Worried for daughter starting high school

[Sailthisshipalone]

So my 12 year old daughter who is transgender is starting high school on monday and im so worried for her.

She also has a diagnosis of autism.

She doesnt find it easy to make friends and shes left a lot of her younger friends behind in primary school.

She keeps saying she doesnt want to go and shes scared and ive been trying to be really positive for her but deep down im petrified.

She transitioned socially around 3 years ago so all the children moving up with her know she is transgender and im so worried about kids gossiping and her being potentially outed to any new friends she makes.

She is also starting to go through puberty so i know tje next few years wont be easy with that.

Im hoping maybe someone reading can relate or is going through this now also

Thanks

I'm sorry that happened to you.

My point was more that they follow a script and never actually engage with some fairly hefty and important questions...

I think that's because they can't justify their opinions. How could they? Boys are boys. Girls are girls. Anything else is lack of education, lies and/or delusion, which when pushed on, can't possibly stand up to scrutiny.

Pretty sure this 12 year old kid isn't a danger to women!

Maybe, maybe not. Fact is you have no idea. Fact is if you say this child can use the girls facilities even though they are male, how can you say no to any other male child who wants to?

Unless your position is that single sex should never be allowed, I don't see how you allow one male child in and still expect to be able to exclude any other male child. And remember, this is secondary school so you will also have 16 or 17 year old children of both sexes using mixed sex facilities. And all for 1 child? That is not fair, not for that one child or for any of the other children

12 year old kids have a nasty habit of not staying 12.

Again this point seems to get overlooked quite a lot, and it actually is unfortunately fairly relevant.

And it's also not as if there's a whole pile of things that happen in schools that really should too... Involving 12 year olds.

Trans* identity is recognised by cultures worldwide - denying the existence and legitimacy of trans individuals denies the wisdom and culture history of indigenous and larger nations (such as India and Vietnam ) I don’t see how you can separate the two.

Im not here for a debate - as much as I’d love to think you’d change your mind I’m not that naive ! However I am here to support and reassure a mum who loves and supports her child which regardless of what beliefs you hold should be a beautiful thing.

Trans identity is recognised by cultures worldwide *

Can you give me examples of trans identities being recognised (I'm presuming in a positive way) in, say, Nigeria or the Middle East? In Russia? China? Malaysia? Pakistan? Bangladesh? Iran?

In the countries you have in mind, how many cultures recognise transgender positively and how many recognise transgender identities as being a way of acknowledging homosexual attraction? Hijra, lady boys, Iran's 'it's okay to be lesbian or gay as long as one of you changes sex': not exactly a positive recognition of transgender people.

Transgender ideology is primarily a white, northern-hemisphere concept spread at least at first through the medium of the English language. A lot of other countries have followed without much thought or understanding of what they were getting into.

You represent the perspective of Northern European colonisers looking at indigenous ways of coping with the 'problem' of homosexuality and then co-opting them as evidence to support their own theories. I.e you look at the Hijra of India and decide they are proof that trans communities have always been here and always been accepted. Apparently oblivious to the fact that the Hijra are on the whole same-sex attracted gay men who identify as women in order to legitimise same-sex sex. So the Hijra can be seen as a manifestation of homophobia in India. But hey-ho, eh?

GustyFinknottle
Bang on. Seems to be prevalent in cultures where virginity is still sacrosanct and there is no other sexual alternative than these pools of men dressed as women before marriage.

It's almost as if sexism and homophobia is rife across the world.

I googled Hijra, just to check my facts. I came across a couple of articles which said that some Hijra have traditionally been castrated as part of their adoption of a female identity. I had no idea. If anyone knows, is this an ancient tradition or something new? Only the other day I stumbled across the Skoptsy, a Russian Christian cult that flourished until Stalin wiped them out. They lived in such fear of being tempted by lust that the men used to be castrated and the women used to have their breasts removed and undergo full genital mutilation of the kind we still see practiced in some areas of Africa.

One really has to wonder about the romanticisation of transgenderism...

Someone mentioned AI earlier.

Completely unconnected, but has anyone else heard of nogpt? You c&p text into it and it analyses whether AI has been used. Some colleagues and I had a project to assess how good it is. It's SCARILY accurate.

Gah too slow to edit - it was zerogpt that was the more accurate one, not nogpt 😣

So hopefully from this thread, the op or others, have discovered that mothers aren't buying this shit. And we talk to our kids. So kids aren't buying this shit any more.

So if anyone reading this thread thinks it's a good idea to lie to their kids about reality, - it isn't. The world won't feed their delusions and you're making all their problems worse.

Here's the thing - the gender critical folk ARE the nice ones, the kind ones. The ones who are prepared to be cancelled to protect kids from being lied to and from making irreversible harm to their bodies.

