Please Help! I have really blown it with CAFCASS Guardian today

[tartyhighheels]

Oh God, she stormed out and I shouted! Went to court 2 weeks ago and met the guardian and the lawyer for 10 mins before the court hearing - neither of them had read the case file and the cafcass officer admitted her own records had lots of information missing. Their lack of info got them a bollocking from the judge for not being prepared and made me feel really rattled.

Fast forward 2 weeks and she come to see me for an hour after she has seen my ex.... she still hasn't had the court file or his medical records (even though they were originally requested 9 months ago) - she goes on holiday on friday for 2 weeks and returns 48 hours before her report has to be filed with the court. I told her that i felt she should read the court file about our case and the records before she makes her final report and she disagrees......

She asked lots of tricky questions and openly doubted my claims about domestic violence - to be fair, i didn't report it enough but my children are having help fom nspcc etc with it all - so i feel if i had lied, someone would have worked it out by now. We are also judged to be at high risk by a multi agency thing including the police and social services (cannot remember the name) - we have a quick response marker on our address etc . She was really difficult and asked me if i had provoked him to hit me etc, just really upset me generally as i have found it very difficult to come to terms with no having left sooner etc.

What i want to know is if someone else had has difficulty with a cafcass guardian - we had a old cafcass officer who was lovely and really fair with me and him and the girls but she has gone off long term sick and retired in the meantime.

Can i ask for this to be dealt with by another person? she was weird enough to me at the court but today was just amazing - I know i have really fucked myself up by doing this but i honestly feel that she should at least have knowledge of our three year case and all the evidence before she questions me in such an ascerbic and confrontational manner

I have been such an idiot to respond to her in this way but she kept saying really dodgy things to me and then saying she was just 'playing devils advocate' - i told her i thought this was a very innapropriate way to approach such a sensitive situation and asked if she has had any domestic violence training.... that really pissed her off

Please anyone with any advice offer me some help.

,,,

can anyone help?

Sorry I can't offer any practical advice but didn't want you to go unanswered. I hope someone with some experience of this comes along soon.

Thanks very much - it is a pretty specialist thing i know but hoping i am not the only one

bumping for you. fingers crossed someone with experience will be along in a mo.

sorry, no practical experience but
here is the complaints procedure for CAFCASS

and should you tell the guardian that she's going on holiday so the report probably won't be ready?

"She was really difficult and asked me if i had provoked him to hit me"

sorry I thought there was a separate guardian for the children, I misread your OP.

the scary thing is that she is prepared to enter a final report without any information other than talking to him and me for an hour! she must be psychic

she also asked to see the children tomorrow and i said they have school and then something after school - she implied i was refusing to cooperate - i did think it was reasonable to have more than 24 hours notice....

just to be clear my children live happily with me and my new h happily here - the old cafcass officer found us to be doing fine and recommended the children seeing their father ina secure place - my oldest dd refused to go and the youngest dd never wanted to go in the first plce so i cancelled the contact (first time i have ever disobeyed anything to do with the court)- he has been found to be punishing them inappropriately and not treating oldest dd illness etc and found to be lacking in several areas

maybe you have to wait for the report itself and then pick up any incorrect bits in it?

"asked me if i had provoked him to hit me" good grief!!

you could write to her picking up on that point and others? to explain ? just state facts as they are police incident reports etc?
my cafcass officer alsosaid and asked some odd questions - but in the end her report was largely fair and the recommendations were good...

Were you assesed as high risk by MAPPA tarty??
Noy you, I mean the ex? Same here with my ex!

We have such a similiar case, I'm frustrated on your behalf

I don't think you can request another one...... She sounds a nightmare

"....asked me if I had provoked him to hit me..." ???????? AAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Poor lamb, see, it was all your fault!!!!!! I give up....

Clearly, she hasn't the first clue about DV - hasn't she seen those ads on the telly?

CAFCASS have a complaints procedure, a copy can be found their website.

I would write/email the CAFCASS Guardian outlining your concerns and the inappropriate comments making sure that you copy in her line manager and even the Head of CAFCASS if you feel that is appropriate. You may get a quicker response if you copy in the Director. I would also copy in your social worker.

