Schenk ein den Wein - as autumn comes to Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

Der Nebel steigt, es fällt das Laub;
schenk ein den Wein, den holden!
Wir wollen uns den grauen Tag
vergolden, ja vergolden!

A thread for all those living in Germany and Austria, and anyone else who would like to chat.

Always good to have an excuse to open some , and this poem seemed quite appropriate!

X-post, Linzer! It sounds like this lesson was harder work - four lively five-year olds - you must be very patient! The trip away sounds like a nice birthday present. Do you already know what sort of meal you're going for? (If I remember correctly, you're quite a fan of Indian, aren't you?)

oh Canella that would be lovely. Not really sure what sort of magazines there are now, but anything from home would be nice. doesn't even have to be anything new.. I used to like reading the Jetzt magazine that came with the Sueddeutsche Zeitung, but they stopped that years ago (and the people behind it made a new magazine called Neon, I think, but afaik that is more aimed at teenagers and students..) would you like anything from the UK in return? No worries about flippancy, you are not expected to be psychic :)

linzer I think I am who you think I am :o and yes, DS2 is 5 months old, twins are due a couple of weeks after his first birthday. I shall not be trusting the contraceptive pill again.

hi alligator and coco!

Sorry coco, didn't see your post when I posted before. Yes, we're in Baden which is about 30 km south of Vienna - 25 mins on the train or (if you're feeling masochistic) an hour on the Badner Bahn. Let me know if you do feel like a trip out here at any point. Whereabouts are you in Vienna? I used to go into the city a lot when the DC was little as there's virtually no expat community out here, but now that we're past the baby/toddler group stage there aren't really any English-language activities to take them to any more. I've been in Austria for eight years now and feel quite settled here now; I can't really imagine moving back to the UK any more.

Later Glad to hear the feeding is sorting itself out and that you're managing to get a bit of sleep. Re the meal, sadly there are no Indian restaurants where we live so we're going to a new Greek restaurant, which is supposed to be very good. If I'd thought, we could have gone to an Indian restaurant in Vienna - especially as I'll be going to the Greek restaurant again a few days later with friends - but I think DH has already booked. Oh well, I'm sure we'll be able to have a few Indian meals in London!

Ivy I know a surprising number of people whose third children have been an accident - including my gynaecologist. Talking of multiple pregnancies, here's a story to make you laugh at how stupid I must have sounded. A friend of mine has triplets (born by IVF) and I was nosily asking her if she'd had three eggs implanted (they probably wouldn't implant more than three anyway, would they?). However, not being sure of the German for "to implant", I tailed off after mumbling something about three eggs (the verb being at the end of the sentence is quite handy sometimes). She said, "Oh yes, thank goodness, they all had their own placentas." It was only after the conversation had moved on that I realised she must have thought I was asking if they were identical or non-identical. She has two (not very similar looking) girls and a boy.

:o

Hi ivy, home sickness is awful isn't it? It just hits you and you usually just have to wait til it goes away. That's how I remember it. Haven't had it for a while even though we've ran out of marmite! I agree with canella though, you've got alot to contend with - maybe you're actually still in shock? I would be!

We could start a list of things that bug us in Germany/Austria if you like, we haven't had a good moan for a while.

Linzer, Greek restaurant sounds good, they don't have alot of vegetarian choices but the salads are nice!

Later, you asked where we're off to. We're going to Dhaka in Bangladesh where dh's mum lives and 3 brothers and 3 sisters so great for the dc to meet aunties, uncles and cousins - and grandma. It'll be a culture shock for the dc as they were too small last time we went, to realise what was going on around them.

It was hard enough for me seeing all the poverty on the streets and dh's family had servants, some very young and it took me a while to understand it was better to have children as servants to give them a roof over their heads rather than be on the streets. No support for the poor from government etc. Dh's mum sends them to school too. We're using half of our luggage allowance to take clothes and shoes for MIL to hand out to the poor in her neighbourhood and BIL supports an orphange so we've got lots of small toys and pens and pencils for there. I'm exhausted just thinking about it all, that's why I'm planning so far ahead so we don't forget anyone or anything that could help.

