Schenk ein den Wein - as autumn comes to Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

Der Nebel steigt, es fällt das Laub;
schenk ein den Wein, den holden!
Wir wollen uns den grauen Tag
vergolden, ja vergolden!

A thread for all those living in Germany and Austria, and anyone else who would like to chat.

Always good to have an excuse to open some , and this poem seemed quite appropriate!

Congratulations - what fantastic news .
I´m so pleased your mum got to see him before flying back.

Congratulations on the birth of baby James, Later! So great that your Mum got to meet him!

Been a bit busy here with ds1's birthday. He had a great time running around the play centre in the pizza place. The weather has been gorgeous, still hovering around 30, but will drop a lot next week. Just getting ready for my French and German courses to start again next week. Sounds like you've got the beginnings of a language school going Linzer!

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Hello all!

Congratulations Later! Love the name too. Good that you did not have to wait too long for little one to come. Enjoy him!

I don't even know where the photos of dc3 are - we had gone digital by then and when he was 1 we moved abroad, and then moved here when he was 2. I hope they are on some DVD somewhere. I keep meaning to print photos out- call me old fashoned, but having them on the computer is just not the same thing for me!

Linzer - wow! glad to hear your english classes are building up, and funny that your dd is going to english classes.

canella- sorry to read about you losing your mum so young.

Gymnasium scares me here a bit. Not told dd about my fears though.

Anyone got any experience or ideas of mediation/conflict resolution in schools? A parent in dd1 school spent last year writing letter after letter to the Schulrat to complain about the class teacher. Last year the parents were not formally informed of anything, but the Director mentioned it to one parent (bit unprofessional but there you go) and some parents wrote letters of support of the teacher. Another letter has been written and is now being made official to parents - as one of the Elternvertreterin I have to do something about it. What worries me is that it seems to be turning into an "us" verus "bad parent" business. And I just wonder whether us all sitting round and talking about it might help. I can't approach the parent directly because officially I am not allowed to know who it is (though director also mentioned names ). The other parents I have spoken to don't think this will help, but then it has not been tried...maybe I am too naive. IMO she is a good teacher, young and in her fourth year of teaching, and does a lot of extra things with the children. I have yet to see the letters of complaint but it seems that anything she does above the call of duty is criticized.

have a good weekend all!

Well the birth was surprisingly quick, but very intense. I'm still not convinced half of the noise actually came from me :)
I woke up on Sunday about 8.30 with period pain, which turned out to be the first contraction, after half an hour they were coming every 10 minutes and my waters were slowly breaking, so I jumped in the shower (not sure why that was my priority!) and made it to the hospital by about 10.30.
The midwife examined me, the Dr wasn't sure she would have time to do an ultrasound - a comment which put the fear of God into me, and by 13.30 James was born! I had a painkiller on a drip, but I have no idea what it was, and it certainly didn't kill any pain. I think the thing that helped was a drip to encourage the contractions as he got a bit stuck at one point and DH thinks things really sped up after they pumped me with that.
So all in all a quick and uncomplicated birth (as the Dr predicted!) and a yummy baby at the end of it! Although he had a nice cone-shaped head for the first day or two and wasn't taking any milk so was ridiculously skinny and tiny, but now he is fine and getting chubbier by the day.

Now to work out how to post a picture...

Sorry I haven't had chance to catch up on individual posts, but I hope everyone is well. Thank you for the lovely messages of congratulations!

Ok, the pictures are uploaded!

He's gorgeous Later - enjoy him!

Sorry platanos, have no advice to give on that, except that it sounds unprofessional and really awkward for you.

Sorry about your Mum, Canella.

You will all laugh, but I went to Oktoberfest downtown tonight! There was an Oompah Band but it wasn't quite the same! Fun though!

Aw he's adorable!!! I just love his little chubby cheeks! Hope you're getting some rest!

Thank you for the sympathies but it was such a long time ago that it doesnt affect me so much. Was only upsetting last year when dd was 9 and I was horrified that something was going to happen to me. But still here!!!

Off to the pool this morning - ds2 has started swimming lessons and to get that Seepferdchen he needs to go under the water! He can jump in from the side and go under but wont voluntarily do it so we're off to practice. But really as long as he learns to swim he wont be too upset if he doesnt get the badge. But I want him to give it a try.

