Cyber Glühwein und Lebkuchen - the German and Austrian advent thread

[admylin]

A thread for anyone living in Germany or Austria, or anyone else who fancies a chat.

Happy first Advent to everyone!

Previous thread: here

Although on the up side DH's tumble dryer repair worked - ?4 for new bearings and an hour's work by DH taking the thing apart and putting it together, plus a lot of internet research, instead of ?200 for a new fan and ?100 for labour for a professional :o No repair person would just change the bearings, they all insisted you can't take the fan apart and replace them but need a whole new part...

outnumbered That must be quite a worry for you; fingers crossed something turns up for your DH soon. Have fun with the therapy dog!

Grinch I refused to speak in front of the class for my entire time at primary school. I was OK with performing in plays, playing the piano, etc. but couldn't manage to give a talk to the whole class. Thank goodness for the lack of oral participation grades in the UK!

cheas I never had any problems with the academic side of school (apart from being bullied at one school for doing well), it was more the social aspect that was the problem for me. I think the kind of children who get top grades are the kind who will do well academically anyway, no matter what their teachers are like (obviously not saying teachers have no part to play at all!). I did no revision for my French and German A levels/S papers but had done a lot of work independently over the two years (reading books, watching films, etc.) so didn't really need to. I see it with DD2 as well; she's always writing, reading or doing something "productive" at home, so doesn't really need to put in much work at school. I'm sure it will change by the time she gets to secondary level, but she'll probably still need to work far less than DD1 - it all seems quite unfair at times. Not sure what my argument is there; I think I got a bit sidetracked!

Nutella The Indian restaurants I've been to here are all pretty good and similar to what you'd find in the UK, but we have to travel to get to them (to my ILs or into Vienna) so we can't just decide we'd like a takeaway.
I think French and German spelling is far more straightforward than English, although I find myself having to think twice about whether to use ß or ss since the spelling reform - it took me ages to get used to writing dass!

Cheas I just asked DD about the baby language - she laughed at me when I asked her if it was things like Waa-waa for dog :o She gave me the example of having to write a word string (of words that follow the same spelling and sound pattern) and her example was that if they had to start with Hunde they might then write Runde, Kunde, but then make up words like Munde instead of Münde ... I'm not sure that fits my idea of "baby language" though and wasn't what I originally thought she had been talking about! Also she had to explain the ü spelling to me, she's already streets ahead of me in her German spelling, but I kid myself tell myself it re-inforces her learning to explain it to me :o

Hope you feel better soon outnumbered

Linzer my main worry with DD and school (and possibly life in general) is that she is just so slap-dash. Its not lack of ability but lack of focus, but again its a failing I have too. On the one hand being a perfectionist is a hard road to tread and linked to anxiety and so on, being slap dash and laid back may lead to a happier life, but also, like me, she'll probably glide along with above average grades but no focus and relative achadenic sucess won't actually lead to anything... I can try to for-warn her, but maybe not now at age 7! Anyway there are worse things to worry about so I'm not losing sleep! It bothers DH though...

linzer yes, I'm sure the reason I did well academically at school without seeming to try was because I was learning independently at home without classing that as such, not to mention honing memory and concentration skills from a very young age.

grinch ich verstehe nur Bahnhof . Am dreading dd starting school and me having to help her with home-exercises...

Its the home-exercises that are the killer cheas :o I was OK with 1st Klasse work :o Mind you I am hoping DD will spontaneously help the DSs because she loves being a bossy know it all or - I may have to pay her... :)

Sounds like an excellent set up, grinch

I must admit I'm hoping dd doesn't grow out of shouting "nein, du KANNST kein Englisch, nur Mami kann Englisch" at Germans who try to speak to her in English before she starts school.

platanos Thanks for sharing that - really brought a to my face.

Santa It´s really interesting reading your ideas about home schooling. I know it´s something I could never do. I have to say the thought of moving every 18 months would fill me with panic, but then I never moved house at all as a child and have now lived for over 11 years in the same house here. I´m really happy, but it would probably be your idea of hell.

