Legals people can I ask a question please re divorce

[Advicewithoutfortune]

I have a solicitor and I don't know what to expect except I seem to be coming off worse than people around me getting divorced.

He earned more than me ,my work fit around the children etc and I became more ill as marriage went on. I still work but it's part time.
He took our two DC as well one who just turned 18 and one who turns 18 in Dec.

I've been offered nothing except a % of house equity. Nothing else he earns over 100 grand and has planned this for a long time .

My question is that when I saw the solicitors barrister they seemed united that this was all I can get.
I can't understand why.

Id like to get a second option but I'm terfied of costs .
Would a barrister have a quick chat to tell me if it's worth pursuing in court ?
Or would a phone call be charged ?

If he has lied it's quite hard if you've no evidence to the contrary. If you have any documents or anything that may help then great but ultimately it's a form with a signature. My ex lied but I let it slide because I wanted to just get it over with and I had enough to live on

You do realise that sometimes the most profitable cases are the quick ones?

I'm not saying their advice is wrong anyway. I'm saying they haven't explained that advice properly. Otherwise OP wouldn't be posting.

They know they have their money from me and can't fight or take it further.

With ai I'm sure they will be a thing of the past quite soon .people will diy it.

That's interesting pysco pop how is that ?

OP what have you spend thousands upon thousands on? Have you had mediation? I presume you have had financial disclosure, what evidence did you ask for to back up his submission?
The pension question would’ve be answered by this.

surely you can see the total of his assets vs yours from the disclosure forms? I don’t understand why you seem to know so little about the actual financial situation.

one bed flat is likely all you need but the option is to take out a further mortgage if you want something bigger- post divorce both parties are expected to fund their own lives.

Yes I can't help feeling things don't add up. It's a sipp people can have sipps and other investments can't they.
It is a form and a signature.

I'm going to be left so poorly off in every way and he will be able to earn back what I get very fast.and have a much better standard of living.
19 years of marriage.
I'm middle aged and my health is getting worse and it's the feeling that the solicitor doesn't even think I need a three bed house ?
But he does !

I’m no legal expert at all but it seems that because your children are adults (or very nearly) they’ve started at 50:50. All divorce assets starts at this and then you only get more for having to house children and also taking pensions into account. So if you’ve had more than 50:50 I’m guessing that’s because his pension was a lot more. Solicitors are probably right.

My friend felt she was owed more. Her solicitors advised her not to pursue and to settle. She didn’t, she spent more and more money , even took out loans to pay solicitors to get what she thought she was entitled to. She went to court and ended up with less than her DH offered her in the first place plus a ton of debt .
I’d trust the barrister , they usually know what they’re talking about !

This

and it isn’t just the barrister saying it on this case

If this is this is the case and a forgone gone conclusion what have I paid for ?
What would have made then diference to this outcome then ?

Surely the OPs question is - is he hiding the value of his SIPP or lying about it to stop the OP getting half. If they have a house worth £1million and he is a high earners who has paid attention to his pension he could easily have another £1million in his SIPP. But he lies and says the SIPP was bad investments and not worth much to avoid sharing it.

OP - this could be happening but it is very very hard to prove. Unless you have definitive evidence that he has a bigger SIPP, the courts will believe him.

strategically, it might be better to take the 50% of the house with a clean break and start rebuilding your life.

Well thats true if the dc are with exh. You'd get more if your dc were younger and mainly living with you.

I think op has an equity split in her favour, but hasn't clarified the percentage.

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You don’t need a 3 bed house OP, you already said the kids are staying with him, so all you need to do is house yourself. That’s exactly what the judge would tell you if you pushed it to court.

It’s not a forgone conclusion, but it’s your choice to proceed to get it in front of a judge and see what they say.

but what will your argument be?

you can’t pay out solicitors in the expectations they’ll make a certain outcome happen just because they cost money. Presumably you hired them (rather than negotiating yourself) to help you navigate the process and advise what’s reasonable?

But when my sonss wants to stay with me, where do they sleep ?

If all of this is so obvious and seems to happen all the time what have I spent all this money on ?

Because they’re adults, that’s like asking the judge “my mum likes to stay where will she sleep?” - adults sort out their own occasional sleeping arrangements

if you had shared care of your under 18, you might have an argument that you need a 2 bed, but you don’t seem to?

What split of equity are they suggesting?

Having a bedroom at both parents houses when separated is a privilege, certainly not a right or something a court has any interest in ensuring is possible in divorce settlements OP.

The kids have a resident parent, in your case that is their dad, so he is the one who needs a 3 bedroom house. You are the non resident parent and so your only housing “need” is for yourself. You may WANT a 3 bed, but you don’t need one.

So why is it ok for him to ask for three bed house ?

Because the two teens want to live with him

Because as you have already said, the kids are staying with him.

He’s not asking for one. He’s buying one, with his smaller share of the equity. He’s not getting a free house is he?

if you got more equity than him and can only buy a 1 bed with it, he’s taking out a mortgage to get his 3 bed

If you were my friend OP I would tell you to accept what the solicitors who actually have all of the info are telling you- this is your best deal. If they thought there was any chance you could get more they would be the first to tell you to pay them more £££ to spend more time getting a better settlement for you.

A majority % of equity is a good settlement, especially as you are not going to be resident parent for the children.