Please Help! I have really blown it with CAFCASS Guardian today

[tartyhighheels]

Oh God, she stormed out and I shouted! Went to court 2 weeks ago and met the guardian and the lawyer for 10 mins before the court hearing - neither of them had read the case file and the cafcass officer admitted her own records had lots of information missing. Their lack of info got them a bollocking from the judge for not being prepared and made me feel really rattled.

Fast forward 2 weeks and she come to see me for an hour after she has seen my ex.... she still hasn't had the court file or his medical records (even though they were originally requested 9 months ago) - she goes on holiday on friday for 2 weeks and returns 48 hours before her report has to be filed with the court. I told her that i felt she should read the court file about our case and the records before she makes her final report and she disagrees......

She asked lots of tricky questions and openly doubted my claims about domestic violence - to be fair, i didn't report it enough but my children are having help fom nspcc etc with it all - so i feel if i had lied, someone would have worked it out by now. We are also judged to be at high risk by a multi agency thing including the police and social services (cannot remember the name) - we have a quick response marker on our address etc . She was really difficult and asked me if i had provoked him to hit me etc, just really upset me generally as i have found it very difficult to come to terms with no having left sooner etc.

What i want to know is if someone else had has difficulty with a cafcass guardian - we had a old cafcass officer who was lovely and really fair with me and him and the girls but she has gone off long term sick and retired in the meantime.

Can i ask for this to be dealt with by another person? she was weird enough to me at the court but today was just amazing - I know i have really fucked myself up by doing this but i honestly feel that she should at least have knowledge of our three year case and all the evidence before she questions me in such an ascerbic and confrontational manner

I have been such an idiot to respond to her in this way but she kept saying really dodgy things to me and then saying she was just 'playing devils advocate' - i told her i thought this was a very innapropriate way to approach such a sensitive situation and asked if she has had any domestic violence training.... that really pissed her off

Please anyone with any advice offer me some help.

I've been thinking about this, I think if you are concerned about your childrens mental state then get a referral thro your private healthcare and have them receive therapy.

Any reports in court from a professional will not be seen as biased as they'd be at risk of having to stand up in court and defend their diagnosis, judges are more likely to accept reports from qualified professionals than our words.

I will try and egt a referral - our gp had no luck but i know after te oldest has finished her counselling she would refer her - it just seems like i am constantly on the back foot here - reading through the file it seems obvious to me that the way he presents and writes to the court is really extraordinary - i just cannot believe that i feel like i am the one having to prove myself to protect my children - i made a mistake intially about not making a big fuss about domestic violence - mainly because i was ashamed and frightened that no one would believe me anyway... turns out in this case my instinct was right eh?

Without doubt my children are suffering and i am trying to help them without makingthem think something is wrong with them if you know what i mean

Tarty, at the begining of my divorce proceedings I was very reticent in calling a spade a spade, but I learnt the hard way that unless you spell it out (several times over), the courts comepltely ignore you.

Next time you see the CAFCASS officer if it would be possible to have a risk assessment done as your children are clearly very very distrubed at the contact with their father and your worried about the damage this is doing to them.

I think I mentioned, the CAFCASS officer in charge of my case was ignoring me too, till I told him that I would hold someone repsonsible for any harm caused to my children as a direct result of his recommendations for the children to have unsupervised contact with their father.
He was very anxious to inform me that I couldnt legally hold anyone repsonsible after the case went to court, but he also started taking me very seriosuly, and quite frankly if it ever comes to it (god forbid), there's more than one way to hold someone responsible for hteir actions!

I have just found out that the childrens legal aid does not want to pay for the family psych assesment so it could be that the cafcass officer has the only input into the case re. decisions about access.

After i spoke to her boss she has asked for more time to file her report so at least now she will have read the case and medical records - afetr my dodgy start with her i doubt she will be very helpful or recommend further pysch investigation of my ex.

Just at my wits ends and back in court of thurs - i have not been able to agreea date with her to meet the children as she has only offered me the same day or tomorrow appointments and i really feel afert the way she treated me she may not be sensitive to my children so i have suggested they are talked to here at home or with my oldest dd's nspcc counsellor. Making a rod for my own back though as she told me that she will be writing in the report that i am not cooperating..... i am trying to do the right thing but i think i have fucked up hugely.

You really need to prioritise her meeting the children, even if you think she won't be sensitive - you will undermine your case if you don't.

