Read this if your child is questioning their gender

[jakeosaure]

Hey, my name is Jake, I'm a 17 year old trans guy from England. This thread is for the the parents/ family/ friends of someone who has come out as trans as well as for people who just want a better understanding on the topic.

Feel free to leave any questions you have about being transgender, transitioning or anything else you want or need to know. You can also use this as a place to vent about your child's transition, but please be don't try to use it as an excuse to be transphobic.

I haven't come out to my family or college yet so I haven't begun transitioning but I do know quite a bit about different surgeries and HRT options, as well as binding, packing and tucking, so I should be able to answer most questions or at the very least link you to a video which answers it.

Trans peeps, feel free to comment your experiences :)

Please can everyone be kind and respectful, don't spread misinformation or claim that all trans people are pedos or predators (I hear it so much, it's incredibly annoying and inaccurate).

Anyways, ask away ❤

It's not 'gender' it's 'sex'

And telling children they can change sex with...'binding' packing' etc is just wrong sorry.
Don't start crying that I am a massive 'transphobe' because I am not particularly.

@destroyedpeople Binding and packing doesn't change your sex, no. No one can change their sex, that wasn't what I was saying. For me transitioning is changing what I can about my body to make me comfortable instead of the suicidal wreck I have been throughout my life thanks to gender dysphoria.

Hi Jake, I just want to make sure that I have understood you properly. You are biologically male but hope to transition to female. Is that right?

@JustHavinABreak Opposite, biologically female transitioning to male :)

Jake, what made you, a 17 year old, think that starting a thread on mumsnet to answer questions about transition (that you have not actually started yet) would be useful to you or us?
Do you think the mean old ladies of mumsnet haven't spoken to trans people before?

@Destroyedpeople

It's not 'gender' it's 'sex'

The OP didn't mention sex once in the original post. Only gender was discussed throughout

I'd like to just quickly say that I had a far better and more detailed version of this but it got deleted, hence why this one is has little detail on it. I just want to give people a safe place where they can ask questions in the hopes that people may understand it a bit better :)

How did it get deleted? Did mumsnet delete it?

Well if it helps you through life carry on. But I still think encouraging children to mutilate their bodies so that they can conform to some weird gender stereotype is wrong.
Why can't you just be a woman who doesn't conform? That's the worry.

@jakeosaure Ah my apologies. Can I ask what age were you when you felt that you were in the wrong body?

Safe place......right.

Yeh who says 'peeps' under the age of 50'?

@CodenameVillanelle Isn't it great that you already know everything about it? You can save yourself the trouble of reading the thread so and toodle on to something else that "the mean old ladies of mumsnet" might approve of.

I am humble enough to say that I still need to be educated and if there's a 17 year old willing to do the job, then I'm grateful that he'll do it.

Jake have you seen the updated NHS information that talks about puberty blockers etc. How they can no longer be assumed not to be harmful?

What about young boys who go onto puberty blockers if they continue down the pathway they aren't left with enough penile tissue for SRS and if they desist they risk being left with a micro penis.

We've done a lot of work as a culture to try and accept the concept of the female penis or dick as clit. Why can't society do they same work to accept men with boobs (there's even a name for them, man boobs/ moobs) or a vulva. Using vagina it could be called a mangina.

This work would save many people from unnecessary hormones, surgery, damage to body while protecting physical health, fertility and future sexual enjoyment.

Do you see double standards between the way trans men and trans women are treated?

CodenameVillanelle Most people I know don't understand what being transgender is despite having met transgender people in the past. Seen as parents are the ones who are usually most impacted by a child's choice to transition, I wanted to give them a place where they could talk about it freely without judgement, not tell someone if they should or shouldn't transition. The reason I haven't explained anything yet is cause I want people to ask questions. I hoped it would maybe do some good, my parents aren't exactly great about the LGBT community (especially the trans community) but maybe if they were given the chance to ask questions they wouldn't be so bad about it.

We've done a lot of work as a culture to try and accept the concept of the female penis or dick as clit. Why can't society do they same work to accept men with boobs (there's even a name for them, man boobs/ moobs) or a vulva. Using vagina it could be called a mangina.

Are your parents aware of your situation at all or is this Q & A session a chance to see what they might ask you?

Destroyedpeople I came out to my mum when I was 15 and when she didn't accept me that's pretty much what I did. I couldn't last half a year being a woman who didn't conform without almost ending my life and turning to self harm. If I try to picture a future where I'm a woman it's like hearing white noise, it feels so wrong and uncomfortable to me. I don't believe every kid who doesn't match society's expectations should transition, that would be incredibly stupid. I just want people like me who suffer from gender dysphoria to have the right to choose to transition (I really wish my options weren't: keep living as a girl and end up killing myself out of discontent or transition and be hated by everyone I love but here we are)

As I said if it helps you through life fill yer boots.

What is it about having a female body that you hate so much? You can do anything you want that's stereotypically associated as being male with the body you already have.

JustHavinABreak No problem :)
I'm honestly not sure, I think I've always felt like something was off but it was when I was 13 that I began to actually acknowledge it. Like, when I was kid I always pictured myself as a man, I never really considered myself to be a girl.

Hi Jake,

How old were you when you realized you were trans?