, right from when he was about 3.5. The thing is it was really no problem when he had his own room, but he wanted to share with DS2, which seemed a good idea, and initially seemed to be helping DS2 sleep a bit better (I thought having DS1 there asleep but out of reach was possibly reassuring DS2 the first couple of times he woke each night) so that the first time he cried and woke me in the night was getting later, but that has reversed recently and his sleep is terrible again, possibly since the run of illnesses.

I am up now because I only got DS2 to sleep about 15 minutes ago and I just need a little child free interval before I go to bed.

I can't believe your FIL put a new light up in your house! Wow! My MIL cleaned my oven once when she had only gone in the kitchen to take her cake plate, and DH didn't understand why I wasn't pleased... MIL professes she only wants to help, but I am sure I am not a freak in finding it hard to believe that is her pure, selfless motivation (and I do like her, I just think I am realistic!)

The kids are scheduled to stay overnight at the in-laws tomorrow though, so I will get a night's sleep, though I have to take them as DH is still ill... I wonder if they will get DS2 to bed any earlier - he has been more resistant to going down than ever recently, since being kept downstairs when he had the extended period with a high fever and then a week later a vomiting bug, as in both cases I didn't want him out of sight really... Ah well... Am going to try to tackle his sleep somehow after he comes home I think, though I think I've walled myself in somewhat by putting the boys in together...

Evenin all! Did I tell you about the massive box of crisps little bro sent DP for Christmas? (Too lazy to check back... Sorry) anyway, we had our good friends over tonight and we opened some crisps for a taste test I was amazed by what they enjoyed! Bizarre.... Still DP was very happy to enjoy & share his crisp mountain.

grinch I asked DP about outnumbered's phrase and I guess it's close to being at your wits end or working your fingers to the bone... Although I find it an odd phrase and a bit graphic [shudders]< at crawling on gums> wish I could help with sleep strategies for you... Although I can't even get labour started so I'm definitely a long way off being useful for any kind of advice

DP rang BIL today but couldn't reach him (he only wanted to him some advice about something), BIL rang us back and we weren't about... He rang 2 or 3 times on the house phone and left a message that sounded like he was really thought we were having the baby (he was a bit fast and squeaky)... Then about half an hour later MIL called to check everything was OK because BIL had rung PIL because he couldn't reach us yes if one person rings you and doesn't reach you the right thing to do is have someone else try the exact same thing bloomin heck....

All tips for polite ways in German to tell visitors it is time to leave will probably be necessary in the next 7-10 days be gratefully received!

outnumbered I don't get that phrase either - well, I get what it means (like Nutella says, I would use at my wits' end or at the end of my tether), but how is it actually possible to crawl on your gums? Or is it someone else's gums?

Grinch DD1 messaged your DD last night - thanks for the reminder!

DD2, not DD1

Hmm 'at the end of my tether' or any of the other suggestions just does not have the same connotation to it. I don't know how to translate it myself. To me it means being very tired in a mentallay, physically and emotionally. If I 'kriech in Zahnfleisch' i just can't pick myself up to do anything. That time of my life I described (when I referred to that phrase) it wasn't just sleep deprivation by itself that was running me down, but also ds1' autistic behavior which was really starting to show, worry about my mum whose health was deterioting fast, and worry about my dad who suffers from depression at the best if times and I didn't know how he'd cope with my mum's death, and worry about me leaving both my parents behind to move to Kaiserslautern. So maybe one has to have lots of things come together in order to 'get' the meaning of that phrase. OR you just have to be German

I do agree that it's a very graphic phrase, but then, often phrases like that are, aren't they.

Horrible weather here at the IL and I'm quite looking forward to going home again. I really do like my PIL and, more important, the boys live them. But they are hard work and very difficult to have a conversation with. For MIL the only topic used to be moaning about work. Now that gas been exchanged by talk about hospitals, doctors and aches and pains. I find it very depressing. It often surprises me how dh turned out the way he has. He was the first one from the family to ever go to Uni, is very 'weltoffen', tolerant, open minded, interested in everything and you can have great discussions with him. His parents find it very difficult to think about people other than themselves. Them taking over our house and doing things like with the ceiling light, they do mean well. It simply does not even cross their minds that I may have different taste to them, or may not like them changing things in my house without being asked first. but deep down they are good people with very warm hearts. It was easier when we still lived up north too as visits were always shorter but more frequent.

Anyway, ds1 and ds2 are hard work with all the change (or lack) of routine and structure. And it's a nightmare to keep them entertained here as the only room they may play us is the hall and the kitchen. Hopefully the weather will improve over the next few hours so that we can go outside!

