Any Late Bloomers out there?

[Bossybritches22]

Just wondering if there are any other women on MN who have come out of the closet in later life, with all it's particular challenges?

Bump

Im in my late 20s, have 2 small dc, and ive only ever had relationships with men, despite always being attracted to women too. Ive just posted in relationships then realised this topic is here.

I want to date women. I am absolutely terrified though. I dont know how to meet queer women, i dont know if id know what to do if things became physical with a woman. Im afraid of not fitting in, of being shit in bed, all sorts of worries.

I think this is an old old thread.

I'm almost a year on from coming out and ending my marriage. XH and I are pretty amicable (have had to be as the vagaries of the conveyancing system mean we are still under 1 roof) and are doing our very best to prioritise the dc's above all else but It's not been easy, at all. I STILL have huge fits of tears/doubt/guilt about my kids and dismantling the family unit but I guess that's common to most ending a marriage for any reason and lots that Tropical says resonates.

I am out to most but I am still learning to feel at ease in my shiny new gay identity - it has not always been easy. I have learnt that the local scene is small and cliquey/bitchy at times. Meeting other’s who have come out after a hetero marriage/LTR and kids involved has been invaluable though. Meeting older women who have been out longer and who’s kids are grown and who are comfortable with their sexuality has also been inspiring and one of the biggest laughs I’ve had has been at a gay women’s night where I must have been the youngest person by 15/20 years. So much wisdom from the older ladies, I live and learn and feel privileged to now consider some of them as friends. I have made one really close friend who’s daily life is complicated by her son who has a life limiting illness, she offers wisdom and grounds me with her reality whenever I’m feeling really low.

I have also felt homophobia bite. Some friends have drifted away, not openly just subtly: kids not getting invited to parties/playdates, me not being invited on nights out, not getting served in a pub when out for lunch with an openly gay friend and her young son. Just little insidious things that leave me thinking that that being straight and married is definitely ‘easier’, it’s the norm. It feels like when I came out and said I was divorcing people rallied round but once they get that me being gay is ‘real’ and not just a notion wrapped up alongside my marriage breakdown it seems harder for them.

Some days I look back wistfully and wish I could climb back inside my closet and shut the doors tight and stay put.

...onwards, forwards.