To avoid future embarrassment when interrogating parents of IVF children, I have discovered that the word I should have used is "einsetzen". (Which is also what you do with the coil - a multitude of gynaecological uses!)

PM me your address Ivy and I'll post you some magazines. Silken can vouch that I'm a real person and not some random hairy old man who's going to do bad things with your address!!

Oh and I'm another person who had a 3rd child due to a contraceptive failure. After the first scan of dc3 I had to say to the doc "i really dont understand how I'm pregnant" . I meant in that we'd bern using condoms but think he thought I'd missed sex ed at school!

arf I had that discussion with a gynae once when I was hospitalised with huge cysts..
"so, what contraception are you using?"
"none." (we were ttc)
"you really must sort that out, you can get pregnant, you know."

canella I am on my phone, so I'll have to work out how to pm you.
thank you :)

hello coco and ivy! Sorry to hear you are homesick ivy. I have been away from home (in my case spain) for 20 years and still miss it. Especially at key moments in life. I think being pregnant with twins when you already have two, and one of them being a baby, is a key moment in your life. wow - lots to deal with. Pm your address and i can send you some austrian specialties, or better still pm some of your favourite things and I can see if I can find them here. Agian Linzer can vouch I am real. Bit hairy, random and old though!

coco - Nice to have someone else from vienna on the thread! Wherabouts are you? I never joined the Vienna Babies Club, I meant to go to the meetings but life just got in the way. I wish I had done because I would now know more people. Also, I always find it great to spend time with people who have older children - I like a little warning about what might hit me next! At the Kinderarzt the other day I noticed signs for this group: bfamily.at/en/activities-for-adults-and-kids which looks good.

Linzer - einsetzen noted. :)

Our tonsil operation was cancelled. We went in on sunday afternoon, successfully made the camp bed (only after 8pm as instructed), spent the night there (did not sleep at all:my cough, little 4 yr old snoring like an old man (clearly needed something removed, poor pet), and dd not being able to sleep) and in the morning dd had a fever so they could not operate. They sent us to the Kinderarzt, all is clear, fever had gone...couple of drs said that it could be because she was so nervous. So, I have to phone for another appointment but this time I am not going in the night before...they did nothing to her, just wanted to make sure she had an empty tummy. I think she would be more relaxed if we had spent the night at home. I think the US 5 hours would suit her better, jenny.

admylin - seeing that contrast must be hard. Are your dc excited to be going?

oops, just realised how late it is and I should be getting my lot ready to leave the house...Hello to everyone else! Have a nice day all!

Platanos. could you ask if the would do the operation and then send you home? Sometimes I think (and dh says it's true in his department) that hospitals decide these things depending on how full they are and how much they can earn

They operated on dd's hands when she was 3 and I took her home the same day. She slept for ages and I had to constantly be there to give drinks and feed her but otherwise we were told to go to the Notarzt if she got a fever.

Thanks for the music reading tips. I'm sure I was taught it at school too but it's something you forget if you don't play an instrument. Infact I don't see the point in learning it if you aren't going to use it somehow or have I missed something?

Ivy hope you're feeling abit better today.

Platanos, yes the dc are excited to see their big family (they only remember 1 aunty and 2 cousins because they visited us in germany once) over there.

So, has anyone ever had a samsonite suitcase repaired? Just found that the lock is broken on our big case so I have to try and get it fixed or we have to buy a new one.

Morning all,

We've never needed to have our Samsonite suitcases repaired so I'm afraid I'm no help with your question, admylin - how annoying that you discover the lock is broken just before your holiday.