Sorry for such a moany and negative post

Hope you managed to get out with the boys in the end outnumbered. When are you setting off home?

nutella a big box of crisps sounds like a great present! Was it a mix of flavours? We found salt and vinager Pringles at Real supermarket so we had that small treat and I'm waiting for a delivery of marmite and branston after new year from friends who drove over to the UK for the holidays!

grinch great that your PIL are having the dc over night. Hope you can manage to get some sleep.

Are any of you buying fireworks for tomorrow night? Just wondering if I'm being a boring mum for not getting any, but I hate them and since the dc told me my sparklers were pathetic last year - I haven't bothered at all!

outnumbered it sounds as if crawling on your gums is a worse state than mere sleep deprivation! :o but also :( - glad you're out of that (psychological) place now!

It sounds hard work at your PIL - I dropped my 3 off at my PIL just before lunch and have been asleep all afternoon. My PIL dedicate themselves utterly to the kids when the have them (FIL took early retirement 2 years ago and MIL hasn't worked in a lot of years) - they have a bedroom which is totally dedicated to the kids (they redecorated it as a room for DS1 and DD before DS2 was born - it has a car bed on one side with a red wall behind (DS1's favourite colour when they decorated, though now he says his favourite colour is black, as he is 5 going on 15 in his clothing and colour palate tastes!) and Lightning McQueen wall stickers, and a white day bed for DD done as a "Princess bed" with a light purple canopy and pink wall behind - reflects their tastes as of a couple of years ago but they still like it :) That room is filled with Barbie and Playmobile which MIL has picked up at Flohmarktes including the Playmobile Pirate ship. They also have huge boxes of Duplo bought in the same way, and all cleaned up to as new type condition or bought that way. The kids are allowed to play in the living room, kitchen and bed/ playroom. Like most people I don't really see eye to eye with MIL but I cannot fault them on how they love and care for our kids, and we are lucky that they are both young for their ages and physically able to care for 3 young kids for a couple of days (I would be nervous leaving all 3 of my kids with my own parents even for an hour and would be relying more on the older 2 to be on absolute best behaviour and look out for the little one, which would be unfair on them! As it is I have never had to do it as they live so far away :) )

I think the inability to empathise and consider that other people may not see everything the same way you do, whilst a life long part of some people's outlook, is something that increase with age for others - I have heard a lot of people say their parents are like that now but didn't used to be. Last time I stayed with my parents was about 3 years ago (we stayed elsewhere last time we visited) but it was so hard as my mother in particular was so utterly unable to contemplate varying her set daily routine, and she wasn't even quite 60 then! The fact my kids get up long before her set 8am clearly really disturbed here even though of course she never offered to get up with them and the house is quite large - but she commented in a long suffering way on having heard them wake up each day!)

Eeek at the over excited family Nutella - and the getting somebody else to phone because you can't get through thing :o It really grates when you are expecting a baby doesn't it, and people feel that they have to know first/ immediately and so keep pestering and barking up the wrong tree!

I thought just after I'd pressed send on my last post that being on your last legs would also be a good translation for auf dem Zahnfleisch kriechen. I still don't quite "get" the imagery, but maybe I'm just trying to understand it too literally! I tried to get DH to explain it to me but he was spectacularly unhelpful and just told me es heißt halt so.

We got back from London earlier after a lovely but quite tiring three days there; I was feeling quite nostalgic towards the end, especially after meeting up with my two friends yesterday. I wouldn't want to live there again but it would be nice to be within day trip distance.

advent we only have the 'jugendfreies feuerwerk' but then ours a still very young and will go to bed at near normal time. I don't think they know what else is on offer yet. I find it all a complete waste of money, but otoh I remember really enjoying it when I was little. I am pretty sure dh at least will cave in when the boys are a bit older.

grinch your pil sound great with the kids!!! My dad was a very hands on dad when we were little, but even with him I wouldn't leave even just one if ours for 24hrs or longer. Mil has had ds1 for 4 days, but that was about 3 years ago! Although they had fun and it went ok, she realised it's hard work and tiring being there for someone all day long. (Really?!? She has mentioned before she'd like ds2 to come to stay (he wouldn't cope though!) but never once suggested having more than one.

Interesting what you said about people becoming like that as they get older. I hope I don't, it's really not a very attractive trait.

linzer I feel the same about London. I could never live there but I would love to live close enough to just go on a day trip or even weekend. Now, the last time I went was when ds1 was 5 weeks old and we had to go to the German embassy for a passport for him!

