Husband now terminal

[Nifflerbowtruckle]

My 31 year old husband has been today diagnosed as terminal. His cancer which had gone in July has come back rapidly and now there is nothing they can do . How do you move on from here? We had his sperm frozen to hopefully try ivf but he won't even be alive to try that.

I'm so utterly heartbroken

niffler what about old work pensions? It's easier to make an account joint than have funds locked into it until you can get administration of his estate sorted.

There is nothing Elephant thank you though. He has no work pensions I don't think. We were going to have his account have my name on it but he became housebound much quicker than we expected and he now can barely talk. His voice is at a croak.

I'm sending a ton of love, hugs & positive thoughts. You are so brave, I can't imagine what you are going through. My eyes are filled with tears and have no idea what to say except be strong and I am so happy you have support. Please do consider moving with your lovely dog closer to family

More thoughts and good wishes

for you op and much thoughts for a peaceful time for your dh...

@Niffler I am thinking of you and wishing peace for guy both. I am so sorry for the loss of the future together you dreamed of and that his decline has been so fast. Sending love x

Peace for you both that should say

No words ❤️

So sorry you're going through this - I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I know you are totally focused on him, but I hope someone is also looking out for you xxx

Thinking of you niffler, look after yourself as best you can

Sorry to hear that Niffler you could ring the bank and ask if anyone could bring the forms out to your husband at home. They did in the case I'm referring to. Worth asking anyway.

Thinking of you. Hope you’re getting the support you need as well.

Wish I had some wise and useful words. Know you're all in our thoughts.

We had to have the nurses out twice in the night. The second time he'd managed to pull his catheter out completely. Somehow the balloon had deflated. He didn't notice though.

I'm finding the changes in him hard to see. His voice has turned into a croak and he's had a couple of accidents that I've cleaned up. I don't mind doing it but it's just a reminder how ill he really is. He would have never let me do anything like that before. I almost keep forgetting what his voice really sounds like.

That sounds so hard Niffler. Sending you hugs.

I hope you made lots of lovely memories during your time together, my thoughts are with you

Niffler, it's the very heart of love to serve our loved ones.

Hi Nifflerbowtruckle, I'm finding it quite difficult to know what to say - as your thread and posts bring back my own memories.

I am so sorry that you are both having to go through this time, and nothing anyone can say will change that for you.

Has anyone mentioned Hospice at Home to you?
Basically they send a carer overnight so that you can sleep.
We had them come twice towards the end and it was so helpful knowing that late-DH was being looked over and I would be woken if needed.

I know that looking after yourself maybe the last thing on your mind, but do make sure that you are eating and drinking enough.

Continuing to think of you both.

The OT worker for Hospice at Home has been. We are on their records now. I think that with 4 adults now staying in the house we will be okay for nights as we can take it in turns. He still seems bright at times and can talk to us rather than being always asleep. He is getting quite confused at times and his thoughts are a little disjointed.

I wish I knew what to say, Niffler. Your thread is the first I check when I come on here and I'm in awe of your strength. Look after yourself too

Glad you are getting support

Another stranger here thinking of you and sending my thoughts

Yet another stranger who just wants to say you are in my thoughts xx

Thinking of you all xxx