Needles and Neutrophils: The Hobnob Chronicles

[biscuitsandbandages]

Four weeks today I woke in my own bed with my 8 week old daughter in my arms and waited for the inevitable sounds of approaching 4 and 6 year old boys. I had everything I had every dreamed of. Life was difficult and tiring but we were getting there and I had plans for the summer and dreams for our family's future together.

Twelve hours later I was on CCU plugged into a monitor with fluid around my heart secondary to a diagnosis of adult T cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. I've not been home since.

Statistically my chances aren't great but statistics don't apply to individuals and leukaemia hasn't met me before. My personal survival statistics calculated by me and based on stubbornness, amazing support from family, friends and my mumsnet backup crew and the healing powers of 3 small children are 100% and I won't accept less.

I have superpowers. I have grown three entire human beings. Piddly little leukaemic cells haven't got a hope.

But.....at times I am very scared. This should not be happening to me. It's was not how I planned to spend my maternity leave. My precious year when I was just going to be their mum and nothing else.

This is my second thread but I'm not going to link back as I'm moving forward. Thank you for moving forward with me.

Biscuits x

Thinking of you- hope this week is a good one x

Just popping in to say hi too and wishing you all for the best. Hope your quietness is good news on your side x

You will do it. You are a surviver. My sister in law had same attitude and underwent a lot in her battle but she kept positive and repeated "it's not going to get me" over and again. She came through it and now does long power walks which make me tired just thinking of them, goes on holidays and has a life full of fun. Just as you will and you will have another advantage, you will see life in true perspective.

Hi and thank you for not forgetting me.

Ive been in limbo land waiting until the bobe marrow biopsy tomorrow. Its lovely being home as long as I just stay with the kids, keep away from facebook and dont answer the phone. People seem to keep wanting to remind me I have cancer. I havent forgotton, I promise, but pretending its all not real makes it easier to cope.

Well I have to be in at 9am, fasted and ready for yet another needle. Then limping around until the end of the week waiting to hear if im in remission or not.

I have to be right? (I feel fine, fit as a fiddle, how can I still have leukaemia in me?)
But im probably not (I cant let myself believe there is a chance I might make it)

Good luck today Biscuits - fingers and toes crossed for you.

Very good luck biscuits. I'm glad you have had some famy time and have been able to step aside from others and their assumptions about your illness. Have to say that when I think about you and your neutrophils I get in my head the cheesy 80s song " the only way is up, baaaaby, the only way is up" xx

Hobnob, don't forget to ask(demand) for something else on top of midaz :)
Thinking of you.

Good luck lovely biscuits, and hope it's all done smoothly and calmly so you can get back to the packet again. Not sure your bigger DC's ages but they are selling "Frozen" Panini sticker books in Sainsbury's in the magazine section at the mo: an afternoon with a sticker book and ten 50p packets of stickers might be a nice distraction? (Maybe a job for mrbiscuits, though I'm sure he's busy enough..)

Hang in there

Sending every good luck vibe I can your way this morning. Got everything crossed.

Enormous amounts of luck and prayers

Thinking of you today biscuits. Hope the procedure goes smoothly.

Here for hand holding until the end of the week too.

You're doing great.
Xxx

Good luck for today and a hand to hold here until the end of the week too.

Stay stale xx

Sending you love and luck for today and the rest of the week.

Everything tightly crossed for great news at the end of the week.

I hope today goes well and they sedate you senseless (if I've remembered the procedure correctly!)

Fantastic to hear that you're feeling so well after a brutal chemo round, sounds like your neutrophils are recovering nicely

Thoughts and prayers for remission news on Friday. I'll be posting less as off on holiday but will hopefully catch up on some great news later.xxx

Best wishes for this week biscuits

Thinking of you today Biscuits -hope it goes well. Channelling brave vibes to you x

Great to hear you're feeling physically fit, biscuits. Bodes well. Have checked in regularly but worry about repeating too many platitudes; not sure if they're helpful, so have remained quiet. It goes without saying that my hand is extended like the hands of many other Mumsnetters. They're multitasking hands, too, as also engaged in praying for good news for you & The Biscuits at the end of the week.

Love Magic7's post about not looking up & taking it one step at a time. With that in mind, good luck for the BM biopsy tomorrow. Hope it's not horribly sore.

Unmumsnetty hugs & loads of positive vibes heading your way

Best of luck for today, and sustained positive vibes to buoy you up for the rest of the week.

Hope all has gone well for you today.

Thinking of you, Biscuits, and hoping the doctor was deft and gentle in equal measures. Will be crossing limbs, eyes, and anything else I can stretch that far for good news on Friday x

Hope today went well, and that good news comes on Friday.

(Magic7 - love the tidying strategy. Am a rank amateur with only 4 children, but will apply same principle!)

Hope all went smoothly today biscuits