We are here until Thursday morning/noonish, advent. So another three full days. The rest of the afternoon and evening wasn't too bad though

Waves to everyone else!

Oh nutella I remember random texts as I was getting closer to my due date with ds1, saying things like 'any news yet?!?'. For some reason I didn't get that with subsequent pregnancies.

outnumbered I can well imagine it doesn't happen with the subsequent babies. Although I've been prepping the ILs for many weeks by saying it won't arrive before the new year, I was late, brothers were late etc etc... And then being a bit vague about what the Dr has said (they would definitely trust the opinion of a dr)
Glad to hear things are going ok at the PIL.

grinch that room sounds awesome! I've no idea if the PIL will make so much effort... They have the room to (they don't use the upstairs of their house ) but I think nothing has been decorated/changed since the house was built 20 something years ago...
My mum has a similar belief about people's personality as they age. She believes that strong traits become stronger. So if you were always kind and gentle you'd be kinder and gentler in old age. If you were always a miserable whines bugger then ... Well it just gets worse (I better stop whining now! )

Still no baby and no twinges . Due date was 27th. Had a lovely haircut on the 28th
Slight problem, apparently there isn't enough amniotic fluid around baby so they want to induce...

nutella will they do another scan re the amniotic fluid? How long will they give you before they induce? I was terrified when I was told I would be induced with ds2 (2 weeks early) as I had heard so many stories about labour being more intense and much longer. But that really wasn't the case. My longest and hardest labour was with ds1, and even that wasnt long. Both ds2 and ds3 were both induced and both were quick labours. Anyway, ds3 is wrecking the house so better go..,

grinch how was your night?? I wouldn't be surprised if you were still in bed now enjoy your rare child free and sleep filled days!

We just had a chat with PIL. I got the feeling that us being here was too much for mil, even though the boys are not too bad and she is not really doing much. Anyway, it seems I was right. We are now heading home tomorrow after breakfast instead of Thursday. I'm quite glad as I just want to be back home. Ds2 and ds3 will be glad too. Ds2 is finding it the most difficult adjusting to change this time and has one meltdown after the other. Ds3 is very bored and us starting to turn into a little devil. Ds1 won't be happy about going home as he is a real Oma boy. Luckily we never told the boys when we were planning to go home originally.

Morning!
Just a quickie since I'm on my ipod!

Enjoy the peace & quiet grinch

outnumbered - hope you survive another 3 days there!

linzer - glad you had a good time in London.

advent - we never buy fireworks. The boys will go to bed & I'm contemplating going to bed too & I'm petrified of home fireworks.

nutella - I was induced with all 3 of my dc. I cannot say it was straight forward with dc1 but looking back its because I wasnt forceful enough in saying "hold off with the syntocin & the epidural". I felt thats what led to her being a forceps delivery. With the next 2 I was much more sure I could birth them and they were completely straight forward deliveries. With dc3 they were trying to tell me I might need syntocin but I resisted, went for a huge pee & he was born 1 hour later completely naturally. I think they might be more inclined to give you an epidural here but my advise would be to try for as long as possible without. (just my advice obv - feel free to totally ignore ).

nutella can you ask your midwife to do some more acupuncture? I had it for dd as she was a few days late (due on 3rd and born on 7th) - worth asking maybe?

outnumbered good that you were able to talk to FIL before any of you fell out or got really fed up. My family tend to be the type that doesn't talk about things until they get too bad and ending in (like last time I was there) a blow up and fall out.

Those jugendfrei fireworks are what I bought the last few years since the dc stay up but last year they said they were pathetic as everyone around us on the street were sending up big rockets and we were throwing crackers on the ground! I've stuck to my intention of not buying any at all this year.

ploom that sounds tempting to me too and I'd love to go to bed early tonight but I suppose the rest of them will be up so might as well try and hold out! Dd is making a spread and we saved 2 good dvds that we got at xmas to watch so we'll have a movie night!

Have to go out, last minute dash for a cucumber! Thought we still had one but we made a salad trhe other day but I forgot about that when I was in the shop earlier! The nice thing is, today all the shop assistants are jolly enough to wish you a nice day and guten rutsch.

Nutella My SIL was induced with her DD and said it was much more intense than a "normal" birth, although I'm not quite sure how she knew (it was her DC1). I don't have any experience of being induced (they tried with DS but it didn't work) but I have heard that it can feel more intense as you often miss out on the gradual build-up that a lot of women have.

advent A movie night sounds good; which films will you be watching?

