Husband now terminal

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

My 31 year old husband has been today diagnosed as terminal. His cancer which had gone in July has come back rapidly and now there is nothing they can do . How do you move on from here? We had his sperm frozen to hopefully try ivf but he won't even be alive to try that.

I'm so utterly heartbroken

DH has had a very quiet few days. He said that it's the morphine and it's easier to just ride it. He's struggling with urination, we all had to leave the house earlier because he thought it may be stage fright. He managed to go but he thinks it's because getting to the toilet requires so much effort he then can't go. I'm going to look at getting him a bottle and then a commode. I'm hoping I can get more liquid in him. Some drinks cause a fairly quick expulsion sequence. He's fine with water though. He's going downhill so much quicker than I anticipated. I expected the bedridden part but not the difficulty speaking and coherence so much.

Oh sweetie. It's bloody hard. You're both handling it in the best way you can.

Thanks for updating. Are you getting nursing support? Sounds so inadequate but you are in my thoughts.

Incredibly hard to see someone you love detiorate like this. I know nothing we say can help you OP, but just wanted to let you know you're in our thoughts.

One day, one moment at a time.

So sorry to read this thread. Cancer is a bastard. Stay strong though you already seem so strong. Holding your hand here.

Hi OP one thing that may help with the urination is running a tap when he is trying to wee. The bottle or commode sounds a good idea. I am sorry to hear he has been going downhill faster than expected. How is his pain? Hope you are ok, you have been so strong.

You are doing so well in coming on this thread & saying how you feel. I hope it is helping you a bit. Sometimes writing down thoughts can be really cathartic.
Hope your DH gets a pain free night, and you get some rest too.
Sending you a virtual hand hold.

Oh op I've just read the whole thread and my heart is breaking for you :(

You are doing an amazing job, please look after you too as you will need all of your strength to get through the coming days/weeks/months.

Treasure every second with your precious man xx

Thinking of you and your DH, Niffler. Your posts, so full of frankness and humour, are both a sadness and joy to read.

DH had a catheter put in today. He wasn't happy with it but it's drained off so much urine it's unreal. He seems a little more lucid too. He wasn't having any pain but we think the morphine was hiding the symptoms.

Hopefully it'll make him more comfortable.

I'm so sorry Niffler.

I hope you both, all three🐶, have an enjoyable weekend.

Your dog is adorable. Do you have nice places to walk with her?

I do, I live in a lovely place with a lot of green areas. The dog has been unwell though but I have no idea why. In some ways she's acting normally and in others she isn't.

She's probably unsettled and doesn't understand why. Poor love. How old is she? My puppy is 16 months and the best thing I've ever done.

She's 3. She had bowel movements like jelly yesterday after 2 normal ones. However she only went her normal amount of times. She's only been to the toilet once today and it was about 3am and it was still fairly loose but formed. She was kicking off because she couldn't see the nurse this morning and was playing about but hasn't tried to eat our food and has barely eaten anything today. I just have no idea what's going on because she hasn't been really ill or anything.

That's her now. She's been pretty lazy today but that's not necessarily unusual

Maybe see how she goes overnight. Do you have someone who could take her to the vet for a checkover?

He's in a position that I could still take her if it was an emergency. He's still okay-ish. Other than that we don't have anyone who could take her. If she's still iffy I'll feed her chicken and rice and see if she perks up a bit.

Hope the chicken helps.

Awful watching the degenerative decline

You sound amazing, keep talking and remember to take care of you 💐

Our lot will eat what they shouldn't and then be quiet for a wee while. I hope she improves overnight.

She might have scavenged some rubbish from the garden that a fox left behind. My dog has done this in the past and it has upset her stomach.

Once after a nasty upset the vet gave her an injection which helped and some ABs as he thought she had an infection.

See how she is tomorrow then if no better then get her to the vets.

So sorry- you could just do without this at the moment.

Hope your DH has a comfortable night.
Take care X

I've just caught up and read your thread. From what you've described, I think your dog may have colitis. Mine gets it if he gets stressed, it's like mucus/jelly that comes out and sometimes can be a bit blood stained. I feed him boiled rice, cooked chicken and some plain sheeps milk or goats milk yogurt for a few days and gradually mix his normal food back in.

I'm really sorry that your DH is so poorly now, I can't even imagine what you are both going through

Just wishing you, DH and your dog a good, peaceful night.

Dogs and cats can sense stress and changes going on in the house. Have you tried the doggy version of feliway, can't remember it's name.

Sorry DH is so ill.