Hope all your weather is as nice as ours. Proper indian summer.

What lovely photos Later; he's just adorable. Glad to hear that your labour was quick and uncomplicated too.

Hope the swimming goes well, Canella. Lovely warm weather here too - which reminds me, not sure whether it's just the Germans and Austrians that I've met but they all seem to think that Indian summer refers to the autumn colours in the USA. It used to drive me mad and I would end up saying things like "no, it wasn't an Indian summer because it wasn't very warm but the colours were lovely"!

The Oktoberfest sounds like good fun, Jenny. I used to think it was funny that the children's music classes where we lived in Pennsylvania were called Kindermusik.

platanos Sorry, no advice to give either but it does sound very tricky. A lot of parents were complaining about one of the Werklehrerinnen at our school a few years ago and the way she treated the children; we were all sent an e-mail and were asked to sign a petition against her (but we didn't as I don't think DD1 ever had her and she'd certainly never complained about her), but I'm not sure what the outcome was. She was off sick for a few months (not sure if that was related) but is back at school now. DD2 is due to have her next semester so it will be interesting to see what she says about her.

The funeral on Friday went as well as these kinds of things can go, I suppose; both my friend and her daughter were amazingly strong and composed, but it just broke my heart to see them sitting at the front of the congregation and I could hardly look at them. The service was certainly different; it was held in the chapel at the cemetery, but there was no priest - just a few speeches and lots of music (almost all spirituals - it was very strange to see and hear them being sung by a group of mainly middle-aged Austrians). I find the receiving line thing you have at funerals here (not sure if they have them in Britain too? the last funeral I went to in the UK was about 30 years ago) so awkward too; what on earth do you say to a 9 year old girl who's just lost her father? DH helpfully told me that "mein Beileid" wouldn't be appropriate but didn't have any other suggestions.

Adorable baby Later! Enjoy the cuddles!

Canella, sounds like your ds is like dd. She loves swimming and is a good swimmer but hates going under. Shame they won't give them the Seepferdchen if they don't dive under. Dd had to force herself as her school sends all dc to swimming lessons until they have the bronze level however long it takes (all pupils have to have bronze so they say).

Linzer, I wouldn't know what to say to someone at a funeral either. I'm sure the family hardly register what everyone is saying on a day like that though, must be so hard.

Platanos, my friend who works as a social worker in a school in south Germnay said in cases like that the parent reps, head, class teacher and social worker have to have a round table and take official notes while putting all the complaints forward, and then if that doesn't help the Schulamt are supposed to be brought into it. There was a case at her school where a teacher was sent away, not sacked, but moved to a different school for rascism and of course not all parents disliked the teacher. It took along time to get to the bottom of it and a parent threatening to go to a lawyer etc. Good luck, not a nice thing to have to deal with when it's your turn to be Elternvertreter.

Later- What a cute little baby James it! The birth doesn't sound too bad, except for the pain killer which did not take away any pain. How are you both doing?

Linzer - I would also be lost for words. But I am sure the mother and little girl will remember you for what you do over the coming weeks, months and years with them and for them, rather than the words spoken at such a formal ocassion.

canella- did he go under water?!!?!?

Thanks for the suggestions on the teacher sitaution. We spoke to the head yesterday and are sending a letter out to all parents today, asking for their opinions. We shall see how it goes from there. I think most parents will not agree with this one parent's complaints, now that I have seen them. She really is a lovely teacher. Head is a bit headless to be honest. Anyway....we shall see.

Oktoberfest jenny? sounds like fun.

Have a good day all!

later big congratulations! James is very cute :)

Linzer sorry to hear about your friend, I think the thing in those situations is to stay on the scene and be there for her, I don't think what you say in the receiving line at the funeral matters, but I have heard people say surprisingly many good friends disappear when they have lost a loved one because they don't know how to behave around the bereaved person, and that is obviously not good for the family left behind!

Sept has been ultra busy here - DD started first class 2 days after we got home from our holiday in Croatia, then she turned 6 on 19th, after being at school just under a week, and I took her and 8 of her friends to the cinema to see the Lillifee film, then DS1 turned 4 the next day and we had his KiGa party in the morning and a party at home for him and his 4 best friends in the afternoon. Then my parents arrived on the Friday and I had to do a family party for them and DH's parents, brother and sil on the Sat - it has become an annual tradition which I kind of wish had never stared as they stay so long, invite them for lunch and they're still there for dinner... It will be DH's birthday this Fri and I am starting teaching my evening class a week today...

