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Original poster

My DH has just been diagnosed with AIDS

126 replies

Thisorthatwhoknows · 19/02/2019 22:18

I need some hand holding. It's been a really tough few years as a family. My DH was raped by 2 men on a stag do just before our 2nd DC was born. He didn't tell me for sometime but did and we've been trying to work through it together. But after 2 years of feeling ill he was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and subsequently diagnosed with AIDS. This is devastating. The form of pneumonia is also very serious. I'm scared he's going to die...

OP posts:
LostSunshine · 21/02/2019 08:02

Hi OP. This Youtube channel might be helpful. The lady went from having full blown AIDS to being very healthy now.

www.youtube.com/channel/UC7nqJb8dp_5awmBRCKUrTcw/featured

AnotherEmma · 21/02/2019 08:13

I am so sorry about what happened to your DH and about the impact on all of you Flowers

Sharing some links that might be helpful to him:
www.safeline.org.uk/what-we-do/men/
www.survivorsuk.org/ways-we-can-help/

Snappedandfarted2019 · 21/02/2019 08:25

My brother he was sexually assaulted whilst in the navy. Make sure he gets the support he needs. My brother ended up on heroin and took over the majority of his 20s he’s been clean 17 years and is doing well. Flowers

Crockof · 21/02/2019 08:30

I'm so sorry. My friend was diagnosed and his doctor said it's better to be diagnosed with HIV than diabetes as statistically the outcome is better for those with HIV. I just feel so sorry for you all

HIVpos · 21/02/2019 10:48

Dohee yes it is absolutely possible to recover from an AIDS diagnosis, as long as treatment is given for any opportunistic illnesses and antiretroviral medication started - which can be just 1 pill a day now.

Things have progressed so far that nowadays even the term AIDS is rarely used in the UK, as it is no longer the automatic death sentence it used to be. Normally the term late diagnosed or late stage HIV is used. People can have a CD4 in single digits and survive.

The only thing with getting a late diagnosis is more damage has been done to the immune system so it can take longer to recover from.

Plus what @Crockof said - diabetes can be more difficult to treat than HIV.

OP thanks for the update and good that he’s responding. I hope he gets linked into MH care as and when he is ready. An HIV diagnosis on its own can cause PTSD for some people and with the other stuff that happened I hope that with support things will improve for your family.

cudbywestrangers · 21/02/2019 15:00

It is absolutely possible to recover from an aids diagnosis. Some of the people in involved with had aids in the 90s have recovered and are still doing really well. And treatment is much better now than it was then. It will take time- especially the pneumonia so patience will be the thing. Thinking of you while you wait for your own results xxx

SirVixofVixHall · 21/02/2019 17:07

Yes, it is perfectly possible. My friend’s HIV had become AIDS by the time he was diagnosed, he is great now. Really well.
I also know someone who caught HIV from her first boyfriend, she is also really well.
Friend of a friend was one of the people diagnosed in the early days, no one knows how he survived but he did, he has lived with hiv for decades.

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2019 17:12

So so sorry to read this. Hope you are taking some comfort from the very positive stories on here. Wishing your DH a quick recovery. You say you're worried he's going to die, is it worth you (and him, assuming he's conscious) having a conversation with his medical team?

theothermum · 21/02/2019 17:35

I also remember your original thread.

I have a friend who contracted HIV in the early 90. He is still around and lives a really fulfilling life and is still working.
It's not the death sentence it used to be.

Good luck to your DP, OP.

Helmetbymidnight · 21/02/2019 17:38

im so sorry to read this- devastation ondevastation for your both.

i know itsbeen very hard for you op, keep on keeping on. im glad hesbeen able to confide in his family- im sure youre support made a massive difference. you should be very proud of yourselves. Flowers

Coronapop · 21/02/2019 18:50

I am so very sorry to hear about your poor DH. I remember your earlier thread. I hope the treatment is effective and his recovery is rapid. Life can be so unfair sometimes, to experience a brutal rape and then be faced with life threatening illness is just so traumatic. Thinking of you both.

Auldspinster · 21/02/2019 18:55

Really sorry to hear this OP. A family member has HIV and was very poorly with PCP but pulled through and is in very good health now Flowers.

Stuffofawesome · 21/02/2019 20:41

Sorry to hear this is happening and I hope he feels better soon and you too. Take heart from the fact that treatments are so good now. I will be thinking of you and your family

Original poster
Thisorthatwhoknows · 21/02/2019 21:55

Well things have taken a turn for the worse. DH went to the HIV clinic to start treatment but ended up passing out and being admitted. He's on an IV but his temperature has spiked again. We're both desperate to start the anti virals to give us some hope but he's too unwell at the moment. I'm sick with worry and trying my best for my DC but I'm a bit of a wreck.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2019 21:59

Hope that can get him stable very soon. Do you have people looking after you? You/his family?

Reallyevilmuffin · 21/02/2019 22:00

That's so quick from attack and negative to full blown AIDS. And such a horrible way to catch it. I've read some attackers get thrills out of trying to infect people. Absolute scum.

Namechange8471 · 21/02/2019 22:01

Oh op I'm sorry about whats happening.

It's fine to be a wreck, keep talking here of it helps.

Virtual hugs xx

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2019 22:02

Really evi muffin it would be considered gbh surely if they were caught (in this country certainly)

SirVixofVixHall · 21/02/2019 22:03

I am so sorry to read that your DH is having such a good rough time. What are they saying about the anti-virals ?

SirVixofVixHall · 21/02/2019 22:04

I don’t know where that “good” came from, should just say rough.

CoperCabana · 21/02/2019 22:05

OP so sorry things have taken a turn for the worse. Hope the medics get everything under control quickly and he can start on the proper treatment. What a heartbreaking story.

notapizzaeater · 21/02/2019 22:08

So sorry he's taken a turn for the worse, are you getting some rl support too ?

NotMySquirrel · 21/02/2019 22:10

Sorry to hear this, OP. Thinking of you all Flowers

Loseitandkeepitlost · 21/02/2019 22:12

I hope things improve for your DH and you soon. Such an awful story, I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Alphabetspaghett · 21/02/2019 22:16

Im treating someone with hiv newly diagnosed and pcp, its a long journey but there's light at the end of the tunnel. So sorry for your situation.