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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Original poster

My 7 year old wants to be a girl

127 replies

Jazfizz94 · 14/08/2023 13:30

My 7 year old boy has always been pretty feminine with his gestures and has always enjoys playing with dolls and babies etc. which I’ve never had a problem with at all. he’s a shy boy .. about 4 weeks ago he came to me and told me he would like to be girl and that he’s always wanted to be one and that it’s his dream I am fully supportive of this of course and have told him that I will be there always. It’s his birthday Friday and he has asked me to get him a wig, girls clothes/ shoes and make up obviously I will but I’m worried about him being bullied in school ( I understand this will happen) and of people not accepting him (or her). Im just looking for advice really and other people stories

OP posts:
Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 · 14/08/2023 13:32

Has he been exposed to a lot of lgbtq+ on the TV/ real life?

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 14/08/2023 13:38

None of my seven year old kids were allowed make up regardless of sex or gender, they're seven.

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:38

I am fully supportive of this of course

Of course? There's no of course here. Why would you be at all supportive of this?

He's 7. Tell that he is a male and will always be a male and nothing can be done to change that. Tell him also that his likes, dislikes and preferences in hair ,toys, etc do not define or change his sex, and that boys can wear skirts and lipstick if they want and still be boys (as they can only ever be boys)

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:39

Meant to add that he's 7, no boys or girls of 7 need make up and wigs.

Don't buy into the bullshit.

Aposterhasnoname · 14/08/2023 13:40

Would you buy a seven year old year a wig and make up?

lifeturnsonadime · 14/08/2023 13:40

I hope you've told him that it's not possible to change sex?

Otherwise you are lying to your child which is not really a kind thing to do.

Instead tell him if he wants to wear a wig and dress that's fine but he will still be a boy. Nothing wrong with a boy in a dress.

NeedToKnow101 · 14/08/2023 13:41

He's an effeminate boy, not a girl. Please tell him that boys can play with dolls. have long hair and wear pretty clothes, and wear make up (not aged 7 usually) but that does not make them a girl!

Many girls don't have long hair, wear make up or like playing with dolls. That does not make them boys!

MentholLoad · 14/08/2023 13:43

but he can't change sex, why would you pretend that he can, that's cruel

Againstthegrai · 14/08/2023 13:43

Boys can be feminine in gestures, boys can play with dolls and babies (indeed it’s a good thing, research shows it encourages them to be more caring and hands on dads). Boys can wear wigs and dresses if they want. Good on him for smashing gender stereotypes. I wish my lovely DD would play with cars etc more but she is very much into the unicorn/dolls phase (which is fine as well).

Andanotherone01 · 14/08/2023 13:44

That is so funny! When my DD was 7 she wanted to be a rabbit. Of course, I did what any normal parent would do; said "that's nice" and promptly ignored it 🙄

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:44

Honestly op mumsnet probably isn’t the best place to post this due to the attitude towards trans people. Maybe find a Facebook group for parents of lgbt children. He may grow up to be trans or he may not. Seven is very young to make big life altering decisions. Od let him wear what he wants etc, he might end up growing out of it. As I child

Fotophrame · 14/08/2023 13:45

he’s always wanted to be one and that it’s his dream

He might as well wish he were a dinosaur.

AHugeTinyMistake · 14/08/2023 13:45

There's nothing wrong with a boy wanting to play with dolls or wear a dress or have long hair

What is he hearing that he thinks only girls can do that?

Are there people at school or family who are judgemental about the way he is? I would tackle that before I would tell him he can be a girl - he can't, it's cruel.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:47

Sorry posted too quick. As a child I used to dress ‘like a boy’ and played football etc. I’m now 34 and a happily married woman with two sons. The best thing my parents did was let me get on with it and dress how I wanted.

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:47

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:44

Honestly op mumsnet probably isn’t the best place to post this due to the attitude towards trans people. Maybe find a Facebook group for parents of lgbt children. He may grow up to be trans or he may not. Seven is very young to make big life altering decisions. Od let him wear what he wants etc, he might end up growing out of it. As I child

Which of the attitudes stated do you think are an issue? What sort of issue do you think we have with trans people?

