My son may be dying

[aloneinthenight]

Just that.

He has cancer, they have not been able to control it.

They have given him one last chemotherapy to see if it can turn a corner but his body may not be able to tolerate it and it may not work.

We have been told to prepare ourselves for him to deteriorate suddenly.

My husband can't be with us because my son also has Coronavirus so we are in isolation and he is with our other son.

Thinking of you OP. Hope your son continues to be stable and can tolerate the new treatment.

Once again the chemo doesn't seem to have done anything. I'm just hoping against hope it makes a last
minute turnaround like last time.

I hope so. What do the doctors say?

They've just been. Their concern is his lymph nodes have swollen and there is a threat to his airway.

The new treatment will make his worse initially.

The earliest they can give it is tomorrow afternoon or, ideally, weds morning as chemo needs to be out if his system.

They I'll have to make a judgement on timing, if at all, tomorrow morning.

We have been told again that the side effects of the treatment will be severe and life threatening

I feel sick.

Praying for him and your family. Keep strong xxx

Im so sorry. As one oncology mum to another I am so sorry for what you’re going through. There is no other pain like it. I hope something turns around quickly for you and your boy x

I’m so so sorry for your pain. Having got a child with a Life threatening condition, I can empathise to some extent. The fear is unimaginable. Sending you hugs and strength. The fact you’re away from home in the time of covid too makes things so so much worse.
Sending love and Strength xx

I just don't know how to get through the night. And I know I've said that before. And I did.

It's all just too too hard. How on earth can I imagine being without him.

And they if the treatment does go ahead we have weeks of hour by hour ahead of us

I can't do it. I can't day any of it.

I’ve no useful words but hang in there, we’re listening

I have everything so tightly crossed for your lad and you.

You can get through it. You will get through it. Hold on lass.

I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. I only wanted to say we are here and listening. I pray he responds to the treatment. Stay strong ❤️

I'm praying and keeping every thing crossed for your son

Like others I really don't know what to say, but I am here & can listen. If you could use a virtual shoulder to lean on, please do so x

We're here, holding your hand and praying for strength for all your family. 🤝

It feels like a horrid nightmare I'll wake up from.

We've tried so hard to be strong and positive but it fundamentally doesn't change his disease. I can't make him better no matter how strong I am.

I feel like there must be some puzzle I can solve or something to work out that will make it all better. As if I could just try a bit harder ...

I don't know how anything can ever be Ok again.

How is he? As in not on paper but how is he feeling, is he himself? How does he feel about the treatment?

You can do this, just take one minute at a time. I understand how you probably feel, the feeling of desperately wanting the treatment to go ahead as it is a chance for your son to live but not wanting it to because the treatment itself is life threatening. Please know that there are lots of here willing you on, praying and hoping that your son’s treatment works and he has the chance to live the life he wants x

Oh I am so, so sorry to read this. Terrible circumstances. Your poor son, and you. Hoping upon hope that a miracle happens. Sending ❤️

Wishing you strength. Thinking of your son and hoping, like others, for a miracle.

Hi alone. Another person, reaching through a screen wishing you strength. Minute by minute.

He's not himself by a long way. He's so frail. I had to wash and help him dress today. He didn't want me to do that when he was 4.

He's on a lot of pain killers for sores in his throat, so it hurts for him to talk, and now his lymph nodes.

Is so heartbreaking to watch. My strong mountain of a boy has disappeared. I just have to hope I get him back.

And it's our entire worlds.

I gave up my career and London life to be with him. I have since built my own business which has withered to nothing as I stopped work pretty much as soon as he was diagnosed.

I'd happily lose it all, but not him if I lose him too.

I don't want my other son to grow up without a sibling to lean on.

We haven't been at home together for months.

I want my family back.

I cannot begin to imagine. Sending you love and strength.

I'm so sorry. I'm not good with words and don't know what to say. Just, I suppose, that there are many of us here listening, and praying for your son and your family.

So sorry to hear this - devastating news the chemo does not seem to have worked

Hoping and praying the new treatment is the miracle you need - cannot image the sheer heartache you are going through. Massive hand hold