Needles and Neutrophils: The Hobnob Chronicles

[biscuitsandbandages]

Four weeks today I woke in my own bed with my 8 week old daughter in my arms and waited for the inevitable sounds of approaching 4 and 6 year old boys. I had everything I had every dreamed of. Life was difficult and tiring but we were getting there and I had plans for the summer and dreams for our family's future together.

Twelve hours later I was on CCU plugged into a monitor with fluid around my heart secondary to a diagnosis of adult T cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. I've not been home since.

Statistically my chances aren't great but statistics don't apply to individuals and leukaemia hasn't met me before. My personal survival statistics calculated by me and based on stubbornness, amazing support from family, friends and my mumsnet backup crew and the healing powers of 3 small children are 100% and I won't accept less.

I have superpowers. I have grown three entire human beings. Piddly little leukaemic cells haven't got a hope.

But.....at times I am very scared. This should not be happening to me. It's was not how I planned to spend my maternity leave. My precious year when I was just going to be their mum and nothing else.

This is my second thread but I'm not going to link back as I'm moving forward. Thank you for moving forward with me.

Biscuits x

Thanks mumsfret, I know you are right and hope you are feeling well today and enjoying the su shine!

Have a good whinge and get it all out on here so you don't have to do it in real life. Best way I think! And limbo is truly annoying. Hope your neutrophils proliferate!

Hello. I've read your thread and thought of you often. It feels rude to lurk, so although I don't have much of any use to say, I wanted to tell you that you sound amazing. Even when mardy. You have a lot in your favour - the genetics result, your determination and your strong constitution. You are also very intuitive about your body and health - recognising early signs and acting on them. That is a great skill that will help you throughout your treatment. However tough it seems, you have already come a long way from that room that you thought you may never leave. I wish you all strength.

Also, the survival figures are, by their nature outdated. It takes forever to collect data, write, review and publish a paper. By which time, lessons have already been learnt and treatments refined. Outcomes are by definition better than the last published data.

Thank you and hello heebie :-)

Dusted off and with the confidence given by my sister in law as back up I was supermum this evening juggling bath and bedtimes abd lots of snyggles with boys and a baby :-)

I can do it and I feel better when I dont mope but just get on with it. Blood tests in the morning so have to go in but straight forwqrd so co considering keeping my 4yr old off nursery and taking him with me. Sister in law is staying overnight to help with little one in the morning so we may even be able to try the park (safer if I have another adult in case of emergency or incasse we have to interact with the outside world as if someone approaches me and I run acreaming "plague carrier" I might get funny looks)

Lovely post Heebie, and all so true.

Brilliant, brilliant biscuits. That's the spirit! Good for you! It's not easy but you can do it. Hooray for your sister in law for providing backup and reminding you of your huge potential. Good luck for tomorrow and don't let the tricky bits get you down. Focus on the here & now, & the big picture. And enjoy the time with your DS

Hi Biscuits, another lurker here just popping in to say hello.You are amazing and I wish you all the best as your treatment progresses.

Meanwhile, how about one of these to go out in.Guaranteed to keep plague-ridden people away. Being upside-down is, of course, optional.

For when someone approaches you

You are doing brilliantly. One day at a time

SILs can be great, can't they. One of mine especially has been wonderful. I used to take baby DD in when I got bloods done. The chemo nurses loved her. Hope your day goes well, you are sounding positive!

Really glad sil has been helping out and you can do bath time and playground. Sadly on phone so can't see the pictures....

Hope today went well Biscuits, and that you're still kicking ass with that biscuity fighting spirit!

Glad you have been enjoying time with your DCs biscuits. Great that your SIL is helping. Hope all went well today.

Lovely day with the kiddies thank you but annoyingly my platelets have dropped to 11 which gives an unacceptably high risk of randomly bleeding for no reason. They need to be above 50 for fridays fun back stabbing experience so today im off to the hospital again to see if I can have a transfusion without reproducing my exciting anaphylactic reaction! Given that im still itchy from the one two weeks ago. Argh!

it is continual steps forward and back isn't it - must be really hard to see progress. Stay stale and I'm glad you had a nice day with the dc. Your SiL sounds great.

Good luck biscuits - hope you get the platelets back in order today!

Good luck today biscuits. I hope your blood starts to behave! x

Good luck, Biscuits. Hopefully all will go well with this transfusion and you'll be back on course.

come on platelets, keep up!

good luck today biscuits x

Morning biscuits! Hope the platelets take a long hard look at themselves and multiply fruitfully!

Dear Biscuits, I came across your previous thread completely by chance. I am also a mum of three who was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago while pregnant with my second child. I am also a trustee of a charity called Mummy's Star which was mentioned in your old thread. We would love to help you if we can. We can offer support or even financial grants. Please find us on facebook or we have a website www.mummysstar.org. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are people out there who can and will help. I hope you're doing ok, no posts for a while.

Afternoon Biscuits. Hope the platelets have had a word with themselves.

It must be incredibly frustrating, the progress then the knock backs, but provided overall you're going in the right direction that's good, isn't it? You've come so far. More positive vibes.

Hope your platelets have benefitted from the transfusion and you aren't too uncomfortable - and there were no scary reactions this time!

Sending positive vibes, and hope you get to enjoy some sunshine with your family this weekend.
Stay stale

Hey Biscuits. How did you get on today? Glad you have- and are accepting lots if help from others. Hope you got done good news today about platelets. Stay strong x

Hope you're home snuggling your kiddies tonight biscuits