Baby H is now sitting as well as rolling at every opportunity so carry cot part of pram is away nd he is using the big push chair, which he is much happier in, and I am letting him try a bit of finger food - he is 5 months now!

DS1 is home sick from Kiga today and between him and baby I was up most of the night last night - ds1 had croup the night before last, last night it wasn't full croup but hacking cough and eventually he coughed himself sick. He is tied today but not ill seeming in the daytime and is being a bit demanding!

dd is so far finding 1st class school work easy despite being the youngest, but I think this is because it is all stuff she has done before in English, so I am sure it will not stay easy long! She trots down the road and gets on the bus at 7am, and turns up home around 12ish, very surreal to me!

5more minutes It´s made me tired just reading what you´ve been up to the last few weeks, so no wonder you´re feeling tired. I hope ds1 is feeling better soon and that you have a calmer October.

Later James looks so sweet on the photos. I hope everything´s going well. I think no matter how prepared you are, it still comes as a shock once the baby is there. I remember thinking I couldn´t possibly be responsible for such a tiny being, but it´s amazing how quickly you get to grips with everything.

platanos I´m glad you seem to be making progress. It does seem from what you have said that the head is rather weak. Shouldn´t he/she be taking a more active role? It must be a horrible position for the class teacher to be in.

I´ve just been in school helping dd´s class bake Quarkbrötchen. They were remarkably easy to make, so I might even try making them at home.

Hupa, quarkbrötchen sound good, what's the recipe?

5more, hope your ds is feeling better, coughs are awful and they get so painful when they go on for too long. Remember many a long night rubbing ds's back as he had pain from coughing. Your dd is very independant! How far is the bus journey to school?

Platanos, good luck with the teacher and getting it all sorted.

How was the Oktoberfest Jenny? Did you get real German beer? Or a Bratwurst maybe? Dh liked drinking BudLite when we were in Texas!

We've found babysitters for the gerbils for our holiday. One pair is going to a colleague at work who has grown up dc and has done the whole furry pets thing so knows what to do! The other pair are going to dd's friend but she's abit worried as a cat also lives there but also a few mice, a dog and a hamster so should be an animal friendly place!

Glad your DD is settling in well at school, 5more. Yes, children here seem to be far more independent at an earlier age than they would be in the UK (though I'm sometimes shocked by how common it seems to leave young children and even babies alone at home). A friend of mine was telling me yesterday how when they lived in Germany, her DC (in fact, most of the children) used to walk to and from KiGa on their own which I was a little about. A lot of primary school children used to cycle to school on their own there as well, which wouldn't be allowed here until the 4th year, and only then if they were over 10 and had passed their Fahrradprüfung, but she said she phoned the police to check and it was OK as long as they stuck to the cycle paths. (Am sure you all know all of this already!)

platanos Sounds like such a difficult situation and almost as if the teacher is being victimised by this one parent. Hope it all gets sorted out as amicably as possible.

Busy day here today, with DS at the speech therapist this morning and then two English lessons this afternoon (well, one just after school but before lunch). I have another two pupils, so 12 altogether now - it's nice to be earning some extra money, but I don't think I could manage to fit in any more classes.

Yes, I'm sure that what you do after the funeral counts for more than what you say at it. I keep trying to text my friend but the texts are returned as undeliverable - not sure if her inbox is full. I don't really want to phone her and only wrote just over a week ago, so I'll have to see whether I can find an e-mail address for her; I'm sure I've got it somewhere.

Morning!!