As you know, it is always better to put in writing any dealings you have with any child (Safeguarding) organisation, or else they can deny that you raised these issues. This letter/complaint should be put on your file(s) for future reference.

I don't think any child care professional would think it's good practice not to read your file before writing up a report for the Courts. If she doesn't file the report on time, your letter could then be produced to the Court as evidence.

I thought the idea was that agencies shared information and by not reading your file, she is missing the views of the other professionals, police etc involved in your case. The sharing of information between professionals is key to good decision making. Although time and time again professionals have failed to do so. In this instance, the information is available to the CAFCASS Guardian, so she has no excuse for not using it in preparing you report - how arrogant of her.

Good luck.

Yes I think luck is what i need - yet another sleepless night for me again..

I did say, beining ahs she was going on holiday and our court file had not been given to her yet and she had not received the medical records either, how could she write a final report.I did ask if she could, in light of it not being her fault in not having the info, ask the court for an extension on the deadline, she said she could ask but would not as she would write the report on the information she had!

She also explained that the ex had told her that he had never had any time off for depression of had any pstchiatric treatment - and she took this as gospel. He lied to her about a matter in divorce, she was very categoric with me about him not lying even when i showed her some papaers which proved he had not been truthful she just said it was not relevent.

It just felt she had an impression of him as the good one and no evidence i produced (as there is lots and lots) would sway her from her line. My h now, who is much more calm and reasonable than me found her 'devils advocate' approach extraordinary - really confrontational.

What happens is she makes a report and then the medical recods show something? she is the only one seeing the records and it is her call whether he has forensic psych exam - she ia hardly going to volunteer this information if it makes her look wrong is she? genuinely, he is dangerous, violent and scary but he has obviously charmed the knickers off her and she wont hear a word agaisnt him even when i produce evidence from third parties (which she refuses to look at as it is in the court file)- she hasn't even mentioned the police, she said, there are no police reports and in fact there are lots, only two i think about him hitting me but lots of others for harassment and things and she seems totally disinterested.

ahhhhhhh!

i really think you would fare better with some legal asisstance tarty!!

i think you will need a solicitor to point out the things she hasnt done/got....otherwise her report will be used for your ex to get alot of access,of course you know this already,but a solicitor will have experience here

also,deadlines,i was told,are rarely met,with regard to getting reports in on time,as i was worried our report was 2 months late!!

i agree about the deadlines but she is keeping to it because she and lawyer had a bollocking last time for taking so much time and not being prepared. I am writing to the judge today to let him know she is making the report without my file or his medical records - and yes legal advice hopefully tomorrow morning

this is a second report, the first found very much ion my favour - this is my fault becuase i stopped contact when my dd (8) just lost the plot and was scared to see him

If they give too much access or any unsupervised i am going to france - because i know he will hurt them, it is a matter of time that is all. I have put them at risk before trying to please everyone and not knowing the full extent of things but not any more.

I understand completely where you are coming from but I would strongly advise you not to go to France to deny him access. That would be a criminal offence. There is a good chance they would find you and bring you back. You wouldn't be any help to your DD if you are in prison.

The thing is I will not let him have unsupervised contact, my oldest dd has diabetes and he has not treated it several times many many other things like trying to put them in care and extreme punishments etc etc so it isn't going to happen - if i don't comply a penal order will be attached and eventually i will go to prison anyway - i will not run off precipitously - it will always be a last resort for me but i cannot let them go back to that situation with him.

Part of me wishes i had kep my cool yesterday but really not sure it would have made much difference she was just so confrontational and dismissive about the dv

Once your dd is a little older then she can vote with her feet! Mine did.

Following your story for some time now tarty, and remember the France plans! Just hoping for some breakthrough for you

delays in the system worked for me...... Gave the ex time to get into trouble with the law which all went against him

I do understand and I sympathise. I really hope you can get this sorted.

Well i just called and started my complaint about her becuase really what she said was outrageous, more than anything it really hurt me as i have never used his violence towards me as a reason for amything, just my oldest dd saw so much that it is all now coming home to roost if you know what i mean. The younger dd has never wanted to go as he used quite extreme punishments on her and at the time she could not even speak so was completely unable to tell us anything... really horrifying as agan she comes out with things now that are chilling.

