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LGBT children

This board is primarily for parents of LGBTQ+ children to share personal experiences and advice. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful that this is a supportive space.

Original poster

My 7 year old wants to be a girl

127 replies

Jazfizz94 · 14/08/2023 13:30

My 7 year old boy has always been pretty feminine with his gestures and has always enjoys playing with dolls and babies etc. which I’ve never had a problem with at all. he’s a shy boy .. about 4 weeks ago he came to me and told me he would like to be girl and that he’s always wanted to be one and that it’s his dream I am fully supportive of this of course and have told him that I will be there always. It’s his birthday Friday and he has asked me to get him a wig, girls clothes/ shoes and make up obviously I will but I’m worried about him being bullied in school ( I understand this will happen) and of people not accepting him (or her). Im just looking for advice really and other people stories

OP posts:
Highdaysandholidays1 · 14/08/2023 13:52

Hmmm, no seven year old girls wear wigs or make-up to school, so that's not necessary. As dress-up, why not? Just reassure him that he's a boy but he can dress up in anything he likes, including things some girls like, anytime.

Lottapianos · 14/08/2023 13:53

'He's 7. Tell that he is a male and will always be a male and nothing can be done to change that. Tell him also that his likes, dislikes and preferences in hair ,toys, etc do not define or change his sex'

This is very good advice. I would want to ask him why he thinks he wants to be a girl - what is it that he thinks girls can do or be or look like that he wants to be a part of. Then you can reassure him that dolls etc can be for boys too and he can play with whatever he likes

He's a boy and that will never change, and its so important that you're clear with him about this

Ickystickystickystickybubblegum · 14/08/2023 13:54

This is the wrong place to ask. MM isnt just GC, it is transphobic.

amylou8 · 14/08/2023 13:55

He's 7, please don't affirm this anymore than you would if he said he wanted to be spider man.

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:56

Ickystickystickystickybubblegum · 14/08/2023 13:54

This is the wrong place to ask. MM isnt just GC, it is transphobic.

No it isn't.

MentholLoad · 14/08/2023 13:57

Ickystickystickystickybubblegum · 14/08/2023 13:54

This is the wrong place to ask. MM isnt just GC, it is transphobic.

nah, it's just pretty interested in and knowledgable off, safeguarding children

let him wear what he wants/act how he wants but don't let him believe that he can change his sex (pursuit of which involves life time dependency on harmful pharmaceuticals and cosmetic surgeries)

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:57

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:49

Id beg to differ, my niece is 8 and wears wigs sometimes, nobody would bat an eyelid at a little girl wearing a wig for fun. My boys used to like dressing up in their cousins witch costumes when they were tiny. I don’t think it’s bad parenting at all.

Show quote history

Does your niece wear a wig and make up at school? If not, your point is irrelevant.

theDudesmummy · 14/08/2023 13:58

It's not phobic of anything to tell a child that they can dress how they like but can't change sex.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 13:59

awaytofrance · 14/08/2023 13:57

Does your niece wear a wig and make up at school? If not, your point is irrelevant.

Show quote history

I don’t think that OP was saying that her ds would wear a wig and make up to school. I think she was just worried that kids at school might find out. I’ve reread her op and nowhere did she state he’d wear a wig to school.

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 14:01

OP Ive spoken to a friend who has an older trans daughter (who was born a boy) and she has recommended parents of transgender kids uk on Facebook. Good luck with your ds either way it goes!

Original poster
Jazfizz94 · 14/08/2023 14:01

Thank you

OP posts:
AccidentallyWesAnderson · 14/08/2023 14:02

Ickystickystickystickybubblegum · 14/08/2023 13:54

This is the wrong place to ask. MM isnt just GC, it is transphobic.

What does that even mean? Posters like you who spout this 'you are transphobic!' never, ever back it up with examples or an explanation. For the love of god someone at least try!

lifeturnsonadime · 14/08/2023 14:05

Whatsthepoint1234 · 14/08/2023 14:01

OP Ive spoken to a friend who has an older trans daughter (who was born a boy) and she has recommended parents of transgender kids uk on Facebook. Good luck with your ds either way it goes!

OP be wary of facebook groups like this one because they will tell you things that will lead your son on a very dangerous pathway.

No human being can change sex, it is cruel to children to tell them they can.

Some of these children then go on to puberty blockers and later surgeries and cross sex hormones which have profound effects on their health.

Most children experiment with gender when they are young, most don't go on to be trans. Some may be gay, many will not be.

7 is such a young age, it is your responsibility as his parent to keep him safe. He can wear dresses and make up and wigs when playing but please be cautious about believing this makes him a girl.