Wow 5more - I agree with hupa - I'm exhausted just reading how busy you're life has been over the last few weeks. But glad your dd is settling in well esp since she's one of the youngest in the class. That will be my ds2 next year. Hope your ds1 is feeling better today.

linzer - I agree with the others that whatever you said on the day of the funeral would have been ok - it must all go past in such a blur. Think you're doing the right thing by keeping trying to get in touch with your friend. She'll appreciate it I'm sure. You sound like the English lessons are really taking off - good on you. How are you working it round your dc? are the lessons at your house?

admylin - cant be long till your holiday now? are you going in the Herbstferien? Glad you found a babysitter for the gerbils. We're contemplating getting a pet!! we were offered a turtle but its a sea turtle so the tank for it would have been massive and I'm not that enthused about turtles. But dh thinks maybe guinea pigs would be a good idea?? DD really wants a dog but think she would be happy with any pet so might look into the guinea pigs a bit more.

hupa - i'd also be interested in the quarkbroetchen recipe - beyond bored with our staple recipes at the moment.

platanos - sorry I wasnt any help about your teacher problem - I often send quick replies on my ipod and then I cant see the previous messages. Would hate to be that teacher thinking that everyone was being asked for an opinion about me. And all because of one parents complaint. But if it gets the situation resolved then it might be worth it.

So about ds2 - no he did not go under the water voluntarily! grrrrr!! but at his swimming lesson on monday, the swimming teacher dunked him under and he didnt complain so much. I think he will be like your dd admylin - able to swim but not underwater. But he's got a lesson again today and I will continue to try to bribe him with an ice cream after if he goes under the water (terrible mother emotion).

My main moan today is about my hair - I have this huge mop of long red curly hair and its getting too long again (which is when it looks nicest) but its a PITA to deal with every day. I hate hate hate going to the hairdresser cause it never looks how I want it but think i'm going to have to brave it. It needs the layers cut properly in - have cut it myself the last few times but thankfully its curly cause its never quite straight. Maybe I need to brave the style and beauty section on here and ask for new style ideas!

forgot to say I'm also shocked at people leaving young babies at home Linzer - I sometimes nip out and leave dd in charge but its only for 10 mins. And only when they are all engrossed in the tv. But even that would never happen in the UK.
All the dc here seem to be expected from the day they start school to be walking alone to and from the bus stop or school. Its ok for us here - the bus stop is only 300m away but for some of the dc who live in town they have a 30 min walk - mad when they have never walked anywhere on their own before that.

I remember a friend (actually, the same friend whose DC used to walk home on their own from KiGa) telling me that her DS used to nap for exactly two hours and you could set your watch by him, so she would go out shopping for an hour while he slept. I can just about understand leaving a sleeping baby for a few minutes in an emergency, but to go out shopping for an hour on a regular basis? I do leave the DDs on their own now, but usually only for around 10-15 minutes; I don't trust DS to leave him on his own yet, though, even with DD1 in charge! (I used to leave DD2 with DD1 at that age, but she was/is far more sensible.)

I know exactly how you feel about your hair, Canella; I used to hate going to the hairdresser's when it was long and curly. They would never cut as much off as I wanted either, as they would always claim that "it will bounce back up" (I suppose it did, but never as much as the hairdresser seemed to think it would). I always think your hair looks great - long, curly hair can look amazing - but you're right, it is a pain to deal with. Mine is much shorter and straight-ish now, but it's driving me mad at the moment as it goes so frizzy after I've been running; I'm hoping it will be better in the winter when it's less humid and I'll possibly be sweating less!

I envy you all talking about having too much hair! I'd be OK with curly or frizzy even! Every time I brush mine loads comes out, hair is getting thinner and thinner, must be age. I used to have long thick hair and now it's just a mess. I manage to get it slightly decent with volume shampoo, volume conditioner and volume mousse and hairspray!

Canella, you'll just have to keep on with the bribes and tell ds to just hold his breath and get it over with until he has his seepferdchen! That's what I did, as soon as the test is passed no one will make you go under ever again! Dd was so fed up of having her Friday afternoon taken by swimming lessons that she eventually just did it.

Well, I've got dd a new mobile for her 12th birthday in October and a dvd, a couple of sport t-shirts and a sweatshirt and now she's stuck at the birthday party plan. She doesn't want a party as such, just 3 best friends but what to do? A couple of weeks ago they all went swimming for one friend's birthday then back to her place for lunch. I think she could just repeat that but she's not begeistert! Getting more difficult the older they get.

Do you think it's worth getting checked out if your hair is getting noticeably thinner, admylin? My hairdresser said that I should go to the doctor's as mine was falling out quite a bit (I hadn't even noticed), the GP said I had low oestrogen levels and should go and see the gynae, the gynae said that low oestrogen is normal when you're on the pill, said that she felt dreadful the whole time but no one ever asked her how she was (I'd also mentioned feeling tired) and recommended some hair strengthening shampoo from the chemist's! So all in all a bit of a waste of time (although it did lead to me changing gynaecologists, which I'm really glad I did) but possibly worth getting checked?