Re reading music, I do find it useful sometimes when, for example, DS brings home songs from KiGa with the notes included, or we're singing hymns in church (haven't been for ages, but we'll have to start going regularly again soon with DD2's first communion coming up next spring), or sometimes the DDs bring home songs from school. So not essential but it is handy from time to time.

platanos Oh no, what a pain that the operation was cancelled and you went through all the preparations (incl. camp bed assembly!) for nothing. Sounds like a good idea to spend the night before at home if they're not actually doing anything - at least you'll know next time.
Btw I certainly wouldn't describe you as hairy or random, and if you're old then I am too - am currently trying to enjoy the last few days of my thirties!

DS has to go for his Zeckenimpfung this afternoon and is absolutely terrified; he keeps on bursting into tears whenever it's mentioned/he remembers. The only way I could get him to calm down was by agreeing that we'd tell the doctor he doesn't want to have an injection; I didn't really want to say that it wouldn't make any difference as it would have set him off again, and I needed to get them all off to school and KiGa. Besides, it's not as if I'm lying to him - I will tell the doctor he doesn't want to have the jab...

oh thats rubbish platanos that the op was cancelled. And its so stressful for your dd (esp the empty tummy bit). Hope you have no trouble getting it rescheduled.

linzer - I agree its not lying......he can tell the doctor he doesnt want it but doubt the doctor will hear him! think we're going to start the Zeckenimpfung for all the family - ticks are rife here and we're in a FSME area (is that the right initials??). But dd is the same as your ds - she is old enough to understand what an injection is! Is it a course of 3 injections?

admylin - never had a samsonite suitcase. sorry. Can you look on their website? I imagine its going to be a complete culture shock for your dc when you go to Bangladesh. Really like that you're taking supplies for the local children - they sound like they really need them.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my really good friend dying. Even though she's in my thoughts lots, it always hits me hard today and tomorrow. She died really late at night (completely unexpectedly) on the 5th so although today is the anniversary, I always remember how awful it was the next day being told she had died. But some friends are going to the cemetery and will lay some flowers from me. Will email her dh too in a bit. Just a bit today.

So sorry to hear about the anniversary Canella; I remember you mentioning your friend before. I still remember the phone call I received nearly two years ago telling me a good friend of mine had died; in many ways I still can't take it in (she'd been ill for a while, although I hadn't realised quite how serious it was). Just so tragic when someone dies at such a young age - she had young DC as well, didn't she? Thinking of you today. x

Yes, the FSME jab (I always have to think about the initials too!) is a course of three injections - the second a month after the first and the third a year later - and it's the third for DS today. Then it's boosters every 3-5 years, so I should check the rest of us are up-to-date (I suspect DH isn't, but he can't find his Impfpass; if only he would listen to me and declutter his paperwork!).

I think thats how I feel too linzer - I still cant take it in. People our age just shouldnt die. Did your friend have dc too? My friend was the healthiest person I knew - she only ever had a cold - nothing more serious. So to then die so unexpectedly makes it all seem so unreal. Her dc were only 5 and 3 at the time. so so sad. But her dh is amazing - he copes so well with the dc and her family still help with them. They visited us here last year and were such beautiful, well behaved dc. So unfair tho that they have to grow up without their mum.

thanks for the impfung info - will make appts for us all when I book ds2's U9 in a few weeks.

It's so unfair, isn't it? It sounds like your friend's DH is coping incredibly well and that their DC are a credit to both of them. Just so sad to think of them growing up without their mum, though.

Yes, my friend had a 10 year old and a 7 year old when she died; she also had a third DC with the same illness as her (mitochondria) who'd died at 9 months a few years previously. I've been thinking about her a lot over the last few days as it would have been her birthday on Monday (same day as mine). An old school friend of mine is also struggling to cope with her upcoming 40th birthday as her twin brother died last year, and doesn't know whether she should celebrate or ignore it. There just seems to be so much sadness around at the moment. (My texts to my bereaved friend still aren't getting through, but I've just found her e-mail address - have never e-mailed her before - so have e-mailed her and hope that gets through.)

