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Original poster

Husband now terminal

999 replies

Nifflerbowtruckle · 03/10/2017 19:19

My 31 year old husband has been today diagnosed as terminal. His cancer which had gone in July has come back rapidly and now there is nothing they can do Sad. How do you move on from here? We had his sperm frozen to hopefully try ivf but he won't even be alive to try that.

I'm so utterly heartbroken Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
LastGirlOnTheLeft · 03/12/2017 20:36

I am so sorry, darling. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

plinkyplonkyploo · 04/12/2017 06:57

Continuing to think of you all and hoping you had a restful night.

LordSugarWillSeeYouNow · 04/12/2017 14:16

Thinking of you, hope your dh is as comfortable and pain free as possible Flowers

ElephantsandTigers · 04/12/2017 16:25

Just popped in to say you've been on my mind today. I hope you've had an enjoyable day with dh and he's been pain free Flowers

Amber0685 · 04/12/2017 16:31

Thinking of you

Original poster
Nifflerbowtruckle · 04/12/2017 21:24

DH has had a couple of days were he is awake more. I fear that this is the calm before the storm and he's picked up because he's going to get a lot worse soon. I've had to give him lorazepam last night and tonight as he has myoclonic jerks and his arms move about in his sleep. He was cutting up food and eating it in a dream he had a few days ago. He's quite confused at times and says things that don't really make sense. I don't know whether it's normal, it's the drugs or the cancer has spread to his brain. I need to ask the nurses next time they come.

My parents and sister are coming up tomorrow to see him. They are all quite afraid because they know it's to say goodbye. My sister is only 19 and this is the first time she's seen someone who is dying. My dad is not coping at all. It surprised me as he always seemed the calm, rational one.

It's quite cathartic writing on this thread as I don't really have anyone to speak to in real life.

OP posts:
Lisette40 · 04/12/2017 21:29

I'm glad you're finding the thread helpful. Much love to you and your dh.

underthebluemoon · 04/12/2017 21:31

There are lots of us checking in on you Niffler. I hope everyone managed tomorrow. Your Dad will be so sad for you as well as your DH.
Hope the nurses can keep you informed. I think the drugs plus disrupted sleep can make people say things that don't make sense.

Thinking of you all tomorrow.

Chasingsquirrels · 04/12/2017 21:31

I found that as well Nifflerbowtruckle, just being able to put down my thoughts helped - as did the people who responded, just knowing that someone was there.

Thinking of you x

MrsTaytodarling · 04/12/2017 21:32

Thinking of you, your family and of course your dh xxxFlowers

MrsMozart · 04/12/2017 22:01

I'm glad this thread is helping lass. We're all here for you.

musicalmama · 04/12/2017 22:04

Sending love to you at this hard time.

Ilikesweetpeas · 04/12/2017 22:18

Thinking of you all

ElephantsandTigers · 05/12/2017 07:32

We are all with you, Niffler.

ladymelbourne1926 · 05/12/2017 08:20

Thinking of you all

ClondawWarrior · 05/12/2017 08:30

Thinking of you, and sending love niffler.

I'm a nurse and the jerks are normal, they happen when he's going in and ou of differ not sleep cycles and consciousness. It's due to the events unfolding. I doubt the medications prescribed cause it, and the muscle relaxants will really really help.

As I say I'm thinking of you both, love to your pooch and families

MadisonAvenue · 05/12/2017 08:36

You're all in my thoughts Niffler

TheHobbitMum · 05/12/2017 08:39

Still sending love Niffler

Original poster
Nifflerbowtruckle · 05/12/2017 09:07

Thanks Clondaw, I know the jerks are normal and partly because he keeps his knees up so they fall Hmm (he did it when he was well too). It was the confusion I was going to ask about. It seems to coincide with his meds being upped from 180mg a day to 240mg a day.

OP posts:
echt · 05/12/2017 09:10

Thinking of you now, Niffler.

notyourmummy · 05/12/2017 10:02

Thinking of you.x

whiskyowl · 05/12/2017 13:26

You're so concerned about everyone else, don't forget to tell people when you need support. Love and kindness to you today x

Oogle · 05/12/2017 13:48

Thinking of you x

ClondawWarrior · 05/12/2017 13:54

@Nifflerbowtruckle I'm afraid to say the drug increase and your lovely dh decline unfortunately go hand in hand with the confusion. I'm so sorry to have to write that, they really influence each other but the meds help with the pain etc.
A syringe driver could help with that but I know he's really not keen on that and as long as he is as comfortable as he can be that's what's important- again sending love to you al and thinking of you xx

Amber0685 · 05/12/2017 14:02

Hope you and DH are having a nice day with your parents and sister

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