Probably not what you want to hear, but if she already thinks you are unco-operative you are playing right into ex's hands.

Well to be honest i have messed it up now and will have to explain on Thursday - I do think when they are 8 and 6 she should meet them at home (as the last cafcass officer did - not be taken miles away to her office and have a day off school when they have never laid eyes on her before) - i do agree it is a priority and thankfully this is an interim report and i have started a complaint about her. When I spoke to my daughetr nspcc counsellor she told me thatthe same woman had also been very tricky with her and tried to make her say things she didn't want to.... that said, i know i have to sort things out but i am so scared of her beong pushy with my ladies, they have been through so much, the youngest has only ever said she will now see him and the oldest gets very distress about speaking about him again. I just want them to be handled carefully and hope that the funding comes through for the psych evaluation so the kids can speak to someone about how they feel.

Good Luck for tomorrow - let us know how it goes.

err well i got a copy of the cafcass report last night and it is not good- she even mentioned that he doesn't eat meat and exercises 4 times a week but mentions he alledges i take drugs, which i don't.... he has managed to say lots of things about me that she has mentioned but the things i mentioned havent been out in there - even though i provided evidence. Really i am overwhelmed but i will get my shit together and try again.

On the upside she does not recommend direct contact because she hasn't seen the children - so at least we have a reprieve for a while.

Hang in there, tarty. I have been following this even though I've not been in the situation, and I feel so for you. The whole thing is appalling.

I really would advise you to get some legal help on board - can you not beg steal or borrow?

i think focus on the recommendation bit rather than the rest - i.e. that "she does not recommend direct contact because she hasn't seen the children "

if judge does not ahve much time then s/he will only focus on what is the recommendation. and that looks fairly straightforward - so if you can get six months no direct contact then all good.

well by way of update

it went well really because the judge thought there had been a 'clash of personality' between she and i....... it rolls on but i was listened to and we did get funding for psych reports which means the children will be heard by someone and helped

she blew it by going over the top and the ex has been before the judge many times so the judge has an opinion of him not helped by the fact that the ex turns up scruffy and with no paperwork or positive input only slagging me off

thanks everyone here who has been kind or offered advice, this is honestly like being stuck in some sort of hell and doesn't help my children get past their fear and see their father in a safe way

Really, really relieved for you, Tarty - hope the psych reports go well.

Thanks, i feel confident about it as i have honestly behaved well and haven't influenced the children badly - essentially i have nothing to fear from that process so can go into it positively

We too had a nightmare guardian from CAFCASS. We had really positive reports from the local authority social worker and an earlier officer, but this woman was so much like what you have described.

Her report upon me was basically a character assassination, full of easily disputed "facts". Once she got a solicitor and barrister matters just got worse.

She had to sack her own barrister because even she did not agree with the way the guardian was treating us. I know this to be true, because we had a meeting with her line Manager, who when pressed, admitted this was the case. She had to search around until she found someone who, in her own words "thought the same way as me...."

Although CAFCASS have a complaints procedure, they investigate themselves. As the organisation is in meltdown and they simply cannot afford to lose any more staff, you can imagine the outcome.

If you have any doubts about this, look up the OFSTED reports which indicate they are not fit for purpose.

Very few complaints get to an independent body looking at them. You have to go through your MP to get to Ombudsman level, but they do not investigate your complaint, only the way CAFCASS have "dealt" with their complaints process. What a joke.

This is why CAFCASS quickly tell you to take your complaint to the Ombudsman.

The guardian in our case actually tried to use against me in court the fact that I had complained about her, stating it was a character flaw of mine that I had to complain and that my complaining "damaged" the children.

Although you may not want to hear this, you are not alone and please do not feel you are an isolated case. I certainly hope you do not have the same CAFCASS Officer as ours.

Well I have complained and have had a chat with her Manager but I get the distinct feeling it is going nowhere even though the Guardian's behaviour was outrageous. I wonder Elsie if she is one and the same as yours.

Kids are seeing the pysch here at home on Monday next. My youngest DD had severe language probs so this is better for her, a fact cafcass bitch refuses to acknowledge. She still insists in over and hours drive to her office to interview them....

My oldest DD has also told her NSPCC counsellor that they were left in their fathers flat in their own so now they are writing to cafcass to support me and the children - this is great news because DD has given a great deal of detail about violence and neglect and before this the nspcc was bound by confidentiality but this crossed the line so they can intervene.