Letting him wear what he wants at 7 when he wants a wig and make up would be shocking bad parenting, mainly done to make the parent feel good about themselves.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 14/08/2023 13:47

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:44

Honestly op mumsnet probably isn’t the best place to post this due to the attitude towards trans people. Maybe find a Facebook group for parents of lgbt children. He may grow up to be trans or he may not. Seven is very young to make big life altering decisions. Od let him wear what he wants etc, he might end up growing out of it. As I child

Or be a parent and let him wear what he wants but not peddle the lie that it's possible to change sex and turn into a female. Because it isn't. If he wants to reject stereotypes and wear dresses, have long hair etc that's perfectly ok. That's not 'anti trans'.

Comedycook · 14/08/2023 13:48

Like a pp I wouldn't buy any seven year old make up.

GameOverBoys · 14/08/2023 13:49

I think getting him some sparkly dress up clothes for his birthday then providing him with some alternative role models would be the best way forward. Is he into dance? Or drama? There are lots of men who don’t conform to gender norms in dance and theatre. It might help build his confidence too.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:49

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:47

Which of the attitudes stated do you think are an issue? What sort of issue do you think we have with trans people?

Letting him wear what he wants at 7 when he wants a wig and make up would be shocking bad parenting, mainly done to make the parent feel good about themselves.

Show quote history

Id beg to differ, my niece is 8 and wears wigs sometimes, nobody would bat an eyelid at a little girl wearing a wig for fun. My boys used to like dressing up in their cousins witch costumes when they were tiny. I don’t think it’s bad parenting at all.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/08/2023 13:50

Read this and reflect on it. https://www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition/ It isn't a neutral or harmless thing to pretend a child is the opposite to their birth sex. Puberty is a natural process, vitally important for healthy development, and it's different for girls and boys. There's no getting away from that, and don't be fooled by the people who say that puberty blockers are harmless. They're not. They cause health problems that may become permanent, and almost all children who go on blockers then proceed to cross-sex hormones, which will cause infertility, interfere with sexual response, and increase the risk of other health problems. All of this in spite of research that shows that most children who are unhappy with their birth sex come to terms with it by the time they are through puberty.

PS If I bought a child of either sex a wig, it would be for dressing up, not wearing out and about as ordinary dress, and certainly not at school. (Obviously it would be different in the case of a child who'd suffered hair loss.) If your little boy wants to have long hair, let him grow it!

A childhood is not reversible - Transgender Trend

Childhood social transition is seen as 'kind.' A clinical psychologist explains what we set a child up for when we socially transition them.

https://www.transgendertrend.com/childhood-social-transition

Anothernamethesamegame · 14/08/2023 13:50

Personally in your shoes I’d buy him what he wanted for his birthday (well the age appropriate options) such as the dresses etc. like others here I’d explain he can play/wear/act however he wants, but he will always be a male. Then I’d probably just wait and see how things progress. Remain neutral and take the lead from him.

Timetochangegonzo · 14/08/2023 13:51

Sure, he can wear a dress if he wants. He’s a boy in a dress and that’s absolutely fine. He won’t be a girl. Ever. That’s what you and he need to understand.

Playing with dolls and wearing a wig and make up doesn’t make you a girl. My 8 yr old one has never done any of these things.

Plus who buys a 7yr old proper make up ffs. If it’s for play then same as above, nothing wrong with a boy playing with make up

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 14/08/2023 13:51

Why does he need a wig? Can’t you just do his hair in the style he wants? A wig at school would be very awkward and probably cause him ( and his teachers and classmates) a bit of trouble.

would your school allow a seven year old to wear make up? I know that attitudes towards ‘ identity’ are pretty cool 😎 at schools, but isn’t make up banned?

WeightoftheWorld · 14/08/2023 13:51

Agreed there is no way I would be letting a child of mine at 7 wear makeup and any wigs would be solely for fancy dress at appropriate times e.g. play at home or fancy dress parties. Their sex is irrelevant to that.

As for clothes, I let my children wear what they want as long as it's practical for the weather and whatever it is they are doing. Their sex doesn't have any bearing on that.

Your son is not female and never will be and needs to understand that. He also needs support though to be his authentic male self and if his clothing choices for example are from the 'girls' section that's perfectly fine as clothes are clothes. But they don't and won't change his sex.

Kweeky · 14/08/2023 13:51

I’m never sure what ‘being a girl/boy’ means nowadays other than clothing (and many outfits suit either.) Both sexes ride bikes, kick balls, paint and draw etc -the dolls could be different so is he going to play with dolls all the time?
It sounds more like he wants to be like you wearing make up. Is there a DF around?

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