My 3 year old wants to be a girl

[Lalallals248]

Hi!
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I would just like to chat about this with other mums! My 3 year old son has always been very girly - he's always loved unicorns, watching me do my hair, playing with make-up. His favourite films are Disney Princesses, and he enjoys dressing up in Disney Princess dresses. When he's playing with his brother, he always takes on the girl's roles. His brother is 6, and today he referred to his brother as a feminised version of his name. Let's say 3 yo is Daniel, DS1 called him Danielle. I stepped in and said 'that's not your brother's name' and DS2 said 'it is mummy, I am Danielle.' Normally, when my 3 year old takes on a girl's name, it's a character's name, so this feels different, but I don't know if his brother has just given it to him.
Anyway - my point is: how do I support him? I don't want to push him either way, I just want him to be who he feels he is - whatever that may be. Has anyone experienced something similar?

Oh my good I've just seen the title 'LGBT children'. Seriously? 🙄😆

Similar to what the previous poster said. I don't differentiate between girls and boys toys. My son has a dolls house, fire engine, paints his nails, has the paw patrol tower and cars, has three dolls.

Play is learning. Your children is exploring through play.

If you put any shame on him for the types of toys he is choosing you will cause huge problems. He may feel he can't play with certain toys because you won't love him - yes children think in concrete terms at that age.

Please please research things via reading if you're not sure about something. Follow relevant people on instragram for information. I follow a lot of people who are psychologists and child psychologists (but that's my interest).

Information is power.

Bumblebee1980a

Oh my good I've just seen the title 'LGBT children'. Seriously?

You do know that children doesn't just mean 3 year old right? My 14 year old is bi-sexual. And therefore an "LGBT child" (although he disagrees with T coming under the same umbrella but that's another issue)

@sleepyhead

I presume you're also modelling the "boys can do/be/wear anything" with your older son?

The pressure that children get to conform to stereotypes is enormous. Your older boy will likely have very fixed ideas about what's appropriate for boys and girls and will, quite innocently, push this on to your younger son. Friends at nursery will do the same, as does banal stuff like boy/girl sections in shops, differences between boy/girl colouring books - it's endless.

My friend's daughter, who has been "consistent, persistent and insistent" that she's a girl (who likes spiderman, "boys" clothes/shoes/haircut/lunchbox etc) since she could articulate the concept, is being gradually worn down by her peers' consistent, persistent and insistent belief that she is not, and cannot be a "proper girl" because of her choices. It's really sad to see.

Given the oldest son calls him Danielle, I think not.

Don’t worry about it. He is 3 years old and changing all the time. Ignore it and just treat him as a 3year old. Time will sort it out.

You do know that children doesn't just mean 3 year old right? My 14 year old is bi-sexual. And therefore an "LGBT child" (although he disagrees with T coming under the same umbrella but that's another issue)

Apologises I wasn't clear. I wondered why this post was under the LGBT.

@Bumblebee1980a

You do know that children doesn't just mean 3 year old right? My 14 year old is bi-sexual. And therefore an "LGBT child" (although he disagrees with T coming under the same umbrella but that's another issue)

Apologises I wasn't clear. I wondered why this post was under the LGBT.

Apologies for jumping down your throat. Looks like a misunderstanding.

👆You see, you just don’t get this type of discourse elsewhere on SM do you?

@Bumblebee1980a

You do know that children doesn't just mean 3 year old right? My 14 year old is bi-sexual. And therefore an "LGBT child" (although he disagrees with T coming under the same umbrella but that's another issue)

Apologises I wasn't clear. I wondered why this post was under the LGBT.

Why?

I don't agree with trans being under the umbrella but it is.