I really enjoyed school, but I was also really shy and I never used to put my hand up. I was really shocked when I found out that oral participation played such a huge role here in Germany. So far dd and ds have had no problems, although I do worry about ds becaused his speech is still so unclear and he may give up trying to make himself understood.

ploom That sounds like a brilliant opportunity. Dh´s practice do studies although one of the Arzthelferinnen carries out the role you´ll be doing. I´m sure you won´t have any problems with the language (unless you have to decipher handwritten notes ).

Grinch German homework is such a nightmare. It does make me smile when the dc roll their eyes and correct my grammar.

outnumbered I´ve got my fingers crossed for your dh. I hope you´re not coming down with a bug just before Christmas.

I finally got round to going to the hairdresser yesterday and learnt the important lesson that you should never to get too engrossed in a trashy magazine when they start blow drying your hair. I looked up after 10 minutes to find she´d managed to give my hair 10 times it´s normal volume. I looked like I was wearing a crash helmet. It was too late to tell her to stop, so I came straight home and flattened it all down with water.

Grinch I've just had to google the plural of Mund (I would have gone for Munde) and am consoling myself with the fact that I rarely need to talk about mouths in the plural so am unlikely to have made a mistake talking to anyone (yes, there are definite downsides to being a perfectionist!).

I meant look up, not google - actually used Leo.

aaarghhh the interwebs stole my post from me!!

Ok a shorter version...
Linzer the indian restaurants here are ok, but not quite as tasty... all a bit more bland and I really love all the side dishes... DP doesn't understand why I want to order a 3rd meal when we already have one for him and one for me :(

cheas your DD sounds very cute and very errr assertive

hupa I always enjoy the washing and blowdrying parts of a visit to the hairdresser. Although I go because I need a cut, of course; I do think it would be awesome to be rich able to go regularly for a wash and blow dry . But yes, I often go home and re-arrange things a little. They can get a bit volume happy :)

I liked school and didn't have to work for decent grades (so I didn't; oops ) but because I lived so far from school I really liked going to school and seeing my friends. I wasn't hugely popular but my small circle and I had fun together. I suppose lessons kind of got in the way of stuff I'd rather be doing . When stuff was too hard to deal with at home school was definitely a good escape for me.

linzer

nutella dd is indeed both cute and developing an assertive streak. She's much harder to deal now with than she ever was as a 2yo, despite what they say about terrible twos. The funny things she says more than make up for it though.

platanos I don't seem to be able to watch that video on the ipad .

Ha ha platanos - that video is funny. I dont think I've ever seen that video before but apart from snow and lots of big hair I dont think I was missing much.

Oh all this talk of indian food is making me want some really badly. cheas tells me there's one in her town but I've still not got round to trying it. Will add that to my resolutions for 2013 . grinch - I'd have been grumpy in that situation if I'd looked forward to indian food then the friend wanted pizza. Its always on my list of things to do when in the UK. I find the chinese food in our local big city better than any I've had in the UK so I'm never desperate for a chinese takeaway (although my local one in my home city has had the same menu since I left 15 years ago so its nice and nostalgic to go there!).

grinch - should we hobble about the thread together moaning about our sore feet? sorry yours isnt better either. Where did you get the insoles from? My physio friends recommended that I see a podiatrist but I cant find one here.

hupa - sorry I laughed out loud at the thought of you and your helmet hair! They are scary places hairdressers .

advent - how is your dd getting on with her brace? Will she be able to eat a Christmas dinner?

Thanks for all the encouragement about the job - I'm sure I'll pick up the terminology quickly and found a webpage yesterday with loads of translations. Also stressing about my level of German though as well. I should be fluent after nearly 4 years here but English is our home language so sometimes can have whole days where I hardly speak any German. I dont want to change it completely tho - it would feel strange to speak to dh in German but I need to do something. I still have terrible trouble with the grammar - if there's a preposition in the sentence then I can normally work out whether its accusative or dative but otherwise I just have to guess. I know accusative is to do with the direct object and dative with the indirect object but that doesnt help me in a sentence. Has anyone got any hints cause this is driving me mad.

