My 7 year old wants to be a girl

[Jazfizz94]

My 7 year old boy has always been pretty feminine with his gestures and has always enjoys playing with dolls and babies etc. which I’ve never had a problem with at all. he’s a shy boy .. about 4 weeks ago he came to me and told me he would like to be girl and that he’s always wanted to be one and that it’s his dream I am fully supportive of this of course and have told him that I will be there always. It’s his birthday Friday and he has asked me to get him a wig, girls clothes/ shoes and make up obviously I will but I’m worried about him being bullied in school ( I understand this will happen) and of people not accepting him (or her). Im just looking for advice really and other people stories

Set some limits - eg no make up, and allow him some dressy up stuff.

Broaden his horizons around gender stereotyping; look at male footballers who wear pink and female footballers doing really well (v easy at the moment!)

Then broaden his horizons generally away from all this self absorbed aesthetic stuff, some outdoor activities and sports. Riding, gymnastics, parkour if he won't do usual team stuff. I think kids are getting too into media and self image generally these days and being physically active is really good for them.

Sport also highlights the need for physical health and fitness and that there are real differences between the sexes, the rest is just consumer led decoration.

He's not trans and you know this but you just need some help to help him to navigate this very consumer driven world kids exist in now.

A child I taught who was seen at the Tavistock years ago (before it was swamped by lobbyists) was similar and was told that he was "very into fashion." They suggested to him he might be gay but I wouldn't bother with anything like that at this age.

He took that on board and became very swish in his fashion sense as he went through his teens. The child had no issues with his body but it was starting to make him frustrated that there's were all those social rules he didn't understand.

He would have loved Harry styles.

(Take him to see Harry styles...!?❤️)

The Bayswater support group are excellent.

www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/

Why are you on here then? Just contact the Tavistock Centre or Mermaids for 'help, guidance and advice' and be done with it. Just don't come back here in 10 years time when your son is damaged beyond repair.

as for him never being a girl he can be a fucking pineapple if he wants to be
Dressy up, yes. Great Halloween costume.

I don’t actually care aslong as he’s happy and healthy and I don’t think that’s bad parenting I think that’s having love for my child.

That's the thing- the medication and surgeries that are given for this condition are extremely unhealthy. Oestrogen in a male body causes all sorts of chronic health issues. "Bottom" surgery causes awful issues, many have incontinence and loss of any function down there.

Osteoporosis, depression and heart disease is not something you want to willingly allow your child to self inflict.

Hence posters saying "be very careful with this" here.

Your son can be neither a girl nor a pineapple. He can wear skirts and wigs and makeup and good for him. It will not make him a girl. Just a boy with a unique sense of style.

So Mumsnet is all in with the trans agenda, deleting my comment. Dissent is not allowed. Mumsnet is all for men trampling women’s rights, beating them in sports and beauty pageants, the patriarchy is back just in lipstick and dresses.

Mumsnet is complicit in the sexual grooming and objectification of children. And you all go along with it. You will give your very children to your political gids

Best thing you could do, today, OP, is read everything Ritchie Herron has written on this.

He's speaking up a lot for young boys who like swishy dresses and clothes and long hair. He was like that. He later thought that meant he was a girl.

He transitioned as an adult. He realised he was coerced into this via online trans communities and the nhs which until this year only affirmed these ideas.

He is why posters are so adamant you are very careful about how you handle this.

Saying a hard no, none of it, to your child is not the answer but going gung ho giving him what ever he wants is also not the answer.

political gods. Foolish. I will be reporting this platform any way I can. Stand up while we’re still allowed to speak in some places still.

as for him never being a girl he can be a fucking pineapple if he wants to be

but the thing is he can’t can he? He can dress as a pineapple. You could call him pineapple. If that makes him happy then cool. But he won’t be a pineapple will he?