I have also found an outreach worker for this area to see if i can find some support for the court process as clearly i am not managing it on my own and am in danger of making things worse - i wonder with a third party around if she would have moderated her approach to me?

This, for anyone who is in my siuation, is a hard lesson in not reporting violnce in hte home and waiting for my ex to do the right thing. i really am paying for this now.

I have encountered this situation so many times and I keep trying to stop people listening to advice like 'just stop the contact and let him take you to court'. When there is a court order in place you need to apply for a variation if there is a problem. The reason she is saying that she doesn't need to read the case file is because that case has already been judged on.

When a court makes an order, it has made a judgement about what is best for the child. Now you can debate the rights and wrongs of what they order but when you decide to ignore what they have decided you do it at your peril. The emphasis is then on getting the person who is breaking the order to conform. The issues you raise are not new, the court has responded to your concerns by ordering supervised contact. By refusing that you cast doubt on everything you have said.

I'm so sorry as I know it isn't very helpful given the current situation. But it is vital that you are aware of the thinking of Cafcass and the court. If you want to protect the children you must be seen to cooperate. At the moment you have played right into ex's hands (as you will if you try to take the children to France). I think you have some hard decisions to make.

Actually the decision was made without the full knowledge, wither by the cafcass officer thast made the intial report or the judge - it was not a final order and he too broke it by not doing the indirect contact. The medical records were asked for in June, the order was made in sept - the original cafcass officer went off sick so was unable to report on them and now we have this situation.

I may have played into his hands but my 8 year old imploded and believe me i took a lot of advice before i stopped the direct contact - all i did was ask for the process to be slowed so my daughter could benefit from the dv counselling she was having as at that stage because of the waiting list she had only had 2 sessions and wasn't prepared. It also turned out that the contact centre were unable to reallt help us either because the childrens father had lied on his referral form about there not having been violence in the home - there was also a previous abduction attempt so therefore the woman running the contact centre felt that their facility was not safe enough or appropriate for the contact.

I did ask for a variation and for time but becuase cafcass did not assign the case for several months we are now in this situation. Honestly, i do fail to see what decisions i have to make - we are being referred to a child psych, my daughter is in dv counselling and being asked if i provoked my ex husband is completely unacceptable as well as her generally casting doubt on my situation 'ringing true' it is really worrying so i am going to do all i can to discredit her report.

Also this has been a long process with him coming to sourt for various things and then walking away and leaving us in a no irder situation - he has huge form for this whereas always i have complied with the letter of the law - only when it became a child protection issue did i do anything than exactly instrusted.

i have never been someone who has takne the attitude of stopping contact and letting him take me to court - i have encouraged contact and mediation all the way along, thankfully this is well documented but this is about him beinding us out of shaoe and etting thigns exactly how he wanted them - i offered contact centre to him 2 years ago after the abduction attempt becuase i was worried for his mental health and he told me to go fuck mysself, he would ratehr not see them.

The cafcass officer when she came told me that she was here so see if the first order was still appropriate - how can she do that without the medical records and the case file. She should at least know the basic anatomy of this case, which she didn't. The 'facts' she arrived with were derived from him - who she had been to see first. As an example, she said that he had never tried to divorce me, i showed her the divorce papers and she was stunned becuase she has taken his word for it - whilst this is a minor issue and indeed nothing to do with the childrens case - he lied to her about it for some reason but she had believed him so all the questions she fired at me could have been avoided if she had read the case in the first place. If one only has 1 hour to talk about the situation surely that hour should be based on fact rather than spurious claims by an ex whos mental health in in serious doubt and could have been dispelled by reading the case file. Other things he told her were, the Police have never been involved, there have been no reported incidences of dv, she is making the children use different surnames. Reading the file would have proved all these things untrue and she is disrespectful of me and him and certainly of my children to be so unprepared and so boased agasint me because of misinformation.

I am completely appaled at the basic lack of preparation - if she does not have the information then she should ask for an extension for filing - it is afterall the court that have not provided her with the information - perfectly reasonable to ask for an extension but she wont because she got a bollocking from the judge for dragging her heels she is now rushing this through but i do not see why the truth shoudl get lost in the process.

have read the thread and i see that you give detail upon detail of what is at fault. may i ask what your next steps are going to be?