My internet has been on and off all day, I give up! Just quick while it's on for 5 minutes - ploom sounds great about the job!
Buried the gerbil today, then took dd to get her xmas shopping, stood for ages talking to the automatic voice of telekom, sent a job application off to Australia (do not fanncy it there, I'm think spiders, heat, snakes or maybe not?), and have fed the family now so it's just a shame I have no glühwein. Hope the internet is better tomorrow.

Ploom, that job sounds cool, hope it works out.

Mmm, Indian. We had this awesome Indian restaurant where we lived in London, I do miss it. And Pizza Express/Strada, and Wagamamas.

Sorry again for not namechecking, need to dash out a reply while DS is distracted! Ok, well, we will ourselves learn as we go along, what works, what doesn't, and we will adapt as necessary. Our current thinking feels that unschooling is a great approach to learning. So we will see how that goes. We will hire tutors at a much later stage, secondary level, IF DS feels he wants one and we aren't managing well enough. Spelling wise, I see that happening naturally, through games such as Scrabble (I love Scrabble). He already uses some Apps on the iPad, moving letters about to make words, he seems a keen learner. He sits with his books, we read, I think spelling will be ok. I don't think it is against the unschooling approach to correct your child, but anyway, I am not saying we are 100% committed to that approach, we will do what is right, as and when.
As for moving and friendships, we will of course see how this goes. We think he will love the lifestyle we have planned, but nothing is set in stone, and we can settle for a few years if he needs it. I think it is good to be able to pick up and go, meet new people. He can keep in touch with anyone through email/Skype, visits. The world is getting smaller. I am not friends with anyone from school, well, Facebook friends, but not close. Lots of children move, and if we stay somewhere, and he has a best friend, there is nothing to say that child won't move. Moving wise, I also am a bit of a homebody, but I want to get out of my comfort zone, and I think travel will be so good for us as individuals, and good for us as a family.

grinch I am sorry your dh got such a measly pay rise. Do you know if it actually works out more than the normal adjustment to inflation? it is such a demotivator isnt it?! I worked for a company in Bavaria for just over a year (actually where I met my dh - two people from North GErmany in Bavaria, and finally I was able to understand someone obviously that was not the only reason we ended up together . anyway, I worked so hard there, did unpaid overtime, fot praise and everything...and then I got the end of year letter where it tells you about payrise etc...and I got something like 800Euros more on my annual pay, before tax!! I held it together while I was at work, but as soon as I got home I burst into tears. It felt like such a slap in my face and really was a motivation killer in my case. I left 6 months later...and took dh with me, back to Wales . It is horrible having to worry about money. do you think your kindergarten would make an exception and allow your ds2 to stay for longer anyway without having to pay? I realise we are very lucky not having to pay for kindergarten at all, apart from around 50Euros per month per child for lunch. Otherwise we'd be even more worried, what with three children currently at kiga. another thing though grinch, isnt your ds a Vorschulkind? even though he's staying an additional year at kiga, he's still a Corschulkind, and should that not make it free for you? dont know how it works in your area, but in Niedersachsen, the Vorschuljahr was free.

advent boo to bad internet connection. we've had a few problems with our local phone and internet provider and I find it very annoying! hope it's back to normal soon. where in Australia did the application go to? we always thought that our next move would be to Australia. I simply love it there and have a few good friends in Brisbane. but sadly there is no chance of that happening as the only way for us to get accepted would be to keep quiet about ds1 and ds2' special needs. and that's just not possible as we would have to be sure of and sort out support for them and us before a move. have you been there yourself? I spent a year there after my Masters. it's such a beautiful place. I am completely scared of spiders and do not particularly like snakes either, but I didnt come acrosse any snakes at all in my entire year, and just a few harmless spiders. The heat you do get used to. I am very very fair skinned and usually stay out of the direct sun even in Germany because it tends to give me headaches. But after a month or so in Oz, and lots of sunscreen, I got used to it. the only places it was tough was arund Darwin and in the OUtback. in my last 2 weeks in Oz I spent 2 weeks in an Outback tour from Darwin via Latherine and Alice Springs to Adelaide, with temperatures above 40 Celsius...and then got on a plane and arrived in Frankfurrt where it was -17celsius! talk about shock to the system!

