Ex's new partner has Social Services involvement, false domestic abuse claims, and active safeguarding issues. Can we stop our kids being around her? (England)

[rose9826]

I (28) live in England and need advice regarding child contact and safeguarding. I have two children (ages 3 and 6) with my ex "John" (35).

We split 1.5 years ago on fine terms.

John also has two older children (10 & 12) with his ex "K" (30). K and I are on good terms.

John, K and I have no prior history with police or Social Services.

John has been with his new partner "Jane" (23) for a year. Jane has a 2-year-old child. Over the past year, several major safeguarding and behavioral issues have emerged regarding Jane:

-Jane lives in a Mother & Baby Unit and has active SS involvement due to safeguarding issues. SS banned John from being around Jane’s child after learning he smokes weed (on his balcony). John and Jane repeatedly breached this restriction. Recently, they were caught, SS briefly removed Jane's child and placed him in the father's care, but returned him. John openly admits he ignores SS rules because he doesn't agree with them.

-Jane messaged me telling me to "do one" for co-parenting with John. She also wanted John to stay on the phone the entire time he was providing childcare at K’s house, and expressed that she wants him to financially/emotionally support her son and have her son call him "dad."

-During an argument where John tried to leave her flat and had to physically move past her, Jane called the police claiming domestic violence. John was arrested, but police took No Further Action. John has no prior history of ever being violent toward me, K, or anyone else. Out of malice, Jane then reported John and K to SS for child neglect (NFA’d after investigation). Jane later admitted in a call to SS that she lied.

Despite all this, John rekindled the relationship.

Current Situation:

John previously had a 1-bed flat where the kids stayed overnight 3 weekends a month, but he gave it up. He now only sees his children for a couple of hours each week, either on a weekend or after work in the week. He has now pretty much confirmed he will be moving in with Jane.

Both K and I are extremely uncomfortable with our children being around Jane due to her volatile behavior, false allegations, and disregard for SS rules. John says he will seek legal advice about Jane being around the children, claiming "she apologised, everyone makes mistakes."

Questions:

What options do K and I have to legally stop John from bringing our children around Jane or into her home?

If John takes us to court for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO), how will a court/Cafcass or Social Services view Jane’s ongoing SS involvement, her history of false reports, and their intentional breaches of SS rules?

How likely is a court to rule that our children can or cannot be around Jane given this background?

What immediate steps should K and I take to protect our legal standing while still offering safe contact between John and his children?

We want our children to see their dad regularly, he has always been a good, present dad before Jane came into his life.

A few hours a week? I couldn’t get worked up about that. Especially considering you’re cool with them being around their idiotic, weed smoking father.

How old are your kids? The exs are 10 and 12, they’ll be fine.

Honestly unless your kids are very young I would just leave him to it during his time.
He’s a fool and he will learn the hard way. But the kids will be fine. Just, you keep away from her. She has it in for you.

Yep, they used to spend Friday - Sunday 3 weekends a month with their dad, but he gave up his flat so now can't have them that much.

The older two already know what's going on and aren't very happy with him being with her and don't want to know her anymore, my two are only 3&6 but they are very much daddies boys and absolutely love him so it is extremely hard for me to see them not see their dad more and have them constantly asking me when they are seeing him, when they will be staying with him again etc.

Weed heads shouldn't be around kids, TBH

The op literally gives her kids ages in the first paragraph - 3&6.

OP I can’t give legal advice a I don’t know, but why are you blaming Jane for everything when one of the SS issues was caused by your ex smoking weed around her child? Presumably he also does this around your children - and his one bedroom flat probably reeked of it.

Your ex sounds like a right piece of work, and has a pretty gross habit of targeting younger women than him it seems. Don’t worry - Jane will age out in a couple of years if you look at his history…

John sounds like a selfish prick.

1 He’s happy to give up a home that accommodates his children to move into a less stable unsustainable accommodation and situation for his children.
2 He has smoked dope in a property around a child that is not his after being warned by social services resulting in the child going into social care.
3 He’s also happy for yours and Ks children to be around an unstable partner who has active social care involvement.

If you have a legal agreement I’d go back to court. If not I’d stop contact and tell him he either prioritises a safe healthy environment for his children or he dosnt see them. I’m sure that will sure his true colours.

Stop blaming the new gf and start looking at the man you had children with,

He sounds like the problem. He’s targeted a very vulnerable young woman, extremely predatory. If you don’t feel safe sending the kids to him suggest he spends time with them at your home or somewhere you both are. He can take you to court but it will take a long time and cost money.

I would stop all contact with their Dad.

I would also not be allowing a three and six year old to be alone with a drug user.

You’re being naive here. John is a very shady character, drug addict who started a relationship with a very vulnerable much younger women, sounds like he is a domestic violence perp and won’t listen to ss. He is also happy to expose his children to a toxic relationship,

You could insist he only sees the kids in a contact centre but some one would need to pay for that. Would he go to court if you stopped him seeing the children?

Where is John living now if Jane is in a mother and baby home?

I also don't see social services banning a man from being around a child because he smokes weed on his balcony. Drug use is so prevalent that kids are left with active addicts. Are you sure that he is telling the truth about that?

I wonder how long until Jane falls pregnant with his baby.