Also if you think a seven year old of either sex should be wearing make up for anything other than pretend play then your children probably have bigger issues to contend with. Stop sexualising them

Just to add to my previous post, I heartily agree with those cautioning against puberty blockers. I'm very worried about DD being eligible for them when she turns 16 (Scotland).

as for him never being a girl he can be a fucking pineapple if he wants to be I don’t actually care aslong as he’s happy and healthy

I mean, he literally can’t be a pineapple nor can he be a girl. Neither are possible. You must surely know this?

When adults tell children ‘you can be whoever you want to be’, that’s not really what they mean.

@Againstthegrai I understand and respect your points too.

Mumsnet is not about mothers and children. It is about shielding the trans groomers of children from criticism.

'trans the gay away' 'modern day conversion therapy'

This makes it sound like you think only gay males transition? When in reality, people of all sexualities can be trans. For example, I know someone who was born female and finds men attractive. He is now a gay man. I also have a friend who is bisexual and was born male and is now female. She is very much still bisexual - so that 'modern day conversion' therapy really didn't work well.

I am in agreement with some on here who think trans discussions need to be limited at a young age and I would personally never support hormones or full transitions before the age of 18. However, that doesn't mean you have to be can't support children who express these feelings. Even a simple acknowledgement of how they're feeling, or a simple acceptance of trans people in general can save a child's life. I occasionally work with trans youth and the amount of them who have suicidal thoughts and/or who have ended their lives due to lack of acceptance from their parents and wider family is astonishing.

As a side note, sadly, conversion therapy still exists. It is still as vile as ever, only now, it also includes trans people. And as trans people are significantly less accepted than gay people in today's society, trans people are at far higher risk.

OP and will you also keep maintaining that Santa is real?

Whatever you decide to do, your child needs to know they can't change sex. You owe your child honesty at the very least.

There are many accounts of people who were steered into transitioning at a young age and regret it.

My pro trans comments got deleted too, so nothing to do with MN being with the 'trand agenda'. It seems no matter your opinion, either pro or anti trans, the snowflakes can't accept a simple debate without reaching for the report button.

When adults tell children ‘you can be whoever you want to be’, that’s not really what they mean.

Yes.

Kids have magical thinking so often do think that that is want adults mean. They really can be what they want.

Interesting. Thanks for letting me know that.

Regardless, the hierarchy definitely favors trans because I said nothing inaccurate or mean. It is however very evil, yes I said evil, to groom and sexualize children.

Your rather impassioned comment about the pineapple, OP, suggests that you do really understand what the truth is here. You obviously know that your child can never be a pineapple, whatever he says or feels or dresses as. And you also know that he can never be a girl, whatever he says or feels. Spot on analogy therefore.

But please take it to the logical conclusion, as in you would never seriously pretend (to him or other people) that your son can be a real pineapple, as that would be ridiculous, misleading and potentially harmful.

Telling children that they can be anything they want to be is not the kind thing that it is often believed to be, as it is completely untrue. They can't. I could not have become a model, a painter or an athlete, no matter how much I might have wanted to be. I could and did become something that only a decade or so earlier was pretty much an entirely male profession.

Telling children that they are not constrained by societally determined roles related to their sex is what needs to happen.

If you loved your child you wouldn't lie to them so egregiously. You know he can't be a pineapple, just as much as you know he can't be a girl.

He won't be happy or healthy if you feed him to the trans machine with all your might. Woman up. Parent properly.

For example, I know someone who was born female and finds men attractive. He is now a gay man. I also have a friend who is bisexual and was born male and is now female.

You can believe this all you like, but your first friend is still female (and a heterosexual one at that) and your second is still male. You cannot change sex.

I agree with the rest of your post, other than medical intervention. Even at 18 going down a medical transition route is risky. Read the many emerging stories of detransitioners. It's not a game.

Telling children that they can be anything they want to be is not the kind thing that it is often believed to be, as it is completely untrue.

Absolutely agree. Just saying lots of adults do tell children this.