hupa I too had to laugh out loud at your helmet hair! I'm usually the other way around. when I get back from the hair dressers I try not to touch my hair for days as it is the only times I actually like it. I have hair that isnt straight but isnt curly either. I just dont know what to do with it.

ploom I am probably the worst to ask re German grammar. although I woud think I know more than the average German, having had 9 years of Latin and Grammar being a BIG part of my school life . if you ask me a question about Latin, Ancient Greek or English grammar I am sure I'd be able to help. The way we learnt about accusative and dative in German lessons at school was with the 'questions'. if you ask 'wen' it is accusative, if you ask 'wem' it's dative. although I have heard loads of times that this makes sense to a native speaker but not to someone actually learning the language. sorry I cant help.

cheas ds1 detests non-English speakers speaking English to him. tbh I dont really understand why so mayn Germans feel the need to practise their ENglish on our children either, when it's obvious that they speak German. ds1 isnt quite so blatant about it as your dd though ...he usually just gives them a strange looks, and if he is feeling generous even answers their question...in GErman though!

linzer what IS the plural of Mund? Münder?

dh had another interview today. they decided right there that he'd be bored very quickly in that particular position but must have liked him as they said that there are 2 or 3 positions they could see him in. they have to discuss wit with the CEO and will get back to him next week.

oh, and grinch one of my brothers just fixed their tumble dryer for a acouple of euros as well, when the bosch service team told him that it was not cost effective to repair. their quote was similarly high as yours. hooray to handy men

santa x posts. I am absolutely certain that you will do what is best for your dcs! you have your ideas of what you think is good, but you are open to change your plans if it doesnt seem to be right. what might be right for your ds might not be right for your next dc though. it sound slike your ds is very eager to learn, very into books etc. ds1 is too. by the time he was 2 he knew ALL his colours, recognised his names as well as the names/symbols of most shops, could finish most sentences in his books. he was and still is very inquisitive and books are then one thing where you can actually keep his attention on for longer than 15 mins. ds2 however is completely different. he still only knows a few colours (he is 4, and - according to the non verbal IQ test they did as part of hios autism assessment - has an above average IQ), is not into books (he has a handful of books he wants to read over and over again, his speech still is quite delayed, still in nappies and and and. ds3 is completely different again. he is more into books than ds1, speech is very good, cleary inquisitive and refreshingly into just playing with toys in a way they are meant for. sorry, what I am trying to say is, it's incredible how different children from the same set of parents can be, and how different their needs or 'requirements' will be. what works for one child may be the worst thing ever for the next (like change would be for ds1 and ds2).

I have some rare MNing time in the evening as DH is out at his work Christmas do - I had actually planned to be in bed by now, but somehow I'm still up, pottering around as usual.

outnumbered Sorry to hear that particular position wasn't right for your DH, but it does sound promising - will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Yes, according to Leo the plural is Münder. I'm somewhat reassured by the fact that even you, as a native speaker, weren't too sure.

WhatWould It sounds like a great opportunity for your DS and I'm sure that, as long as you're prepared to be flexible, it will be a great experience for you all. Yes, it's definitely so much easier to keep in touch with family and friends overseas or even just far away with e-mail, FB and the like - although I do miss the excitement of getting proper letters. Having said that, I'm sure I'm in touch with far more people now than I would be if we were restricted to letter-writing.

advent Hope your Internet is back to normal tomorrow; I remember how frustrating it was when ours kept going off. It turned out that the bandwidth wasn't properly adjusted - it happened again recently, they could tell straight away (over the phone) what the problem was and had it fixed within five minutes.

Ploom DD1 has just been learning the different cases like outnumbered said, and I actually find it quite a good way of remembering the difference, e.g. Sie hat mich gesehen. WEN hat sie gesehen? (mich) = accusative / Sie hat es mir gegeben. WEM hat sie es gegeben? (mir) = dative.