Canella sorry to hear about your friend. Take care of yourself today.

Linzer that book was Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra. I've just been flicking through it and can't find any use of handy (just mobile), but it's nearly 1000 pages and I think it was one character, or maybe a group of characters, that used the word. Or I dreamt it .

Hi, coco and ivy and everyone else. I'm sorry I can't do any more personals today, we're setting off for the UK after work and I still have to pack (everything is laid out on the bed), get some photos of the build printed, teach an English lesson, pick dd up from kiga and possibly clean the flat if there's any time left.

Hope everyone has a good weekend/rest of week.

Thanks Linzer & Silken. Have a fab trip.

Just got a letter asking whether I want to top up my National Insurance contributions in the UK to get a state pension - have no idea if I do! It says I've got 17 years but I'd need 30 years - seems I could be topping up for a while!! Will need to talk about it to dh later. What do you all do aboit it?

Have a great trip, silken.

Canella I'm not an expert, but I personally wouldn't bother as I don't think the state pension will be worth much when we finally get round to drawing it. DH had a similar issue recently when he was asked if he wanted to top up his state pension here, but decided against it for the same reason. I don't think it's particularly cheap to top up your UK pension, either; my dad paid a couple of years' worth for my brother, but it was a bit of a waste of money as he hasn't earned enough to cover his contributions since then.

My lesson planning for school tomorrow got postponed as some urgent work arrived. It's done now, and I've learned a new phrase: "die blaue Zeit" (used to describe a kind of cocktail hour). I'd been imagining the restaurant bathed in a flattering blue light in the evenings, but decided I'd better google it and found this rather poetic description: "Schwebezustand zwischen den Welten, zwischen Tag und Nacht, die, oft beschrieben als die blaue Zeit, die die Gedanken schweifen lässt". Man lernt nie aus. (Actually, I wonder whether they're just encouraging their customers to get drunk.)

I was also having a look at the cinema programme in Linz to see whether there are any decent OV films on that might encourage me to go and visit my ILs. (I'd really like to see One Day and The Help, but no sign of either of them.) However, I did discover a film about renewable energies, which I made the mistake of telling DH about. It's called Is eh ois da, so I think it might be an Austrian film.

That was my initial reaction Linzer - they want £660 a year to top it up. I've also got some in a NHS pot from my years working and a private one here so think that'll have to do. Feels weird to be talking about pensions when I still feel 25 in my head most days.

Think i'll give your renewable energy film a miss!!! but i'd also like to see One Day. Saw "love & other drugs" with Anne Hathaway in it - saw way way too much of Anne Hathaway but the film was ok. Best film i've seen on DVD recently is "just go with it" with Jennifer Aniston. Was very very funny.

Canella, I've just filled out a few forms for the German Rentenversicherung with the help of a rentenversicherung man and it seems you get quite a few 'points' or whatever it is angerechnet per dc for the first 10 years. It's a shame you're not registered on the German public scheme as you'd have quite a few years left for ds2.

Linzer, Is eh ois da - what does that translate to then? I could do with a good film, haven't watched anything decent for ages. German x-factor is our weekly highlight at the moment! Good idea to tell the doctor ds doesn't want an Impfung - then the doctor can be the bad guy when he does it anyway, or maybe he has some good way of talking dc into these kind of things!

They can't fix my suitcase here, so looks as if we'll have to risk just locking it with one of those straps with number lock on or buy new. Samsonite do repairs but not here so too late. Typical.

Someone put the housekey in the downstairs door and it broke off so they just left it and didn't own up. The caretaker had to change it but only gave each flat 2 new keys. That's no good for us as we're 4 people coming and going at different times so now I've had to fork out for 2 copies.

