Needles and Neutrophils: The Hobnob Chronicles

[biscuitsandbandages]

Four weeks today I woke in my own bed with my 8 week old daughter in my arms and waited for the inevitable sounds of approaching 4 and 6 year old boys. I had everything I had every dreamed of. Life was difficult and tiring but we were getting there and I had plans for the summer and dreams for our family's future together.

Twelve hours later I was on CCU plugged into a monitor with fluid around my heart secondary to a diagnosis of adult T cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. I've not been home since.

Statistically my chances aren't great but statistics don't apply to individuals and leukaemia hasn't met me before. My personal survival statistics calculated by me and based on stubbornness, amazing support from family, friends and my mumsnet backup crew and the healing powers of 3 small children are 100% and I won't accept less.

I have superpowers. I have grown three entire human beings. Piddly little leukaemic cells haven't got a hope.

But.....at times I am very scared. This should not be happening to me. It's was not how I planned to spend my maternity leave. My precious year when I was just going to be their mum and nothing else.

This is my second thread but I'm not going to link back as I'm moving forward. Thank you for moving forward with me.

Biscuits x

What a great idea the balloon letters are! My default boredom crunchers are reading, tapestry, knitting (which I learnt last year so still a novice!) and candy crush

Hope you have had a good day today,
Stay stale

Hello biscuits. Just catching up. Sorry that you've had a neutropenic sepsis scare. Fingers crossed for your next results. I'm channelling Yazz too. The o my way is up now baby. I'm in the train in the quiet carriage at the moment. Imagine if I started singing it loudly. Have a good day. X

Hope those neutrophils are behaving biscuits - even when you're bored - remember there is a whole packet of us thinking about you, and wondering how you're doing. x

I love the balloon idea!

Well my neutrophils are creeping up to 0.3 so that's good. If it wasn't for the fact that
A) I'm still on IV antibiotics
B) the boys have started throwing up at home

I would be pushing for home to or row as I feel fine.

So nothing much happening. Still a waiting game.
Part of the problem is that I have some chemo brain thing going on. I can't concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes, I get restless and I get really get in to anything, I don't enjoy things like I should. Sme of of it is almost certainly emotional/psychological but I'm not at a stage I want o be taking antidepressants right now as I'm taking so much already. I keep thinking if I just take this time as a breather to get my head in gear it will be easier. I forget words and mis type too.

Treatment wise we are waiting to get the DNA sample from the potential donor in the states who I already think is an amazing person for volunteering to help a total stranger. He may not be the right type of match and then they would need to contact other potential donors they have found.

I really want to have the bone marrow biopsy. I know that it is is best to yet the counts recover so we get a proper result but very day I'm. It having chemo I worry.

Hoorah, that's progress (or at least a little step in the right direction). Neutrophil-enhancing thoughts and prayers coming your way!

Hope Mr Biscuits is doing OK (I remember you said you guys are Muslims, not sure if you are practicing but it's day three of Ramadan now I think so if he's fasting I hope he's managing OK. It's a tough time for it with the days so long) and hope he escapes the puky bug and the Petri dishes are better very soon!

The brain thing is pretty normal I think: my cousin had something similar (it was temporary, lasted a month or two and then got much better). Just take things slowly and do little things as you feel able. Read trashy mags and short stories/chicklit rather than War And Peace. Do quick crosswords in the paper rather than Killer Sudoku. Buy some funky origami paper and a teach yourself Origami book! ....

Hi there. Hmmm sorry you have slight chemo brain (that sounds like a band doesn't it?). I hope your concentration and emotions Improve slowly day by day. What a pity the boys are being sick! And gosh is mr b fasting too? It's all happening chez biscuit. I wish for some peace and happiness for you - That your neutrophils rise and your bone marrow is good. You are in all our thoughts.

Hooray for the rising neutrophils (finally)! Fingers crossed for the (amazing) donor person. And 'all in good time' for the BM biopsy (you want to give yourself the best chance of measuring properly recovered blood counts). Totally understandable why you'd feel anxious when not having chemo but things are beginning to move in the right direction, so perhaps you can afford to take this time as a breather - and go easy on yourself as regards the brain fog. You're getting there biscuits. Keep going.

Go neutrophils Definitely heading in the right direction. Biscuits you seem like a very clever and clear thinking woman, so a bit of chemo brain probably brings you back to the rest of us!

Read the whole thread. Sorry that you have had this happen to you and your family. Really moved by your grace under fire. Wishing you a full recovery - however long that takes.

Also wanted to say that I signed up to be a donor for treatment for blood cancer earlier this year. I thought I was too old at 42 but apparently not. Would be an honour to help someone like you - though of course Id be happy to help anyone.

Hi Biscuits. Hope you are feeling OK and the neutrophils are increasing well.

Hope your DC are getting better too so you can go home for some lovely cuddles soon.

How's it going biscuits? Thinking of you.

Thinking of you lovely Biscuits, plus Mr Biscuits and all the wee crumbs. How is your day going?

How are those neutrophils doing biscuits?

Proliferating nicely I hope?!

Still thinking of you as I bake biscuits for the scout fete tomorrow. They're looking delicious - made from separate ingredients and lovely formed into the lush tastiness that will be sold tomorrow. That's what's happening with you lovely. Your ingredients with some added knew courtesy of the medics are being carefully tended and nurtured in order to come up with the goal - a healthy you.

Xxx

Hope you're feeling brighter and less bored biscuits - still sending positive vibes your way!

That's a good thought Iwishiwasmoreorganised. Biscuits is baking a new biscuit. Hope neutrophils are doing ok and you are feeling alright. Hope the chemo brain is settling a bit?

That's a good way of thinking of it :-)

Biscuits back in the packet and home where I belong.
I have cleaned out all the mouldy and out of date food from the fridge and cupboards and put a wash in.
I've eaten 3 packets of crisps as that's all I can find that's neutropenic safe right now and I can't go shopping.

Still better to be home.

Lovely news Biscuits!!!

Loving all the Biscuit analogies. Hope you are having a restful time after a housework spurt! Great excuse to eat three packets of crisps until hopefully someone can get to the shop and stock up for you. Are Mr. biscuits and all the kids ok now?

Brilliant that you are home Biscuits.

I hope you have a lovely weekend with your family while those neutrophils keep on climbing.

Yay to be home! It's not instant but can you do internet shopping, that involves no contact apart from the delivery man? Iceland deliver free if you spend £35 (and lots of easy to cook/heat frozen stuff that's not too pricey may help), or an Asda/Tesco shop or Ocado or Abel and Cole if you're pushing the metaphorical boat out ?

stay crumbly and hope you have a restful weekend xxx

Bravo for being back in the Biscuit Family Bosom!

What's the latest on neutrophils and getting your next biopsy?

Glad you are back. Crisps are yummy but I hope you've had something more nutritious by now.

So glad you are home again. Hope you are having a lovely weekend in the Biscuit tin.

How are things Biscuits? Hope you're having a lovely relaxing weekend x

Thinking of you & hope you are all having a lovely stale family time!