I do find the different ordering of the cases very confusing, e.g. 4. Fall is, I think, accusative (whereas I learnt the order nominative, accusative, genitive, dative, so it would be dative for me), but that's probably only an issue if you've studied German at school/university in the UK and I'm probably confusing the issue even more now.

cheas I couldn't watch the video on my phone either; not sure if it's something to do with the Flash player, which I don't think works with Apple products (not iPhone/iPod/iPad, at any rate).

Nutella I'm not sure whether Indian food is blander here, but it's definitely less spicy - which is good for me, as I don't like very hot food.

I would love to have my hair washed and blow dried every week - it lasts so much longer than when I do it myself (and I hate washing and drying my hair, as it's so time-consuming). I must admit that I've been collecting ?4-off-a-wash-and-blowdry vouchers for the hairdressers I normally go to and I have enough to go once a week in January and February - but it feels ridiculously extravagant. It would save me hours and hours, though.

linzer I had to think for a minute then. but yes you are right. in all languages I learnt whilst at school in Germany, the order was nominative, genitive, dative, accusative plus a few more

Thanks, out and Linzer. Yes, we are very flexible and open.
And yes, out, totally agree they are all different, and we will have to see what kind of child we get next. This one knows all the colours too. For St.Nick's day this month, his gift was this wonderful book: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1419703293/ref=oh_details_o00_s01_i01. It's lovely!

Linzer, I am one of those freaks who really does not like going to the hairdressers. I prefer the dentist!

And yes, the Internet means it is easy to be in touch, wherever in the world you are. Who knows what they'll invent during the next few years!

out, that pay rise was mean! Very well done for telling them to shove their stupid job!

santa I really enjoy being at the hairdressers, love having my hair washed and massaged etc. I just don't get why hairdressers feel that they HAVE to talk about private lives with strangers. I'd be happy to just sit there in silence!

just a quick hello from me as I am running out of time today.

I think I posted a preposition thing on your facebook page ploom, though I have got a little confused about who is who on FB recently! That job sounds perfect - congrats!

I am also hungry for a decent Indian though fortunately some friends are organising a curry night for Saturday so I will be making one and other (British) friends will be bringing stuff too.

Homeschooling is of course very popular in the States as no religion is allowed and also here in Oregon, if you live out on a ranch you can be so isolated that going to school every day is not feasible. Some of the places in town like the music school and the pottery studio run classes specifically for home school kids. Even though I am a teacher I don't think I would manage it. School definitely suits dd and will suit ds2's personality too. Really not sure about ds1 at the moment and his behaviour is increasingly concerning me. I moved around a lot as a child till I was 12 and it has left me feeling rootless. Dh lived in the same house from the age of 3 and has proper roots in his tiny, remote village and I just don't have the same feeling towards 'home'. I always feel like I should be moving somewhere else.

Waving to everyone else. Hoping feet get better, interviews are successful, trips run smoothly, births go safely according to plan! Sorry for not namechecking everyone but have to go and get ds1 now. Always on the run!

Hi outnumbered I would prefer to sit in silence reading a book at the hairdressers too :) Sorry your DH got turned down for that job, but fingers crossed something else at that company might be suggested - in the long run there is no point being in a deeply unsatisfying position but it must be so worrying to be without any job.

No, Kindergarten isn't free for anyone in Bavaria as far as I know, if it is then probably for Hertz 4, but not just based on child's age. Although like most people we worry about money we are on an above average income so would have no grounds to ask for freebies! Also the attitude here is very much that if mum is at home you don't need any extra hours - I did ask if DD could start at 2.5 because at that point I was having (groundless) worries that her German might need it in order to be native speaker by the time it mattered, but the answer was an immediate no, you'Re at home with the baby, no KiGa place would be available in your case til she's 3, once she's 3 then you'll be heartily welcome :) ) there is always a shortage of extra hours places and they ask you why you want them, though they were perfectly happy with my explanation that it was just to fit around Anna at school - if somebody had needed the hours for working I wouldn't have got them of course. It is true, I don't remotely need DS1 to be at KiGa the extra 2 hours, and they are just free play time so I doubt he gets any great educational benefit, and his German is already up to scratch - it's purely convenience for me, and mildly irritating to have DH (who it doesn't affect at all) telling me its an area we need to cut back - but he is right, it is a luxury and unnecessary. Perhaps fewer hours will actually be better for DS1, although he enjoys KiGa, because he does get very over tired by mid week, which can be seen in his more frequent melt downs!