I can only dream of birthday parties where the DC only want to invite three friends. DD1's parties are the most difficult, as her birthday is at Christmas so they have to be indoors, but her party at the pottery studio last year went down really well with everyone and was far easier for us than having it at home. Do you have anything like that near you or is your DD a bit old for that kind of thing now?

Oh, and I don't suppose anyone knows of an easy way that we can get our car (and us!) from Vienna/possibly somewhere else in Austria to the Hannover area, i.e. Autoreisezug?

I think our satnav said it would take 9-10 hours to drive, which is a bit far really, but it looks like we can only get an Autoreisezug to Hamburg. Otherwise, we'd have to drive to Munich and get a train to Düsseldorf or Hildesheim (am guessing that Hildesheim is nearer to Hannover; must look at a map as my geography is atrocious - I really should know as I've been to Hannover several times), or fly to Hannover and hire a car.

I agree with linzer - I would have a chat with a doctor if you're hair is noticeably thinner. I also loose a lot of hair each time I brush it but wonder why I still seem to have loads.

How about going bowling for your dd's birthday? She is at a proper tricky age - nothing too childish will do I imagine!! I would have thought swimming would be a great idea. But what would us parents know!!!

I'm no help with the car journey - had never heard of a car train! Is this for your trip to London? Are you flying from Hannover?

Oh and thanks for the hair complement/advice! Now that its clean and dry today it looks nice so I'm not quite as fed up.
Oh and will take your good advice about the swimming admylin - will see if it works today.

Glad you're feeling less fed up now Canella; I find that I usually feel better once I've washed my hair (even if the frizz rarely stays away for longer than a day!).

The trip to Hannover probably wouldn't be until next year; it's to visit our friends there (the ones whose DDs were christened a few weeks ago). The DC are already asking when we can see them again and if we can go and visit them; DS was very taken by the little one and said this morning that he wants to see her while she's still one! (She turns one next week.) So I was just looking into ways of getting there and, as we'd really need a car while we were there, the Autozug seemed ideal - if only we could actually get to Vienna to nearish Hannover on it. Friends of ours used to catch the car train from Vienna to Düsseldorf when they drove back to the UK, but I think that train has stopped now.

Linzer, Hamburg isn't too far from Hannover. It's about one and a half hours on the Autobahn although it'd take me longer as I hate driving fast so I'd go back roads!

I think you're right I should go for a check up as some days I'm scared to give my hair a good brush for fear of yet another hand full coming out. I take the pill too so it might be time for a check over and change. To top it all I've been so tired i've had to go back to bed 2 mornings in the past couple of weeks, not sure it I can blame dh's snoring or just plain tiredness and old age.

I suggested bowling canella but dd didn't think they would enjoy it. I think they would and I could get them drinks and order pizza, think I'll try and talk her into it again. I could leave them to it and go shopping or something so they'd feel grown up.

Otherwise I've found a forest place with a load of informative stuff about forest animals, a woodwork hut to build stuff and a huge tower with different floors showing which animals live on that level in the forset and at the top you get a view over the huge Eilenriede forest. Just have to check if it's open on her birthday and see if it suits the young ladies of course.

That's useful to know admylin; I think of Hannover as being further south than it actually is. Have just checked the map and I was sure that our friends lived south of Hannover, but it's actually north - so taking the overnight train to Hamburg would be a definite possibility. I find the German Autobahn quite scary too; I refuse to drive on it and find it quite nerve-wracking when DH drives at 150/160 km/h (I know it isn't all that fast compared with a lot of other drivers, but it's faster than what I'm used to!).

Yes, if you've got handfuls of hair coming out it sounds like a check-up might be a good idea. I'm not sure whether the pill had anything to do with my hair loss in the end, but my new gynae recommended that I didn't stay on it for longer than a couple more years and I ended up switching to the coil. Wasn't keen on the idea at first, but it's been absolutely fine.

The forest place sounds good, although I'm sure they would enjoy bowling too once they're actually there. I'm hoping that proper birthday parties (i.e. where we have all the children here) will be a thing of the past once the DC start secondary school; I quite like the idea of dropping them off somewhere and then going shopping!