I think this is actually a really important point that parents need to make to their transitioning children.

That although their parents might support them and see them as the opposite sex, not everyone will.

And transition is a choice. It is. And if they chose that path they have to understand that not everyone will see them as the sex they identify as and that not everyone will make accommodations.

And that will be a DAILY theme in their lives.

Crumbs! I did a degree in Russian and never heard of the Skopsty, so far as I can recall. (I've just looked it up.) There was a great deal about a monk called Avvakum who advocated beating one's children...

I live and learn.

Actually @Iamthemoom there are 100s of examples of 12yo boys who are a danger to women/girls/children.
But even if they arent violent/abusive to women, even if they are very kind thoughtful lovely boys who've decided they are girls - that is still a problem for girls.
No girl or woman should have to be forced into a situation where the toilets they use, the girls groups they are in, the girls only slumber parties, the womens changing rooms in shops/swimming pools etc is a space they need to share with men or boys (not unless they are little kids).

Ditto sports - a 12yo boy can easily beat not just 12yo girls at swimming and running but also adults. Read Sharron Davies book "Unfair play" for evidence of that.

12yo boys in girls spaces IS a problem.
If your kids school is ok with that then your kids school is very much part of the cult. Its damaging and abusive in every way - to anyone who "identifies as trans" and to everyone else.

It's not just that.

If you instill the idea that a child is born in the wrong body, every time they look in the mirror THEY will know they aren't. They can't escape themselves.

They then become sucked into a never ending mentality of 'how do I pass?'. EVERY SINGLE DAY of their lives.

Everything from 'learning to walk' because women's hips mean they naturally have a different gait, to hair removal, to surgery.

The cost of that is huge.

Any parent setting their kid on this path age 9, should be saving every penny if they intend to continue supporting the delusion. Otherwise the second that child has to become financially independent they hit another brick wall.

Given the life opportunities of autistic people tend to be lead to on average lower financial earning power, this is a cruel paradox. The rate of unemployment amongst autistic people is significantly higher than the general population too. Unable to earn more because of the limitations of their disability, yet being in a situation where they've been financially weaponised to seek non-necessary medical interventions because of these ideas.

All instead of mum and dad teaching them there's no such thing as boys clothes and girl clothes and boy toys and girl toys and being thoroughly sexist.

Yes, when you start to google castration cults (as one does) transgenderism doesn't look quite so new and progressive, does it? I was just reading this about the 'nullo' cult in Japan.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11895519/What-Nullo-castration-cult-Inside-horrifying-world-genital-nullification.html

It's the Daily Mail so we'll assume more research is needed, but even so, it's difficult not to start wondering how much of everything that we're putting all our children through — including the terfy kids of terfy parents — is in service to a male fetish that goes back to the beginnings of history.

Absolutely spot on @RedToothBrush

I've spoken to my yr 7 nephew about his transgender classmates (I don't know them) and my nephew just shrugs and says he has no idea why they think they can magically change sex, but he tolerates it as just one of the quirks people have, he wouldn't dream of bullying someone for that and he would remember to use their preferred pronouns even if he thinks it's a farce. I think most kids are similar, they get that often transgender kids are vulnerable, ND and they accept that's how they want to express themselves.

Nephew met his first furrie the other day, and was much more scornful of that

One of the problems of the majority of people going along with preferred pronouns is that the transgender child may assume that everyone really does think they are the opposite sex. It seems like a much more damaging version of walking round all day with your skirt caught in your pants but nobody tells you. Why would you do that to a child?

Totally agree. The days of “ne debate”.are over, and as for calling “bigot” at everyone who doesn’t affirm your child and place their delusions above our own or our children’s rights - nah

It's the "Emperors New Clothes" fable for current times.
Everyone knows what they see and hear. It's threats that prevent the truth being spoken. What a way to raise a child. Here darling, have a tantrum and everyone will have to do what you want.

@Sailthisshipalone perhaps you could clarify if you are in the UK or elsewhere? It is unusual in England / Wales at least for a 12 year old to only just be moving up to high school.

I assume that there will have been some transition days and that you will already have made the school aware of your child’s preferences? If not as they will probably be starting in the next few days you really need to talk to them as a matter of urgency.

No matter what our thoughts are on your situation there will be legislation in place. What are your child’s biggest concerns and what are the school and LA’s policies on these issues?

Where I live, there are some areas that have middle schools, where children finish at the end of year 7 and then go on to senior school.

Ah ok, perhaps op lives in one of those areas

I thought that in areas with this system first schools were from reception to year 4, Middle schools are year 5 to year 8 and Upper schools cover year 9 to year 13.