Hupa :o oops at helmet hair!

Jenny I feel rootless like you for similar reasons - my parents moved about every year or two until I was 5, for my dad's job, then they settled somewhere I was very happy, but then they moved again (permanently) when I was 7 and I never really fitted in or felt at home in the new place, and don't remotely think of it as "home", never did, not when I lived there nor when I went away on gap years or to uni, especially not now - I've always thought of it as where my parents live, which is not the same thing! DH feels rooted where he grew up although he only moved there at age 5, though he didn't move as much before hand, just once as a baby. TBH I think it also has a lot to do with the fact his parents sent him to the local Kindergarten and school, where mine were always trying to do better and sent us to church and private schools a distance away, marking us out as very different to the few kids who did live locally, and who all went to the local schools and thought we were "stuck up" for going to different ones.

Argh just seen the time, back to reply to others later!

Grinch What's Hertz 4? I always read at the hairdresser's - as soon as I sit down, they ask me whether I'd like something to read and I say, "Actually, I've got a book with me."

Jenny Mmm, curry night sounds good! Even though we only moved twice when I was growing up, I still don't really know where I'm "from" and don't really feel I belong anywhere - the matter being complicated by the second move being between countries (in the UK). I also remember feeling a little traumatised by the primary school move (though was glad to change secondary schools) and decided that once the DC had started school, we would stay put if at all possible. DD1 doesn't cope well with change and DD2 is so happy at school and has so many friends there that I would hate to move her.

WhatWould I don't mind the dentist - not if it's just a check-up, at least; am not quite as keen on the hygienist particularly if it means I can't drink coffee for the rest of the morning. I never used to like going to the hairdresser's as I'm not good at hairdresser talk/small talk in German, but I do like having swishy hair afterwards.

outnumbered Four cases was enough for me! (Did you do Latin as well, then?) No, actually I was a bit strange and really enjoyed learning about German grammar, although I think I've picked up far more just by being in the country and speaking the language. I don't think chanting "der, die, das, die - den, die, das, die - dem, der, dem, den etc." has ever helped me in any real life situation!

Last day of school here today; DD2 and DS have started the morning with a church service, whereas DD1's school day ends with a service. She'll be out of church (which is next to the school) at 12 pm, so they'll all be able to walk home together for the first time ever.

grinch the reason the Vorschuljahr is free in Niedersachsen is because patents don't have a choice whether to send their child to kiga. Children in the Vorschulalter HAVE to go and therefore aren't expected to pay for it. Odd (and annoying for you) that the Bavarians handle it differently.

My dh income is also above average. But we still don't have money to put aside for holidays or let alone savings. I guess it's just having three children and being a sahm.

I know how you feel about dh' claiming something is not necessary, when the result does not effect them. I have that with my dh as well, most recently when we were discussing school choices for ds1. I wanted him at the ganztagsschule where they have structured school hours until 4pm (although lessons end at the normal times). I wanted him there because a) his kiga has similar hours to that and he'd be bored at home all afternoon, b) I can't cope with him being home all afternoon with the other two and I can't remember what else now... Dh said ganztagsschule wasn't necessary as after all I am home all day anyway and he'd rather have him at a different one closer to home where they also have a G&t program. Anyway, I did convince him that I know better what's necessary and what isn't, as I am the one alone with them. Especially if he starts a new job where I will be completely on my own during the week.

linzer Latin was actually my first foreign language which I started in 5. klasse and took it up to A'level. I also have the Graecum, which would be something like AS level, in Ancient Greek. I was always good at, and enjoyed, memorising grammar and vocab.

jenny curry night sounds great