Read this if your child is questioning their gender

[jakeosaure]

Hey, my name is Jake, I'm a 17 year old trans guy from England. This thread is for the the parents/ family/ friends of someone who has come out as trans as well as for people who just want a better understanding on the topic.

Feel free to leave any questions you have about being transgender, transitioning or anything else you want or need to know. You can also use this as a place to vent about your child's transition, but please be don't try to use it as an excuse to be transphobic.

I haven't come out to my family or college yet so I haven't begun transitioning but I do know quite a bit about different surgeries and HRT options, as well as binding, packing and tucking, so I should be able to answer most questions or at the very least link you to a video which answers it.

Trans peeps, feel free to comment your experiences :)

Please can everyone be kind and respectful, don't spread misinformation or claim that all trans people are pedos or predators (I hear it so much, it's incredibly annoying and inaccurate).

Anyways, ask away ❤

Yeah being a woman sucks.
Most women recognise this especially more so in our internet porn soaked world.

Destroyedpeople fair enough :)

You can't change sex. What are you transitioning to?

Anyway we can't even discuss this topic properly without people going off on one about 'transphobia ' and 'safe spaces' so what's the point?

@jakeosaure I have asked for this post to be removed. You are barely 17 and despite what you may believe, you are still legally a child.
I believe that if this is indeed a genuine post, we should not engage in debate with the OP as a safeguarding concern.

SciFiScream I don't exactly hate my body, for the most part it's masculine and healthy so I got kinda lucky. It's more my chest, voice and hips (Also my hair when it begins to grow back cause it makes my face look really feminine and kinda makes me want to throw myself out of a window). I don't like those parts of body because of dysphoria (please ask if you want me to give a detailed description of dysphoria). To put it incredibly simply, dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort caused by the mismatch between gender and sex (There's a bit more to it than that but that tends to be a description people understand). Because my chest, hips and voice are very feminine and don't match my gender I feel very uncomfortable about them. Seeing that my chest is noticeable under a t-shirt or looking at my hips makes me really anxious and uncomfortable. Like I could go from being super happy to incredibly depressed depending on how well I'm able to hide those parts of my body.
I want to go on hormones because I would effectively be going through male puberty which would feel right for me, if that makes any sense?
I want to get top surgery because I hate looking down and seeing lumps where I flat chest should be. (I know manboobs exist but mine are far too big to pass off as them and I can't bind right now cause I can't afford a good binder and I don't really know if I should seen as I struggle to breath a lot)

Why do you think having life changing surgery, rendering yourself sterile and making changes to your body that will mean you will always be permanently different, unusual, unconventional, will make you happy? You're treading a path that will take you further and further from the norm and most likely more and more alienated, other than those other poor souls who are similarly at odds with themselves.

I was a suicidal, self-harming teenager. Thank god, as your brain matures, life often becomes far more tolerable. There is no magic fix. Trying to become something impossible (male) won't solve your problems - most likely you'll get to 35 and bitterly regret all you did.

Why take yourself down a path that cuts you off further from family and friends and opportunities? Why not take time out, travel, volunteer somewhere where children live in grinding poverty and the notion of gender identity is unheard of. If you're gay or a tomboy then be gay. Don't mutilate a perfectly healthy body in some quest to solve your problems.

Soontobe60 If you're allowed to say your views on this then so should I regardless of my age. How is this a safe guarding concern?

What Soontobe60 said. I'm questioning your motives, tbh, and if it's real you need to find another audience.

@Soontobe60

Was that really necessary? It was supposed to be a Q & A session. It's unbelievable that the 17 year old seems to be able to behave civilly and yet other posters get really goady.

She wasn't being goady

Can anyone who doesn't want to be here just leave please? Some of us parents would actually really benefit from this

@Thisismytimetoshine No. To be fair, she wasn't. But I wasn't talking about @Soontobe60.

The goady posts as soon as the OP went up

FreckledLeopard I know this won't magically fix my mental health problems, I used to talk my ex out of suicide a lot so I definitely have lot more going on than just my gender. But that being said, my gender dysphoria is the reason I began self harming and have considered taking my life. I live in an environment where I was taught it was wrong from a really young age and hear my classmates say stuff like "they should bring back the Holocaust for the LGBT community", I wouldn't take this path if I didn't think it would help.
I tried to be a tomboy and it fucked me up in so many ways. I'm also not gay, never thought I was.

*The goady posts started

How much plastic surgery and hormones do you think you will need to make you feel better?
What makes you so sure that the changes will give you the feeling you are looking for?
Have you read any of the stories from women who have regretted their transition and feel that their body has been left permanently damaged?

Is it about the outward appearances that @Voice0fReason has mentioned? Or the internal hormonal changes? Or both? Or is it the acceptance of the world (including your loved ones) that you are a man?

If you're not here to learn something then please just go. I don't have hidden motives nor am I here to be told that I'm stupid and naive (I'm also not here to turn people trans, I hate being trans and I wouldn't wish it on anyone). I grew up in a really scary environment and I just want to do some good. If you disagree with me, that's okay, you're not legally obliged to like me. But that being said, if all you're here to do is tell me I'm confused then please just stop, it's not exactly helping anyone.
(Also, yes I am actually 17, yes I use the word "peeps" unironically)

Destroyedpeople It's 100% true. It was during a tutor session at college and people in my class got into a discussion about rainbow poppies (cause it was around Remembrance Sunday) and one of the guys said that cause he really doesn't like LGBT people.

Some of us parents would actually really benefit from this

You should not be seeking to benefit from a child

I am not going anywhere it's a public forum. I was just curious because teens saying ....that stuff about the holocaust sounds far fetched tbh.

Ok 'one of the guys said he doesn't really like lgbt people'.....that sounds a bit more likely.

You sound very troubled. I hope you find some peace, op.

What happens if you have medical treatment and it doesn't make you feel better about your body?
Why not have therapy to accept your body? Like someone with an eating disorder?
What happens when you are 30 and you don't feel weird in a growing body any more, but it's too late?