Ploom We'll all be going to bed before midnight too. I don't think we've stayed up to see the New Year in since DD1 was born, although we were up to see the fireworks last year as we were driving home from Munich airport.

outnumbered I know how you feel - I'm looking forward to being back home too. The awful weather means we're more or less stuck indoors most of the time, which is ok for a few days but not ideal for much longer than that.

Thanks everyone! Really nice to bae able to come on here and get some real stories.
It's just so frustrating. The entire pregnancy has been so uneventful I suppose I expected it all to go that way and now I feel a bit disconnected from my body because I have no influence or control over what happens (I 'm sure I was already aware of that fact but now I'm being out and out mocked! ). Also not helped waiting in hospital .

They did a scan on Saturday and Sunday outnumbered DP thought they might scan again today to make sure - he was wrong and now owes me dinner

I've been wondering what a "sweep" would be in German, pretty sure a translation of "are you going to poke me in the cervix" is going to end only in and much .

advent thanks for the acupuncture reminder. Will get DP to ask.

Linzer glad you had a nice Christmas away. Did you stock up on anything in particular while there?

Ploom thank you. It is very disconcerting not knowing the next step. I am having trouble being positive. Probably not helped by being tired, hormonal (no really, pregnant and hormonal I know ) and then getting really annoyed with all the language barriers....

Ok. Going back to concentrating on telling the bean to shift and enjoying some music.

nutella I'm pretty sure they don't do sweeps here. I never went to full term anyway with the 2 I had in Germany, but I be never heard any friends mentioning it either. Re epidural a, I think it depends greatly on the hospital's policy whether. The one I gave birth never offered a PDA or any other pain relief. I could have had it, had I requested it, but they certainly didn't push women to have one. Same as for episiotomies: some hospitals do them almost as soon as they see the women is likely to tear. Others only do it if there is no other way. My SIL is a gyn/obstetrician and she's worked in several different hospitals. Each would handle those things differently. I think you just need to know what you want, or rather what you really don't want.

advent dh' family is the same. They never tell you that something is bothering them. Eventually they just completely explode over something tiny, and it turns out they've been annoyed for a while. The only reason the talk this morning happened is because I asked dh to initiate it! I had the feeling that something was bubbling under the surface again, and it appears I was right.

I slept til lunch time but I needed it - did get woken at 4.30am by DH's terrible snoring, but moved to DD's bed and next woke at 11.30am (and then only because the doorbell was wringing)! It's lovely waking up in a bed without anybody lying on your head and without pins and needles or cramp from having tried not to move all night so as not to wake light sleeping toddler person... :o I do miss them though and want them home now, but they are staying for new year with PIL, who are planning some junior fireworks (probably not at midnight though!)

outnumbered hope the drive home goes well - my parents also don't talk about things until somebody (my mother) ends up crying - queen of emotional blackmail and turning everything around so everyone has to apologies to her to stop her crying - I may be ageist but I really don't think people should get away with that over the age of about 16, let alone in their 60s!

nutella do you have any dates to go back in or for the induction if it has to happen then? I think people's experiences of induction are as varied as of any other type of birth... Good luck! Oh and I read on a Munich specific forum earlier that you can get gas and air here now, you just have to ask for it - apparently most pain relief things are not routinely offered here, but if you ask directly you may well get what you want. My only attempt at a natural birth was in the UK and it ended up as a section anyway, and births here were both sections, so my knowledge is not that useful!

Linzer when do you get back to Germany? I wish I could get to London more often too, DD and I had such a good time there in the summer :)

*ringing - the doorbell clearly wasn't wringing ...

Grinch We fly to Germany on the 2nd, and will then be spending the night at my ILs' before driving home late afternoon on the 3rd.
Glad you got a decent night's sleep; hope your DC enjoy the junior fireworks! Your family sounds uncannily similar to mine, btw.

Nutella You may have seen on FB that I've mainly been stocking up on Fruit & Nut and chocolate hobnobs! I could also do with a big suitcase just for books as I can never resist all the offers at the Book People/the Works/charity shops. At least I've kicked my magazine addiction, although I'll probably buy one for the journey.

I have no idea what sweep is in German and there'd be absolutely no point in asking DH as he's no help with that kind of vocab. I can't remember whether they tried to do anything other than put me on a drip to induce labour, but the consultant decided it wasn't really working (or wasn't working fast enough, at any rate) when he spotted that I was reading during contractions.