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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Original poster

DS meeting men on apps

104 replies

SadieBetty · 04/12/2025 11:12

We have recently found out that DS is gay, he is 18 and at University. I did have a feeling but wasn’t sure. I now know that he has been having sex for years, I am horrified to be honest.

He is using apps to meet up with men at university and doesn’t see why I find this a problem. We live in a fairly small town and I now realise that he was doing this at home also. don’t have an issue with him being gay but I can’t have him in my house while meeting up with men, as I now know he was doing before he went to university.

I need advice.

OP posts:
LashesZ · 04/12/2025 21:23

He is an adult free to make choices. Jeez when I think back to what I got up to..

It’s important he feels supported so that if any silly decisions (we all made them growing up into adulthood) he can come to you for advice. Start by reading up on PrEP.

PlanetJanette · 08/12/2025 09:49

I'm coming to this late but OP - I really don't think you need to have some sort of big sit down conversation with your DS about this, but if your plan is that you can't have him living in your home because you disagree with his sex life outside the house then of course you're free to do that. Your house, your rules.

But you should be prepared to lose any relationship with him.

I'm also not sure I would be rushing to talk to him about Prep etc - he is almost certainly far more informed about this than you are anyway. And if your attitude on here is reflected in real life, I can't imagine that a conversation about how he can safely enjoy a sex positive approach to his life would be anything other than filled with judgement.

MazeyP · 09/12/2025 03:30

Lot of the posts seem to miss the point that he's 18 and had sex for years. Which possibly means that he was/is targeted by older men, which should be a reason for concern. Men are predatory regardless of sexual orientation and that's s major issue.

PlanetJanette · 09/12/2025 07:10

MazeyP · 09/12/2025 03:30

Lot of the posts seem to miss the point that he's 18 and had sex for years. Which possibly means that he was/is targeted by older men, which should be a reason for concern. Men are predatory regardless of sexual orientation and that's s major issue.

This makes no sense though - if the OP was actually concerned that her son had been groomed or abused then how on earth would excluding him from her home because of the sex he chooses to have now as an adult be a response to that?

Very little of OP’s posts suggests she is motivated by anything other than judgement of her sons choices now.

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