Mamoun · 14/08/2023 14:08

Agree with most of the above.
Boy can dress with typically feminine clothing and enjoy things that are viewed by society as typically feminine but that doesn't make them girls or women. Girls are female children and your son will always be male.

octoberfarm · 14/08/2023 14:09

Be aware, OP, that Mumsnet is probably not the best place to find support on this - it's well known for its less than supportive stance on trans issues. I'm so glad you're listening to your child and hearing what they're telling you. They're lucky to have you.

Sprogonthetyne · 14/08/2023 14:11

I'd take him shopping and let him choose what clothes he likes.

It would be a no for makeup, as it would be for any 7yo.

I'm also wouldn't get a wig, but would compromise with some sparkly hair bands, clips or bobbles, and wait for his hair to grow.

Rollonsept · 14/08/2023 14:12

Againstthegrai · 14/08/2023 13:43

Boys can be feminine in gestures, boys can play with dolls and babies (indeed it’s a good thing, research shows it encourages them to be more caring and hands on dads). Boys can wear wigs and dresses if they want. Good on him for smashing gender stereotypes. I wish my lovely DD would play with cars etc more but she is very much into the unicorn/dolls phase (which is fine as well).

There is a huge difference between a boy playing with a barbie or doll at someone's house. I wouldn't actively go out and my DC a barbie or anything like that. Too much choice has lead to this, it's nit even a joke its spiralling out of control. Who is the parent here?

Spacemoon · 14/08/2023 14:13

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LakeTiticaca · 14/08/2023 14:14

Tell him he can wear a dress and a wig at home, as in, playing dress up but not in public.
Age 7 I wanted to be a fairy, wings and a wand, the lot.

fireflyloo · 14/08/2023 14:16

I would tell him that he can wear what he wants, have long hair, play with what he wants but he will always be a boy. Same way as girls can have short hair, be interested in tractors and never wear dresses. Doesn't make them anything other than a girl. These are all stereotypes of course.

At 7 I'm sure he recognises the biological differences between boys and girls. Id reinforce these in a drip drip way whilst reinforcing that he is love and accepted regardless of what way he wants to present.

Againstthegrai · 14/08/2023 14:17

@Rollonsept why wouldn’t you buy your DC a Barbie? Is it because of the Barbie itself and what it represents, or because it’s ‘girly’. I only have DD’s but if they wanted a ‘boys’ toy like a dinosaur or a car, I would absolutely buy it for them- why not? Recently my DH got my DD a ‘boys’ legobset, after an initial tantrum she played with it and loved it. Smashing the gender stereotypes that society has built up over the years is what has got women into the positions they are in today..having the vote etc so I’m all for it 😊.

MysteryBelle · 14/08/2023 14:18

Why would a little boy believe he has to wear a wig and makeup and girls clothes and be a girl? What and who has he been exposed to? Little children are not supposed to be sexualized and dressed up to look like sex objects. They’re not supposed to be groomed into doing that. Let children be children. I remember watching a documentary on an eight year old drag queen with layers of makeup in suggestive outfits dancing and performing for adult males with women cheering him on. That is sick. That is sexualizing a child for the entertainment of adults. What you’re suggesting is very close to grooming. Absolutely not. A child is not a possession, an object, to experiment on or to fulfill some twisted political agenda.

Musomama1 · 14/08/2023 14:19

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Women have for decades been highly supportive of gay rights. It's ridiculous to equate scepticism towards the notion of trans children with homophobia. Actually most women on this board are concerned that children who will go on to be gay are having some form of conversion therapy by 'changing sex'.

Of course you can definitely be gay but you definitely can't change sex.

OP I'd recommend Transgender Trend of Bayswater group. Read the Cass Review and please reflect.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 14/08/2023 14:20

Majority of posters are uneducated on these matters and a lot of them are transphobic and/or homophobic.

Can you explain this or back up with any examples? Saying you can't change sex, boys can't become girls and vice versa etc isn't transphobic so what else is there?

PurpleBugz · 14/08/2023 14:23

I echo others. Nothing wrong with a boy in a wig and a dress. Still a boy. I think 7 is too young for make up but when older again nothing wrong with males in make up.

What is a girl? Is it a dress and glitter? Is it stereotypes?

Boys cannot be girls. Boys can do everything girls can do!! It's only as an adult you get to men can't have babies like women but as children honestly there is nothing for him to want from girlhood he can't have as a boy. And if he does grow up trans he still won't be able to have kids.

Please research social transition. And absolutely do your due diligence on puberty blockers and cross sex hormones and finally operations. You you want him to get his testicles cut out and his penis inverted and most likely live with life long pain from it? Because encouraging him now is where he could end up. That's an adult decision not a 7 year old decision

Honestly I would do some research from all sides of the debate on this. Don't just take what others are saying as truth.

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