Summary: accidentally hit husband in the face when he told me of infidelity and he’s reported me to the police.
I hope someone has some advice which might help. Last week I found out my husband and been having an affair with someone I’ve suspected for a while but he’s always denied. We were sat in the car in a car park when he also admitted during the marriage he’s had a few one night stands and used sex workers.
I was very angry and I admit I went to hit him across the face. He grabbed my wrists before I was able to and whilst shaking my fists and writhing to get free, I did ‘punch’ him in the mouth. I admit I had originally tried to hit him and only didn’t as he stopped me, but when I did catch him, it was because I’d been trying to get free not because I was still trying to hit him.
His lip bled as in it produced blood, but it wasn’t dripping down his face and it stopped almost immediately when he dabbed it with a tissue. We stayed there and talked/argued for a couple of hours before leaving. His lip didn’t start bleeding again but he said a few times as he looked in the mirror he wondered whether it needed stitches. I told him to stop over egging it and it was fine. He had facial hair so nothing was visible, literally not a trace of any injury whatsoever, and he didn’t show me what he claimed was wrong with it, like “Look at how bad it is.”
Sorry I’m rambling, but want to give all the details.
I asked him to leave when we got home and he went willingly. That evening our DC (unaware of any issue and thought he was still at work) wanted to call him. I made the call to say DC wanted to speak to him and he told me he was at A&E to get his lip checked. I said that was a dramatic reaction as it wasn’t that bad. He said he was pretty sure his lip was split so he wanted someone to check it. He didn’t need any treatment and left. Exchanged messages with me later on saying how sorry he was about the situation.
Turns out he told the A&E nurse I punched him. Said he felt safe at home but was going elsewhere anyway and didn’t need them to do anything further.
He then called the police to log the incident but just told them he wanted it logged but didn’t want it to go any further. They asked if he wanted them to come and talk to me, but he said no.
When he told me what he’d done he said he immediately regretted it, although his thought at the time was that he didn’t want me to have all this stuff on him about what he’d done so he wanted something on me and was scared I’d try and stop him seeing DC
He said he’s sorry he did that and will call the police he spoke with tomorrow and say he made it up, but said they might not be able to do anything now it’s logged. He also said he’s worried that he will get in trouble for wasting police time and potentially get sacked from work.
Firstly, WTF?!
Secondly can someone just call and say you’ve done something but they don’t want it to go any further, but the person accused never find out that’s been said about them? They’ve not contacted me and said they won’t because he didn’t want them to.
What will the police do with this information about me if he doesn’t call them to withdraw what he alleged? Or even if he does update them that he made it up, what will be held on file for me?
Is that going to be on some kind of record for me for any amount of time? Could that effect my job?
Is it likely he would get in trouble for wasting police time? Mostly I don’t care if he does but then losing his job when we’re just about to go through what looks to be a messy divorce wouldn’t be ideal… it’d be awful in fact.
Can I call the police and discuss the case myself with the crime number to check he’s said what he’s said he will? Husband said they probably won’t talk to me as it was him who made the call.
Our GP has been informed by A&E and want a phone call with him next week. He said he will probably cancel it.
He said he told a solicitor he’s contacted for advice, but won’t use that solicitor going forward.
He said he’s taken pictures but not shown anyone. He said A&E and the police didn’t take any pictures nor ask for any to be sent to them.
Thanks for reading if you made it to the end and TIA for any advice.