Also just got the long awaited appointment to discuss funding dd's dyslexia course and it's when we're away. Honestly first time in over 2 years we go abroad and it falls that date! Phoned to beg for new appointment and the man isn't available until next week.

Feel so sorry for dd as she had her first Klassenarbeit in Deutsch today with no anerkennung of her dyslexia so she'll be lucky to get a 4. Gave myself a headache thinking how unfair this teacher is - imagine if the dyslexia funding is turned down, it'll cost a fortune to pay for and we will be on a long waiting list anyway as the therapy peoople have to give dc who have state funding first choice of free places. Feel like I should be doing more to get the ball rolling but what else can I do?

Canella Have just thought that maybe your years working in the UK would count towards your pension in Germany - I'm pretty sure that DH's years working in Germany count here (some kind of EU-wide agreement, I think). Oh, have just read that you don't have a public pension in Germany, so that probably doesn't apply.

Just can't understand why you wouldn't want to watch Is eh ois da, though. (Translation into Hochdeutsch: Ist eh alles da? If eh is actually used in Hochdeutsch... I wrote eh in an essay at university once and the lecturer put a large ring round it and drew several question marks!)

admylin How frustrating about the dyslexia funding appointment, and even more so about her dyslexia still not being recognised by the school. You've done so much already; I can't imagine there's much more left that you can do. All so annoying, though.

Am trying to supervise homework at the moment, but DD1 is being an absolute nightmare - not concentrating, trying to get out of doing it at all, writing really sloppily so DH is bound to get her to do it all over again this evening anyway (as well as doing extra revision), etc etc. If I try to correct her, she just shouts at me. I'd be quite tempted to leave her to it, but DH wouldn't be happy. (She's just told me "Mummy, it's my homework, not your homework.") She and DD2 keep winding each other up too, and it's driving me mad.

Oh dear, sounds familiar. Ds doesn't like it if I correct his mistakes but luckily he doesn't make too many. Dd on the other hand is a perfectionist so will often tear her work up and start again if she thinks it's too messy which then takes ages, and she can spend 20 minutes staring into the air while sitting at her desk.

I'll ask the psychologist tomorrow about what else I should do to get the dyslexia recognised. Dd is at her session to try and help her speak more in school - she doesn't like it but she only has 1 more session then we've atleast tried it.

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the link platanos - this group looks good and they even have a 'mummy and baby improve your german' get together that might be good. Have emailed them to find out. Its not far for me either I think - we're in the 14th district. Its great that there are others in Vienna too! Linzer would love to brave a trip to Baden at some point, but at the moment I'm only managing being out and about with ds between feeds (told you I was a novice...) so will try to work out how to be a bit more organised. I even have my trusty english motor with me, but haven't yet braved driving here.

Have my first appointment with a doctor here tomorrow for ds. I'm feeling a bit rubbish about the feeding thing too, admylin, canella. I tried and tried to bf but it was so painful and ds still lost loads of weight after he was born and we ended up in hospital with the doctors advising me to top up with bottles - since then I just haven't been able to keep up with him with bf and so he prefers a bottle all the time. Not sure whether to give up or to keep trying - the midwife made it really clear in england that i had to keep bfing so not sure what the opinion is here. I just don't get how something so natural is so hard.

Had a bit of a trip out today on the tube seeing as I think this is the last few days of nice weather - forgot to validate my ticket on the way back and had a bit of a panic that i was going to get arrested or something, and how i wouldn't be able to explain myself. Luckily the train was pretty empty but I guess that's a lesson learnt!

Oh coco I could have written your post about BF after dd was born. It is entirely up to you whether you bf or not. It is the best way to feed your dc.......but only if it is going ok. Otherwise it is most definitely not the best way - your baby isnt getting enough and you're getting stressed. Speak to the doctor tomo - if you want to carry on BF then maybe there'll be a BF nurse who could support you thro these tricky few weeks but if you want to FF then thats ok too. Please dont be too hard on yourself.