Legals people can I ask a question please re divorce

[Advicewithoutfortune]

I have a solicitor and I don't know what to expect except I seem to be coming off worse than people around me getting divorced.

He earned more than me ,my work fit around the children etc and I became more ill as marriage went on. I still work but it's part time.
He took our two DC as well one who just turned 18 and one who turns 18 in Dec.

I've been offered nothing except a % of house equity. Nothing else he earns over 100 grand and has planned this for a long time .

My question is that when I saw the solicitors barrister they seemed united that this was all I can get.
I can't understand why.

Id like to get a second option but I'm terfied of costs .
Would a barrister have a quick chat to tell me if it's worth pursuing in court ?
Or would a phone call be charged ?

This legal team know the intricacies and far far more detail than we do.

Trust them

Does he have a pension @Advicewithoutfortune you need the CETV of this as you will be entitled to some of this

This is his second marriage but no previous DC

This is my problem I don't feel reassured by them at all I don't think they like me

@Holsareovertooquickly22929eee unbelievably they have said I won't .

Get a second opinion.

You’ve not really given much info to go on. The starting point of a divorce is 50/50 but factors like paying for children or ill health usually tip the balance. How long have you been married? What % of the assets are you currently being offered? Do the children live with him, are they in education that he’s paying for?

Oh FGS. Over and out

He said he will help our eldest son with uni costs.
Ive always worked but have illness now I still work but less. Our youngest son has sen and has tutors he pays for.
Married 19 years and the only offer is a split of equity in my favour nothing else.
This won't buy me a house where I live and she said all I'm expexted to need is a one bed

@Poppedforgum are you ok ?
I'm bleeding money here and lost and scares and desperatly looking for advice and help a second opinion and how I can get that.

Change your solicitor/barrister.

Or better still,, represent yourself.

If there are no dependent children (under 18) when you split then I think you’re looking at 50% of assets each, assuming you’ve been together 20+ years to have DC the ages you’ve stated.

Marital assets would include property, savings, pensions. Property includes cars, jewellery, belongings in the house.

You are unlikely to get any compensation for the fact you’ve run yourself ragged and made yourself ill looking after the family. If he was a very high earner you might get spousal maintenance for a while, but this is unlikely and probably dealt with by the slightly higher percentage split of assets in your favour.

It sucks. We should advise our daughters not to make the same mistakes. But it’s probably not worth fighting if two or more solicitors have said the same thing.

Ask them to explain why you’re not getting any share of his pension.
Ask them to explain why you’re not getting any maintenance, even for a limited period so that you can retrain.
Ask them to explain why you aren’t getting any of his assets.

Ask them to put it in writing.

Don't represent yourself.

I would pay to get a second opinion but your current legal team know all the ins and outs of your case. It's highly unlikely they're advising you incorrectly because "they don't like you".

They may be suggesting a higher equity split and you don't make a claim on his pension?
Has your XH disclosed all his finances?

I’m ok, yes. You aren’t though, hence the thread. An entire team of legal professionals who’ll know the full story think you should
Accept it. They could extract More money from you by saying to carry on fighting.

I am not a lawyer. Am sure some will come along.
Ultimately if you don't have the kids, you don't need a large property. So it all depends on the needs of both parties. So what are the matrimonial assets? How much is the house worth, how much equity available. Are there any savings or anything else. What is your earning power and what is his. And what are the outgoings /needs.
At the end of the day it all gets lumped together and divided. But if your equity/assets is not huge and he is providing a home for the kids whilst at uni etc then maybe there's not a lot left.
Ultimately none of can really say without all these facts and if your legal advisors are not explaining this or helpful to you then get some others! Because they are the ones that need to fight your corner

He has always been very keen to build his pension but apparently it's the same as mine i don't know how or whether he has declared all of them ? I've no way of knowing whether any of his declarations are true at all. Apparntly at this level without a court there is no way to know.

@Lifeislove all i feel I have done in these months is fill out forms and forms..
I can't help feeling I could have done that myself which I have and arrived at the same place.
Ive paid thousands for this only the house equity.

@Whyherewego it's looks like he lost a lot of money on bad investments but it's hard to prove.

What percentage of house equity are they suggesting and what's the property value?

That's not fair.

There has been a drift in the profession a little too far towards the commercial bottom line and away from client care, in general.

Both barristers and solicitors are obligated to advise their client, and proceed only with their agreement and understanding.

It sounds like they haven't got either, because they haven't bothered to explain why this is their advice, or the risks involved in pursuing more/other avenues.

Frankly I couldn't care less that lawyers find the basics like this to be annoying, time consuming or undermining their profits (according to the regulators own research). Their primary obligations are firstly to the court, and second to the interests of their client.

Nowhere in the core duties/code of conduct is there permission to steer a case without client understanding or consent, or dictate case direction without explanation.

Why would you want to prove that? The money is gone so it’s irrelevant

Unfortunately, unless we have it laid out what he’s got that’s considered marital assets (and what you’ve got), we can’t state you should get more than the equity. The kids are considered adults, and the one needing support is with him and being supported by him. I can’t see what you can justifiably ask for. It’s usually children and the continued care that gets the woman the higher end of the shared assets. As pp said, if you’d come on here ten years ago saying you were making yourself ill and losing pension contributions, we’d have warned you to get your ducks in a row. Legally, without a prenup, which aren’t worth much in the UK, or some other reciprocal agreement, you’re just looking at a split. Go into detail, you may as well, someone might have seen or experienced something down the line and can find some case law that supports your cause.

This legal team are urging the Op
to settle. If they were trying to extract money they’d be saying the opposite

Yes that's right I'm not ok so why an unhelpful response to someone who is in need of support?
Iev already paid thoudands upon thousands.

And your legal team are trying to stop you spending thousands more on waste